Panning for Recovery Gold

Yesterday a very nice lady from somewhere north of this strange Peninsula where I live asked me what a “prospect” was. She was referring to the AA Big Book use of the word.

So who or what is a “Prospect“? I do not speak for the spiritual fellowship called “Alcoholics Anonymous” – no individual does. When it comes to the Twelve Steps I don’t proffer opinions about things with which I have no experience either. I do have experience as a practitioner of the directions that AA’s co-founders passed on to the world and a subsequent understanding of the word that is conveyed straight off the pages of their book, ” Alcoholics Anonymous”.

I am a rare bird in this part of the woods – I am very sorry to say. Most AA folks around here have been told that they should apply Tradition Eleven to their personal recovery – which is about appropriate as applying toothpaste to a mosquito bite. Just because some people do it doesn’t necessarily mean it does anything. “Not worth Jack’s crap” we used to say back in the Bronx.

Sorry Mildred but those are from two separate and distinct sides of the triangle.

“Prospect” is a simple word and their usage is simple too. I have adopted it and I use it as my own- in my own Twelve Step work.

Anyone with a drinking problem – I consider a “prospect” for what we (I) am offering. I am offering them a solution to their alcoholism IF they are alcoholic and then they can come join us in Fellowship of the Spirit too. I can show them how to make that determination by making clear the distinction between the ‘the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic.”.

Sorry but those are from two distinct sides of the triangle.

“Prospect” is a simple word and their usage is simple too. In the book it is used always as a noun. I have adopted it and I use it as my own when doing Twelve Step work in identifying my Twelve Step targets. Some might call it ‘victims’.

Anyone with a drinking problem – I consider a “prospect” for what we (I) am offering. I am offering them a solution to their alcoholism IF they are alcoholic and then they can come join us in Fellowship of the Spirit too. I can show them how to make that determination by making clear the distinction between the ‘the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic.”.

If they get clear on that distinction – as clear as I am - and I am very clear on it because I have learned about alcoholism from the first forty three pages – the pages where out of their own bitter experiences the co-authors try their darnedest to smash home that distinction – then they will be able to come to the very same determination that I will come to about them — that either they ARE or ARE NOT “one of us”.

What is a “one of us”? It is someone who shares the common problem described in the Big Book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” — what the co-authors of that wonderfully spiritual volume call “Our description of the alcoholic.” Not my description. Not your description. Not Dr. Drew’s description. Certainly not the “addiction counselor” down the road’s description – shit, he might might not even know that there is such a thing as a “real alcoholic” and he might be telling folks that they can not and will not ever recover.

Hopefully, my ‘prospect will be honest about it and come to a ‘positive’ result ONLY IF it is their truth and not just say “I AM AN ALCOHOLIC” so that they can come to meetings and join the club or satisfy some other reason for attending AA meetings – like legal orders, espousal nagging or just plain lonely hearts club stuff.

If they come to a ‘negative’ result and not a ‘false positive’ –that although they may have a drinking problem, but perhaps their problems may be solved by less drastic means than a spiritual awakening, I would hope they would do so.

If so then I have done them a tremendous service and not been quick to play God and tell them that they “ARE ALCOHOLIC” simply because they have drinking problem.

They are not then pressured or condemned’ to going to meetings for the rest of their lives by group members of me either.

I have sponsored men OUT OF AA too – not just into the room.

We are not running a membership drive and the fellowship is already top-heavy with attendees who have never bothered or been show how to qualify themselves.

Not every “prospect” has successfully diagnosed themselves as real alcoholics or satisfied me that I should work with them. I have that obligation to them AND to the fellowship – to not bring non-alcoholics into the fellowship when they don’t need to be here.

They are then free to pursue less drastic means to solve their kind of problem – like counseling, putting the plug in the jug – all those willpower methods available to those who are not real alcoholics for whom the only solution is a spiritual awakening.

All this comes out of the Big Book . Don’t let me or anyone else do your Big Book reading for you. But if you read that book PLUS practice what it tells us to do in order to recover from alcoholism I am quite positive that you and I will land right on the same page. So far that has been the e case with virtually everyone I have ever met who does this deal.

Those who don’t? . . . the ‘readers’ and revisionists of the Big Book — the ones who love those Big Book and Twelve & Twelve “meetings” that are nothing more than reading circles and the POP-AA discussion meeting addicted attendees who are “still recovering” and “taking a lifetime” to take the steps . . . . .eh . . . .not so much.

Just to clarify, here are some contextual uses of the word “prospect” out of the book, “Alcoholics Anonymous.’ You tell me if I am ‘on the money’ or not.

• When you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anonymous, find out all you can about him. (90:0)

• Remind the prospect that his recovery is not dependent upon people. (99:3)

• When your prospect has made such reparation as he can to his family, and has thoroughly explained to them the new principles by which he is living, he should proceed to put those principles into action at home. (98:3)

• Your prospect may belong to a religious denomination. (93:2)

• Under these conditions your prospect will see he is under no pressure.(91:2)

• That the man who is making the approach has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about, that his whole deportment shouts at the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, . . . . (18:3)

• Next day found the prospect more receptive. He had been thinking it over. “Maybe you’re right,” he said. “God ought to be able to do anything.” (158:1)

• Your junior executive may not agree with the contents of our book. He need not, and often should not show it to his alcoholic prospect. (148:1)

• Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. (96:0)

• One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance.(96:0)

• One day they called up the head nurse of a local hospital. They explained their need and inquired if she had a first class alcoholic prospect. (155:3)

“Like a gaunt prospector, belt drawn in over the last ounce of food, our pick struck gold. Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds.” (128:3)

There’s GOLD in there thar meetings!

We call them “newcomers!

Peace,

Danny S

Icelandic Alkies Know Better Than We Do

_{NOTE: Those of you for whom “Keep Coming Back” is a solution for your drinking and go around telling folks that things like “Just don’t drink and good to meetings” is some sort of solution to alcoholism may not enjoy this article. But if you will keep an opened mind you may find that everything here is on hundred percent AA. As always anything that cannot be reconciled with the Big Book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” can be safely discarded. Likewise anything that can be reconciled – discard at your own risk and peril if you are a true alcoholic. Anything discard it without bothering to investigate – well, then more fool you. DJS}

_{“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is contempt prior to investigation.” Author Unknown*}

Estimating from the emails I get it seems that many people, whether in the fellowship or not, are not are not familiar with how a Twelve Step “Call” works.

People from Iceland, Australia, the UK, Denmark and Norway seem to have a better grip than many of us in the USA – and AA started here. Man!

Where the hell have you all been with those multi-decade medallions and greying sideburns? SHEEESH

So maybe I can clear up misunderstanding for the uninitiated – and if you have not gotten your understanding of how to perform a twelve step call or what “carry this message” means out of the book, Alcoholics Anonymous then you are the uninitiated and I don’t give a crumb how many “24s” you have “under your belt”, how many IIs and Vs there are on those little brass medallions which you are so found of constantly mentioning to others in meetings — or even how many “pigeons” you have.

If you are sitting meetings telling folks that you have not done the steps – have meandered through them through an “AWOL” or some other “system” or movements or for whatever reason NOT yet recovered from alcoholism – then YOU ARE A NEWCOMER! and people like me – our numbers are wordwide and high – can help you if you will set aside your overblown “Look Ma. Not drink’ today!” ego and admit it.

Anyone with minimal reading comprehension skills can get clear on these things if only they would use the Big Book – instead of some some MOR sponsor or somebody told them in a meeting or in rehab. People that can’t read c n have someone learned read it to them.

That’s how I straightened myself out and began using its practicable applications out in the field, which is where we preform our avocation – not in church basements so much.

Do not follow me for the directions! We have a book with a chapter called “Working With Others” for that. I am just generalizing here and this is my understanding of what the Big Book directions say and call for and my experience in practicing it. Clear? Good.

There are two approaches – not approaches in the sence of “methodologies” I mean two actual ‘approachings‘ when we physically “go visit “ the still suffering alcoholic with the intent of taking him through the Twlevs Steps. Each of these “approach”es has very specific tasks to perform and results hoped for. I cover these all when I do Twelve Step workshops but for now I will generalize and not get into the minutia of it – but you can easily reference the Big Book for the details – what to say, when to say it, what not to say, what to do – it is very clear and precise. That’s twice I’ve said it, now- OK?

The Big Book directions are interesting too, especially if you are not familiar with the process. Your mind would boggle if you saw what I see doing this work in the field. It warms the heart and soul and so encourages one to continue with the work. It is immensely satisfying.

To see families reconcile – lives and health restored and then to watch as these folks then carry it on to other sufferers with the exact same results is sometimes astonishing!

To see men who upon meeting are lying in a fetal position for days and sometimes weeks at a time, in their own vomit and diarrhea, near death – eschewed by hospitals, failures of ten or twenty treatment center residencies – and just a few weeks later are up, holding a job and reuniting with children, parents and spouses, well frankly it is just too much for words. Even for someone as verbose as I.

First it’s helpful to know why we do this work and why it is so effective when “run” properly:

“Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they are very ill.” (89:0)

So let’s take Bill Dodsen as an example – the well known “Man in the bed”. Bill and Bob go after him. Notice the method used in the twelve step work Bill and Bob were performing:

“The man in the bed was told of the acute poisoning from which he suffered, how it deteriorates the body of an alcoholic and warps his mind. There was much talk about the mental state preceding the first drink.” (157:5)

Deterioration of the body? What were they talking about? Liver cirrhosis? – Wet brain” – Pancreatitis“ - Hangovers? Not likely.

They explained to him what they knew about the progressive sensitivity to alcoholic – called “physical allergy” by Dr. Silkworth – and how if any alcohol whatever enters his body the phenomenon of craving would kick in.

This is where we hear much confusion even amongst our own members. Alcoholics don’t CRAVE alcohol until the first drink has been swallowed. (Or alcohol has somehow entered the body through alcoholically contaminated foods, mouthwash, medications, ect)

We alkies don’t sit at home or in our offices “Jones’n” for a drink – when there isn’t any already in our bodies.

So if we cannot have any alcohol in our bodies without experiencing a craving for MORE, and we don’t CRAVE more until the first alcohol is introduced, then why can’t we “Just Don’t Take The First Drink” – thereby avoiding the CRAVING for more? That should solve the problem, right?

Right! It sure should -and for some people it does – unless they are alcoholics of our kind – the real alcoholic for whom AA was created.

What they explained to Bill D shed light on why he couldn’t do that – why ALL alcoholics cannot do that. They talked “much” about the mental state preceding – BEFORE – taking the drink. That means they explained to him the obsession or in other words the alcoholic insanity of taking that ONE DRINK even though his past history adequately demonstrated an inability to stop (Craving more) when he needed or wanted to stop.

Once he “Got it” – then “Getting it” was not enough. You know like a junkie gets a fix and that seems to be enough? He’s good! Alcoholics are different – they MUST have more immediately. He recognizes this in himself and sees that this continuous cycle makes his kind of condition a hopeless one. (That means he took Step One)

Finally:
The two friends spoke of their spiritual experience and told him
about the course of action they carried out. (157:1)

They wrap the presentation with their solution to the problem – that is the “What happened” part you may have heard of in the formula. What happened was that they had a spiritual awakening/experience that came about by “Action they carried out”. Then they outlined that program of action to Bill D – the Twelve Steps.

Now all our friend Bill D needs to do is acknowledge that the spiritual solution will work (Step Two) and to make a decision to follow the course of action they outlined to him. (Take Step Three).

It’s a simple effective formula for carrying this message.

• Explain the allergy/craving -what you “were like”
  
• Explain the obsession/insanity – again part of what “you were like”
  
• Explain the spiritual experience (This is “what happened” – which can’t be done if we haven’t actually HAD a spiritual experience ourselves) and explain the 12 Steps. (Again – can’t be done if we haven’t taken them)
• Tell him what life is like now AFTER recovery. (“What it’s like now” – It’s going to be GOOD — if you have recovered)
  

BUT WAIT!

If my prospect cannot identify with my explanation of allergy AND obsession – I may not be dealing with a real alcoholic. Even if he IS, he may not really WANT to stop. (SO I ASK HIM!) If so, there will be no need to proceed. But I have still been helpful – now he is free to seek help for whatever OTHER problem he may have that has brought him to this horrible juncture.

“After satisfying yourself that your man wants to recover and that he will go to any extreme to do so, you may suggest a definite course of action.” (142:4)

Have any of us ever gone on a “Twelve Step” call prior to actually understanding the disease – been able to explain it as Bill and Bob have done – had a spiritual experiences and recovered through the twelve steps?

I have. Shame on me – and shame on anyone who hasn’t experienced the solution, hasn’t learned how to explain it – yet attempts to pass it on to another alcoholic whose very life sits in our hands.

If the guy/gal is a real alkie – willing to go through the simple process of the Twelve Steps and adopt its new way of living on a continuing basis – then these folks WILL HAVE a spiritual awakening that BLOWS THE MIND! So much so, they are sometimes ridiculed and eschewed by contemporary “meeting goers” and others who call themselves “still recovering” alcoholics who have not done or experienced what he has.

But they never drink again and they pass on to others exactly what has been passed onto them in the same way it was passed to them. It’s fast acting.It’s effective and I have NEVER seen it not work for any real alcoholic willing to really try. Heavy drinkers and problem drinkers hardly EVER “really try”. They don’t HAVE to! They can just moderate or quite on their own – they put the willpower that they already posses to put the “plug in the jug” and leave the fellowship – or else they stay and avail themselves of the social benefits – coffee, chicks or hunks, a night out of the house, friends. Some even go on the Internet passing on their middle-of-the-road solutions which worked for them but is deadly for us real alkies whose malady can only be conquered through a spiritual awakening. Oh, did I mention that “spiritual awakening” is the only purpose of the 12 Steps – not “to stop drinking”? I probably did.

Some even go on the Internet passing on their middle-of-the-road solutions which worked for them but is deadly for us real alkies whose malady can only be conquered through a spiritual awakening. Oh, did I mention that “spiritual awakening” is the only purpose of the 12 Steps – not “to stop drinking”? I probably did.

I hope this give you a good idea of how the twelve steps for alkies like me work and why I am so passionate about recovery and Twelve Steps. But more importantly if you are in a twelve step fellowship – are a real, true alcoholic and re being told that it’s OK to just show up to ” show others that it can be done” – share your lifes problems, bring cookies and make coffee and shake hands with a newcomer in the parking lot and that THAT stuff is a sufficient substitute for what the co-founders prescribe as a vital and necessary part of the AA Program of recovery – then you are being lied to and are in great danger and it is no wonder that you think you think that you will “never recover” . I believe you. You are probably correct.

The ‘Circle’ in the Circle and Triangle isn’t a freakin’ Scooter Pie, OK?

Peace,

Danny S

* The co-authors may have been wrong since Herbert Spenser cannot be attributed to this quote. See here.

‘Pop-AA’ – The Easier – Softer Alcoholics Anonymous

In our little Big Book Study we were on page 89 which talks about “Working with others.” I was taught that working with others means being a Good Samaritan – you know, being a newcomer chauffeur, making coffee, sweeping up after meetings. Yes I am old enough to have even cleaned a few AA ashtrays in New York City where I first joined the Fellowship.

Doing these things is a wonderful experience. It is participatory and proactive work. We know that newcomers benefit greatly from that kind of “out of self” activity. I know that I did.

But is it the “working with others” that the co-founders discovered was key to permanent sobriety?

I was TOLD that the “work” prescribed in the Big Book was “old-school” and that most of it could not be performed “these days” that many ideas in the Big Book was antiquated so they had to be reconsidered – so I needed instead to play the Good Samaritan and just be helpful in any way I could. “Put out a hand” - whatever the hell that means. I think I means just being friendly and giving out phone numbers in the church parking lot. Stuff we should be doing anyway – just to be civil – not part a “Program”.

Then I realized that the folks who had converted the “working with others” prescribed in the Program to these more modern methods weren’t really Twelve Steppers. “You know that Big Book was written in the 30’s and things have changed. We can’t do what they did back then.“

Oh and here’s my favorites: “The rehabs have taken over. We don’t get that work anymore.” Really? The rehabs are taking alcoholics through the Twelve Steps and the “clients” are having spiritual awakenings as the result of the step they take in rehab?

You’re kidding, right?

Keep dreaming and YOU WISH! What a great way to excuse yourself from working with other alcoholics. I suppose they also think that AA is nothing more than a “ongoing – outpatient treatment” facility for the Treatment Industry.

That’s what the Treatment Centers use AA for – do they not? I wonder how much money they send to AA for that. Nothing! It is called Theft Of Services - and AA, by it’s own Traditions, being the altruistic Fellowship it is – cannot object.

I figured, “Well if just being a nice and helpful guy” - combined with “putting the plug in the jug” were all that was needed – then why is it that I HAVE to do it in AA? I can be nice, helpful, and exert my will ANYWHERE. Why should I have to “go to meetings” too? The answers where incredible. “There’s magic in the coffee pots”, is a gem – of course my Mr. Coffee at home could be as “magical”, no?

There are folks in AA who actually have convinced themselves and others that bringing cake and making coffee and baking cookies is STEP TWELVE. Astonishing! (See: Coffee & Cake 12 Stepping)

I was brainwashed and ‘more fool me’.

Yes, the ‘Pop-AA’ fellowshippers had a way of making my un-recovered and still aching ass feel guilty if I didn’t “go to enough meetings”. They tried to instill fear in me that if I didn’t do it “their way” that I would drink and die.

The problem is that “their way” was NOT the way of the co-founders who had found a solution to alcoholism. What those fellowshipers had found a solution to was something other that “Our description of the alcoholic” It was THEIR own “Description of the alcoholic” – and the two descriptions just did not jive. In many instances they are 180 degrees apart form each other.

For example, (i)AA proposes that no matter what an alcoholic cannot WILL himself sober – that help must come from God and that help is permanent if spiritual principles are followed. They have no choice in the matter of drink.

(ii) Pop-AA meeting hobbyists say that they stay sober by willing themselves NOT TO DRINK – no matter what. They CHOSE not to drink a day at a time – and can either take or leave spiritual principles – they will STILL not drink if they stick with other people.

Those two ideas are exact opposites of each other.

Many of the folks I encountered we “Fellowshippers” staying sober by “just not drinking” and going from meeting to meeting, day by day, for support and human aid. They didn’t HAVE a Program or if they did it was this newer and supposedly improved program that gave great lip service to some major AA principles but was practiced sporadically, at best, and not at all at worst.

Oh sure, I bumped into the occasional – read that as “hardly ever” - recovered alcoholic who HAD had a spiritual awakening as the result of the steps and who WAS willing to carry the “this” message to me by taking me through the steps – but as many alkies, a good ol’ 90-in-90 provided enough relief so that the path of LEAST RESISTANCE – which is middle-of-the-road solutions based sobriety provided by “just showing up” – was FAR more attractive than taking the drastic and arduous actions prescribed by the co-founders in the big Book, “Alcoholics Anonymous”.

The man who originally Twelve Stepped me into the spiritual solution died suddenly and I needed a rudder by which to steer. I gave up the spiritual approach in favor of the easier-softer-way. I was a fool.

Experience tells me that there was probably a good and “Godly” reason why the recovery path is just this way many of us – rife with mistakes that kills other alcoholics while some of us get through alive. Some of us so not. None of us do this perfectly – maybe if only so we can tell the story as I have just done.

Peace,

Danny S

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Twelve Step "Calls" Work

With the email I get it seems that many people aren’t familiar with how a Twelve Step “Call” works – so maybe I can clear up misunderstanding for the uninitiated. Do not follow THIS as the directions! I am just generalizing here and this is MY understanding of what the Big Book directions say and call for. Clear? Good.

There are two approaches each with very specific tasks to perform and results hoped for. I cover it all when I do Twelve Step workshops but for now I will generalize and not get into the minutia of it, but you can easily reference the Big Book for the details – what to say, when to say it, what not to say, what to do – it is very clear and precise.

And it’s interesting too, especially if you are not familiar with the process – (And effective!) Your mind would boggle if you saw what I see doing this work in the field. It warms the heart and soul and so encourages one to continue with the work. It is immensely satisfying work.

To see families reconcile – lives and health restored and then to watch as these folks then carry it on to other sufferers with the exact same results is sometimes astonishing! To see men who upon meeting are lying in a fetal position for days and sometimes weeks at a time, in their own vomit and diarrhea, near death – eschewed by hospitals, failures of ten or twenty treatment center residencies – and just a few weeks later are up, holding a job and reuniting with children, parents and spouses, well frankly it is just too much for words. Even for someone as verbose as I.

First it’s helpful to know why we do this work and why it is so effective when “run” properly:

“Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they are very ill.” (89:0)

So let’s take Bill Dodsen as an example – the well known “Man in the bed”. Bill and Bob go after him. Once again in noticing the method used in the twelve step work Bill and Bob were performing:

“The man in the bed was told of the acute poisoning from which he suffered, how it deteriorates the body of an alcoholic and warps his mind. There was much talk about the mental state preceding the first drink.” (157:5)

Deterioration of the body? What were they talking about? Liver cirrhosis – Wet brain – Pancreatitis - Hangovers? Not likely.

They explained to him the progressive sensitivity to alcohol and how if any alcohol whatever enters his body the phenomenon of craving would kick in.

Here we hear much confusion, even amongst our own members. Alcoholics don’t CRAVE alcohol until the first drink has been swallowed. (Or alcohol has somehow entered the body through alcoholically contaminated foods, mouthwash, medications, ect)

We alkies don’t sit at home or in our offices “Jones’n” for a drink when there isn’t any already in our bodies.

So if we cannot have any alcohol in our bodies without experiencing a craving for MORE, and we don’t CRAVE more until the first alcohol is introduced, then why can’t we “Just Don’t Take The First Drink”, thereby avoiding the CRAVING for more problem?

They explained this to Bill D. They talked “Much” about the mental state preceding, BEFORE, taking the drink. That means they explained to him the obsession, or in other words the alcoholic insanity of taking that ONE DRINK even though his past history adequately demonstrated an inability to stop (Craving more) when he needed or wanted to stop.

Once he “Got it” – then “Getting it” was not enough. He recognizes that is hopeless. (HE took Step One)

Finally:
The two friends spoke of their spiritual experience and told him
about the course of action they carried out. (157:1)

They wrap the presentation with their solution to the problem – that is the “What happened” part you may have heard of in the formula. What happened was that they had a spiritual awakening/experience that came about by “Action they carried out”. Then they outlined that program of action to Bill D – the Twelve Steps.

Now all our friend Bill D needs to do is acknowledge that the spiritual solution will work (Step Two) and to make a decision to follow the course of action they outlined to him. (Take Step Three).

It’s a simple effective formula for carrying this message.

• Explain the allergy/craving
• Explain the obsession/insanity
• Explain the spiritual experience (Which can’t be done if we haven’t actually HAD a spiritual experience ourselves) and explain the 12 Steps. (Again – can’t be done if we haven’t taken them)
• Tell him what life is like now AFTER recovery. (It’s going to be GOOD)
  

WARNING: If the prospect can’t identify with my explanation of allergy AND obsession – I may not be dealing with a real alcoholic. Even if he IS, he may not really WANT to stop. (SO I ASK HIM!) If so, there will be no need to proceed. But I have still been helpful – now he is free to seek help for whatever OTHER problem he may have that has brought him to this horrible juncture.

“After satisfying yourself that your man wants to recover and that he will go to any extreme to do so, you may suggest a definite course of action.” (142:4)

Have any of us ever gone on a “Twelve Step” call prior to actually understanding the disease – been able to explain it as Bill and Bob have done – had a spiritual experiences and recovered through the twelve steps?

I have. Shame on me – and shame on anyone who hasn’t experienced the solution, hasn’t learned how to explain it – yet attempts to pass it on to another alcoholic whose very life sits in our hands.

If the guy/gal is a real alkie – willing to go through the simple process of the Twelve Steps and adopt its new way of living on a continuing basis – then these folks WILL HAVE a spiritual awakening that BLOWS THE MIND! So much so, they are sometimes ridiculed and eschewed by contemporary “meeting goers” and others who call themselves “still recovering” alcoholics who have not done or experienced what he has.

But they never drink again and they pass on to others exactly what has been passed onto them in the same way it was passed to them. It’s fast acting.It’s effective and I have NEVER seen it not work for any real alcoholic willing to really try. (Heavy drinkers and problem drinkers hardly EVER “really try”. They don’t HAVE to! They can just moderate or quite ON THEIR OWN – they put the “plug in the jug” and leave the fellowship OR they stay and avail themselves of the social benefits. Some even go on the Internet passing on their middle-of-the-road solutions which worked for THEM but is deadly for us real alkies who’s malady can only be conquered through a spiritual awakening. And spiritual awakening is the ONLY purpose of the 12 Steps – not “not drinking anymore”)

I hope this give you a good idea of how the twelve steps for alkies like me work and why I am so passionate about recovery and Twelve Steps. It’s not only for what it has done for me – but what it does for others.

Peace,

Danny S

Message Of Death

As a newcomer, I was devastated to be told that no one in AA had the answer.

Yet that’s what some folks told me.

Can you imagine if Doctor Bob had that kind of talk around? Well I guess he did for a long time. In fact that’s what most alcoholics came to eventually. They became labeled as hopeless and were put away in asylums eventually.

But then Bob met Bill. And Bill didn’t tell him he had no solution. He told him quite the opposite – and in that was hope for Dr. Bob.

Here’s what Dr. Bob has to say about Bill W’s message:

“He knew all the answers, and certainly not because he had picked them up in his reading.” (The Doctor’s Nightmare”)

Here’s how Bill viewed it: “We told him what we knew of alcoholism and the answer we had found. He made a beginning.” (35:3)

Today I have gratitude that indeed that presumption of mine was as dead wrong as the advice from folks who told me they didn’t have the answer.

So when I meet a newcomer I let him know flat out – that the answer was passed onto me – and I will do everything in my power to pass it on to him. I tell let him know that There IS A Solution and then I tell him How It Works. Then we work it together – and recover from this terrible curse called alcoholism.

Under no circumstance do I ever let a newcomer think that no one has the answers – because if he thinks that, he might go away – just like I almost did – just like I see people do and die.

I do this, because the avocation is not in killing people. I have an avocation of helping others recover from alcoholism. Some say “I don’t have the power to kill or save anyone”. Really? So Charles Manson doesn’t exist? So no lives have been saved through the works of our co-founders. Well, here’s a bit of news: Each of these men carried messages and those messages produced results.

If we take the fatalists position that “Nothing I say can kill anyone or save anyone” – then there is NO POINT in carrying this message to the alcoholic who suffers then – is there? It’s all predetermined by God! Nothing to do. Go home. No need to be helpful to anyone. It’s ALL in God’s hands! PUHLEEEZE!

If you have recovered – if you have sought and found the solution to the problem through the path tread by our co-founders – you may ridiculed. You may be called arrogant and a “Know it all” by those who do NOT know the answer – who instead prefer to proffer a false modesty found in the idea that “I don’t know how this works – I just that it does”.

But it is worth the cause, I promise you. Because when that newcomer needs someone to explain to him how this works – and he runs into the AA Dummy instead if you . . . And he hears something like, “Keep coming back” instead of the solution to his problem . . . HE’S DEAD!

Remain a dummy and there may be no trace of blood on your physical fingers, but let me ask you this, “What kind of messenger do you want to be? One who carries the message of hope? One who carries the message of apathy. Or one who carries the message of death?”

You will have one of these messages. I assure you that. Which will it be?

“We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others.” (132:2)

Peace,

Danny S

Is That Your Pants I Smell?

I used to sit in meetings of alcoholics anonymous listening to scores of “Over qualifications” (Lies) which threw me off. I’d hear AAs who said they were alcoholics talk about NEVER being able to NOT DRINK. And for me it just wasn’t true. I would, at certain times, be able to stop or moderate.

I figured I must not be as bad as they are, or maybe even not one of them. These occasions became less and less frequent as time went on, that’s true.

But I’ve come to appreciate the stories of “Real alcoholics” today who speak with absolute honesty of their drinking histories, and I’ve come to see that virtually all real alcoholics COULD and DID stop for a day at a time, when necessary. “Round the clock” drinkers just don’t exist,
it’s just not humanly or physiologically possible.

Clancy I. gave a good discourse about this one time. I used to have a CD of him around somewhere. Probably forgot about it and lost it to some dust bunnies under the bed.

I drank until I either ran out of money, time or consciousness. But when I did finally run out, I wasn’t drinking.

Today I tell the truth from the podium. 100%. I am not in business of killing alcoholics with lies or half-truths about me or about alcoholism. When we lie or exaggerate or embellish to newcomers, the KNOW it – when something is not humanly physically possible – they see right through it – and when a real alcoholic suffering from untreated alcoholism loses your trust – then whatever message you THINK you are carrying, goes down in flames. “You can’t bullshit a bullshitter”as the the saying goes — and alkies are the best in town.

I don’t have to impress anyone with how bad things got for me either. It is irrelevant. If I can adequately describe incidents which fully illustrate the mental obsession AND the allergy, I’ve given out enough info which ANY real alcoholic can identify.

This is what my big Book tells me to do when I 12 step. Speaking in meetings has nothing to do with 12 stepping but I imagine the effect can also be carried, at least somewhat, from the podium.

When you talk about things like Obsession combined with Allergy – 4th dimension of existence, the AA code, finding NEW power and no longer being powerless – for the heavy drinkers in the room, there’s just one big SWOOOOOSH sound that goes right over their heads. They cannot identify with your kind of drinking and they can’t identify with your recovery either. But there is nothing so gratifying as hearing 20 or 30 out of 100 drunks laughing with me at my pitch, doing the AA head-bob, and sometimes even crying at a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous as they hear one drunk talk to another.

So will this rant get liars to stop lying? Probably not. What would a liar want with being of maximum service and in helping others anyway? Their purpose of speaking and “sharing” is self-promotion and sounding good or better than their fellows – not in helping newcomers.

Peace,

Danny S

Bob’s "Mothers Day"

In 1935 Mothers Day – yesterday – fell on on the 11th. It is the day which Bill W made his first approach* to Doctor Bob.

Dr. Bob Smith – hung-over and probably still craving ETOH since he had been plastered the night before and by this time still not detoxed very much – had gone out to get his wife Anne a potted plant for Mothers Day. He got it.

Ahh but alas, by the time he got home with it – he was himself as potted as was Anne’s gift and the loving husband passed out till morning!

But now the following day it is 5:00 PM Bob and Bob and his throbbing head, dragon breath, trembling fingers and maybe a good case of the trotts sits with Bill in the Gate Lodge of at the Stan Hywet Hall. He would not get up to leave untill 11:15 that evening.

The Lodge was home to Henrietta Seiberling. The Hall was home to the home of one of the most famous Rubber Barons of the 20th century Frank Seiberling – Henrietta’s Father in Law. (Messy, messy messy – let’s save it for some other time) - and Bob has given Bill his fifteen minutes of twelve stepping glory.

What Bill has to say to Bob carries so much depth and weight, Bob identifies with it so deeply – that the fifteen minutes lasted FIVE HOURS and fifteen minutes.

You see, Bill knew something about alcoholism – some things which had NEVER occurred to Bob and it caught Bobs attention more than anything else he had ever heard.

Bill has had the spiritual awakening, he has been miraculously freed from alcoholic insanity AND been given the power to help others — and through no genius of his own he is able to carry THIS message to another alcoholic. THIS MESSAGE - the one in the first half of the preceding paragraph you’ve just read.

We NEVER bore the real alkie when we actually talk about real alcoholism – do we?

Now Bob has got ALL THAT INFORMATION about his malady tucked into his educated, intelligent little scientific egg-head. (He’s a doctor don’t forget – an ASS doctor – a proctologist – but still an educated graduate of medical school. If you ever get a swelling hemorrhoid or a case of diverticulitis – THEN tell me the proctologist is low-man on YOUR medical totem pole.)

Yet where does this knowledge land such a brainiac? On a trip out of town, via train – to the week-long American Medical Association Convention in Atlantic City, NJ.

What happened on this trip? He drank all the scotch they had on the train, bought several quarts on his way to the hotel and pretty much drank away the weekend from the bar and from his room . By Tuesday he was starting in the morning. He did not want to disgrace himself so he checked out, bought some more liquor on the way to the train depot and remembers nothing from then on until he woke up at a friend’s house back in Ohio.

Bill Wilson came and got him. And what do you think Bill did with him?

He certainly did not tell Bob, “I guess you wanted to drink more than you wanted to stay sober.” or “You’re not ready. When you are ready THEN I will be available.” and he sure as hell didn’t tell him, “Next time call me BEFORE you drink.” or any such idiotic quip we hear so often in the fellowship.

Bill knew enough about alcoholism and I am sure these remarks would never even occur to him – just as they do not occur to any of US once we learn the true nature of the malady.

No, he took him home and put him to bed, gave him a few drinks that night, and one bottle of beer the next morning.

Now THAT’S TWELVE STEPPING BABY! The next time you are tempted to lie to a newcomer – telling him that Twelve Stepping can just “Showing up” in meetings, bringing in some Oreos and getting your hand up – remember this story. We DO carry the “THIS” message and guess what?

SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO CARRY A DRUNK TOO! I don’t give a shit WHAT your lazy assed, One day at a timin‘, middle-of-the-road solutions sponsor told you.

Happy Mothers Day.

Peace,

Danny S

* (There are several specific approaches in a twelve step call as we learn in Chapter Seven of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous)

Disgusted With Meetings?

Maybe this will help someone: Some time ago, I found myself being disgusted with meetings, especially the discussion meetings. I just HAD to get them out of my life for the most part and I began going solely to speaker meetings instead.

I made sure that my home group was a speaker meeting and that I went on all of the outgoing commitments. You will NOT see me having a discussion meeting as my “Home Group” these days.

Together with the Home Group meeting, that brought me to an average of three speaker meetings a week automatically.

Then if I felt like going to any more than that, I selected either a BBS or another speaker meeting to attend.

That solved the discussion meeting problem for me.

I make sure I get to the speaker meetings a little early as often as I am able. I stay a bit afterwards – usually at least a half hour or more – keeping myself visible and available to the newcomer. (“Arrive early – Stay late”)

Between the outgoing speaking commitments and visibility I get therewith, I get approached for sponsor ship once in a while now. And because I am there before and after the meetings (Observing and getting into conversations with new arrivals) I can also seek out and approach candidates.

My Big Book tells to to “SEARCH OUT” other alcoholics – not to sit in meetings and wait for them to fall into my lap.

Combine this attitude and ACTION with the DAILY prayer my Big Book tells me to do on page 164, I find myself placed in the paths of enough alcoholics with whom I can work.

If this didn’t work, I’d be combing alleyways and going out to third parties for prospects. I have had to do that on occasion int he past, but for the last several years that has not been necessary.

So I go to meetings, not “to see what happens to people who don’t go meetings” – what sick son-of-a-bitch came up with THAT! . . .

. . . but to maintain a healthy newcomer flow in my life. THAT’S where THIS message gets carried – ONE alcoholic talking to another – NOT one alcoholic talking to sixty meeting attendees, to “straighten them out” or correct their watered down message in case a newcomer is sitting in the room. THAT’S too hard on my fragile little ego. HA!

But if I were to pray that page 164 prayer regarding sick and suffering alcoholics and it went unanswered, I would have to re-evaluate my recovery:

“Why has God answered “NO” to my asking to show me?” How is my transmitter?

Might it be that He knows my house is not in order? – that my attempts to transmit could harm someone? If I am so able, if I have been given the power to help others, then why would not God place His business with me? Maybe he knows something I am not able to admit – even to my own self in secret.

Provocative thoughts huh? I’ve been there – and absolute honesty was imperative in accepting an answer. The God of my understanding is only going to tell me the truth – whether I like it or not.

Peace,

Danny S

One Alcoholic Talking To Another

But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined (p. 17).”

“THAT” of course is “The feeling of having shared in a common peril”. (p. 17)
So what DID hold them together? The “Common solution” to the “Common problem” – namely:

ALCOHOLISM and GOD. That’s it. There are no other problems and there is no other solution which AA addresses. And there’s no place to discuss anything else.

I never went to a rehab, a detox facility; lose my family, a hospital, prison or jail. Never got a DUI conviction, nor did I ever land before a judge. My kids don’t hate me, I career is doing well and my car runs just fine. So when folks convey these horrific experiences in AA meetings, with the though that its is helping someone, it sure as hell isn’t helping me!

Hell, I rode around Wall Street and Manhattan in the back of a limousine popping Budwiesers. I don’t tell people that in meetings hoping they might identify. It WON’T HELP ANYONE – except maybe someone who drank on Wall Street and rode around in a limousine.

Who told them to do this? Crappy sponsors – that’s who. Somehow we’ve confused “sharing” in meetings with “Working with others” and instead of picking up a puking drunk who need to be brought to God through the Steps and taking through it – we’ve begun laying anything that comes to our minds in meetings if we think someone will like it . . . follow it with, “Oh yeah, the steps are good”, and call THAT “Carrying this message”.

If I read the Big Book, I am told precisely HOW to carry this message, and trust me . . . it isn’t by launching pithy shares in AA meetings. (Even if I DO happen to mention the steps. Mentioning the steps is not carte blanche to say any thing I want.)

The message is carried by one alcoholic talking another – NOT one alcoholic sharing with sixty in a room. I know you got used to that stuff in treatment – and that’s wonderful . . . go back there and do it. Or go get a referral for some good group therapies. But lets’ keep in our Primary Purpose – that is helping others recover from alcoholism. Not helping ourselves to the relief that”getting things “off our chest” at the newcomers expense.

Meetings are about HIM. Not you.

How else is he ever going to get his own recovery to transmit to another?

My pigeons carry messages, why can’t yours? Maybe you never carried to him in the first place.

Peace,

Danny S

Carry THIS Messge

I don’t use the “share in a meeting” approach to twelve stepping, frankly because there is nothing in my Big Book which tells me to do it that way – and it has been utterly ineffective. My Big Book is very specific about how to prospect and I tend find men to work with and what to do with them after I do – and it ain’t “Go to a meeting”.

Like many recovered alkies, I’ve tried sharing in meetings with THIS message. I tried speaking from podiums with this message. It’s good stuff. But mostly USELESS - people aren’t going to be swayed. No one as far as I know ever left a meeting where I have spoken and said,

“DAMM!! That guy’s right! I’m going to give up my meeting reliance and seek a spiritual solution!”

Yeah right – keep dreaming.

People who already have what we’ve got are grateful to hear it for change – but they’re already doing the deal. The meeting isn’t FOR them. (Or you and me) It IS for the newcomer.

Primary Purpose DOES happen though, when sitting at a table at Burger King trying not to get ketchup on my beat up old Big Book – while people laugh at us “Jehovah Witnesses” getting loud with each other and laughing and crying over Whoppers (with cheese) & coffee. All the time! Now THAT’S fulfilling Primary Purpose! Not being pithy or sharing about steps from a folding chair! The Book doesn’t prescribe that at all!

Which do you think is more beneficial to a newcomer – sitting in Burger King with a sponsor and a Big Book – or going to a meeting with others to share? I don’t really attend discussion meetings anymore – haven’t in years. They have devolved into piss and moan group therapy sessions which are too toxic to stomach at times. (I’ll end up calling my sponsor in my Tenth Step) I will go if I am hunting for fresh meat though.

When the majority of folks in the fellowship don’t rely upon God to show them how to create the Fellowship they crave – they just create a fellowship they crave without God, and more often than not simply satisfies a self-centered craving for just a place to go instead of a bar and to feel apart of – alcoholic or not. I don’t suppose anyone has ever been to a self-centered, sick and suffering AA group. (And monkeys might fly out of my butt.)

As an individual – as a recovered and knowledgeable sponsor I have to bear the responsibility to work one-on-one with those I find to be real McCoys so that they can do the same. I can make a difference. It’s geometric. Before long we can take the fellowship back as God shows us how to create the Fellowship we crave.

If I am not sponsoring and qualifying alcoholics, as my Primary Purpose, (Not just an AA sideline, from the folding chairs – as something to do to keep me busy in-between meetings, work and family) then I believe I remain a part of the problem. Somewhere along the line “Carrying this message” by looking for AA prospects and taking them through the twelve steps has been relegated to “go to meetings” and launch a pithy share about God and Steps – and there’s nothing in my Big Book to even suggest such a thing.

Peace,

Danny S