The “imperious urge” does not come as an option – it comes in the base human package, like it or not. In speaking for myself, as a man, I find that this is because of the visceral nature of sexuality – a God given instinct which for the most part seems to be on “autopilot”.
At times we may not even like it, but there it is – swelling up and getting in the way. – altering thoughts and MAYBE even behaviors. The “saving” grace is that , “If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson.” (70:1)
This idea is not given by the co-authors as their directions of handling PAST sexual behaviors – but in confronting continuing behaviors even as we go forward on this journey.
There will be those to interject saying this was Bill’s way of allowing for his own current sexual transgressions. I don’t think they are being honest about themselves.
How many of us are one hundred percent free and clear of all sexual temptations and self-centered behaviors with the opposite sex? But many of us ARE continuing to become more and more free from the behaviors in which we used to indulge.
It is one thing to not rob banks anymore – or not steal pencils from work or not being deceitful, gossipy or retaliatory in dealing with others because we have changed. It is another thing to perfectly adhere to our sane and sound sex ideal in human sexual relationships – that is something we are supposed to GROW toward. Can we indulge in one of our favorite character defects, sipping ginger ales at the bar of a strip club – while claiming to be “practicing these principles in all our affairs?” Your answer SHOULD be, “You’re kidding me, right?” And of course I am.
So what if we are NOT sorry and continue to give in to the “urge”? That is the “other half” of the truth about whether or not we may drink again. Then I have to be damned sure that I have a sound and sane ideal I can grow toward. Not some vague idea – but a consciously acknowledgeable “set” of ideals that I was instructed to set in Step Four.