Not A Bluefish

How To Qualify Yourself For Membership In Alcoholics Anonymous

Tradition Three - “Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.”

My first utterance in an AA meeting on my first day of AA was “My name is Danny, and I am here to find out if I am an alcoholic”. I had the advantage of having never been exposed to any sort of recovery methods, treatment centers or rehabs. No one ever told me that I WAS an alcoholic nor did any “Addictions counselor” tell me to go to AA and lie: “Tell them you are alcoholic” whether I knew what that meant or not – as happens in today.

I was totally fresh to the idea of getting help to do what I had been unable to do on my own – STOP DRINKING.

One of the ingenious if not inspired aspects of our Fellowship is the proposition that we do not rely on others in making the determination of whether or not we are alcoholic – and tells us how the co-authors of the Book refrained from pronouncing individuals as alcoholics.

That idea goes right out the window the moment we say “You’re in the right place”. How the hell do WE know?

Our Big Book gives us their clear-cut “description of the alcoholic” - the methods and descriptives to use in performing a ‘self-diagnosis’. The co-authors hope was that we had learned from the first 43 pages of the book to see clearly “the distinction between the alcoholic and the nonalcoholic.” (44:0)

Everything I needed was in there. Once making the determination, I was able to declare myself a member, and no one could kick me out.

I never drank in the morning. My wife didn’t leave me. I was never homeless. I was not a daily drinker. I have never beaten my wife or children. I have not done time in prison. My kids do not hate me. I was never hospitalized for alcoholism. I have never been in a treatment center or detoxed on a medical facility.

As bad as these things are none of them would qualify me as being alcoholic. Not one. Not even if they happened repeatedly;y.

I am utterly unable leave it alone, “no matter how great the necessity or the wish” (34:2) Most importantly tI have lost the power to choose whether I will drink or not. This determined whether or not I could quit upon a non-spiritual basis.

So one only need ask a very simple question: Can I stop drinking on a non-spiritual basis? You know . . . “plug in the jug” – “keeping it green” “don’t drink and go to meetings” that sort of stuff.

If the answer is “yes” – THEN I AM NOT A CANDIDATE FOR ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS. I do not need a spiritual awakening in order to remove the insane desire to drink no matter what.

If I go down the street to Vineyard Sound and wade out to my chest declaring “I am a Blue Fish” does not make me one – just as raising my hand and saying I AM AN ALCOHOLIC does not mean I am alcoholic either. I could be misinformed, lying or insane, right?

In AA I learned that since I had such little control over the amount of alcohol I drank, that I suffered from an illness, which only a spiritual experience would conquer. Hence I am member and a satisfied customer of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Now that I know for sure that I fit “Our description of the alcoholic” and NO ONE else’s description -no matter how much “time” they have — or how many degrees or certificates they hang on their wall – I can call myself a member of Alcoholics Anonymous in good conscience and not bully my way into a fellowship for which I hold no qualification.

Peace,

Danny S

Question: Describe "Alcoholic"

Time’s up. Pencils down!

Have you ever heard someone say that they “ALWAYS KNEW” they were alcoholic. I’m sure you have. You may have said it yourself at times. I know I have – sorry to say.

Then how come if I ask what an alcoholic is, I can’t get an answer that’s even CLOSE to what my Big Book clearly tells me? How can that be? Keep in mind now that these are folks attending AA meetings and who are trying to fit in an be members – benefiting from the AA experience.

They can tell us about all the grief that drinking has caused them. They can give a freakin‘ drunkologue that will have you weeping into your cocoa puffs and balling through the night

But to give an actual definition, or better yet – give “Our description of the alcoholic” – they can’t do it.

So how do they know if they are alcoholic or not – and if AA is for them? They don’t.

Some coming to meetings for double digit years – getting their buck-an-hour group rap sessions without ever qualifying – thinking they are members – not passing on the “THIS” message – not giving away the common solution to real alcoholics – telling them things that THEY do to stay sober – that will KILL the real alkie. What a disgrace.

My friend Mickey Bush, an alcoholic if ever there was one (and an addict too) - says he’s got two parrots, Bill & Bob. He’s taught them to say “I’m an alcoholic.. . . I’m an alcoholic” - but are they alcoholic just because they SAY SO? (Please don’t confuse AA membership with diagnosis. No one is an alcoholic just because they SAY SO.)

Well, if I stand in the middle of a used car lot – does that make me a Buick? If I go down the street here on The Peninsula of Doom and jump into Vineyard Bay – and swim across it to Martha’s Vineyard = does that make me a Striped Bass?

No, what is likely to have happened is that they . . (Not the parrots) . . walked into an AA meeting and some arrogant ass said to him the same thing that was said to me. It was something like “No one gets here by accident. If you are here you are an alcoholic”.

Or maybe . . .

“It’s Friday night and your in a church basement with us. You MUST be an alcoholic.”

WHOA! Wait just a cotton pickin‘ minute there guy. What ever happened to “We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself.” (31:3) See link

What will you will be told about these beautiful words from our Big Book? You will told that you are too STUPID to diagnose yourself. Of course it may not be said in those words. It may be couched in something like, “Your best thinking got you into your current mess so you can’ t trust your thinking” – but this is the stuff we hear all the time in AA.

Ok. But you can trust someone who doesn’t even know what “Our description of the alcoholic” is? – - who hasn’t learned for themselves the distinction between and alcoholic and a non-alcoholic? – - who thinks that anyone who drinks too much – too often, automatically is alcoholic and therefor qualifies for membership in AA?

You may be told that your brain is still “In the fog”, or some other such condescending tripe. Meanwhile, the Big Books historical accounts, ALL of which are about twelve stepping by the way, show case after case of still shakin’ and bakin’ alcoholics being taught to do just that – learn to make the distinction between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic and see if they identify.

“In the preceding chapters you have learned something of alcoholism. We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the nonalcoholic.” (44:0)

It is the ONLY way to concede to ones innermost self your condition – being TOLD you are alcoholic is NOT.

Wouldn’t it nice if when someone comes up to another says he doesn’t know whether or not he’s an alcoholic, if you they don’t know, they might want to set the ego aside and say something meaningful and helpful – like “I don’t know.”

Then they could be sent someone else in the home group who knows what they heck he’s talking about. It may save a life, instead of kill someone. Or send him to me – I do know as was passed onto me. I do not make the aforementioned “proclamation” – but I sure as hell will show that person, in AA’s Big Book where the diagnosis is – so he can LEARN whether or not he qualifies. Then if I am satisfied – by hearing his story, supported with his new found knowledge – that he is “One of us” (Not one of “me” of “US”) then I can take the time to show him the solution we have found.

I want to make sure he’s the real deal because as far as I know no one has EVER recovered from alcoholism who didn’t actually HAVE alcoholism – and if I waste time with someone who cannot recover from a malady they do not have – I may deprive another truly suffering individual from what we have to offer.

Yes it is an exclusive club – for alcoholics only! Not hard drinkers, not lonely hearts, not cheap bastards whose insurance has run out for out-patient therapy, not drug addicts, not over eaters – JUST ALCOHOLICS – those who suffer from alcoholism – by “Our description” – Not yours, not mine, not Oprahs, not Dr, Phils, not your family doctors, not your “addictions counselors” – just “OURS”.

As Tradition States: ” Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. “ If you do not suffer from alcoholism or if you don’t want to recover – sorry, but bye bye . Let’s go fishing sometime – and we’ll talk about your food addiction – but right now I haven’t time to spare for it.

Someone else is dying from untreated alcoholism and the teaching and practicing the twelve steps for the benefit of the alcoholic – so he can RECOVER – is the SOLE purpose of the AA group and my primary purpose.

Peace,

Danny S

http://recoveredalcoholic.blogspot.com

"Instant Oldtimers"

What if you had stopped drinking without AA – say, ten twenty years ago, then walked into an AA meeting because you your shrink told you that it was a support group for alcoholics and the group therapy was free? You would be an INSTANT OLD TIMER!

I know some AAs who have done exactly this. They are some of the most despicable of “Meeting goers”.

They cannot truly be called AA’s – because in fact they are not – even if they say-so. They are interlopers.

AA membership is limited to alcoholics only and these types come to AA AFTER proving they do not NEED AA to recover. (Not to be confused with the right to attend AA meetings. EVERYONE is welcomed to attend OPEN AA meetings. We are talking about “membership” as per Tradition Three.*)

They have already solved their drinking problem – heavy & hard drinking, through human aid – something that real alcoholics cannot do.

No one as far as I know has EVER recovered from a malady they did not actually HAVE – and these types can’t recover from alcoholism because they haven’t GOT alcoholism. They cover THAT base by saying things like, “I’ll never recover because no one ever recovers”

- which of course is totally 180 degrees from what the Big Book says – and my experience as well.

They identify as “alcoholic” when all they are are people who drank too much – too often. Then they tell newcomers – some who may be real alcoholics – that they can “Put the plug in the jug” or that the solution is “Just don’t drink”. This of course is how they solved their particular kind of drinking problem but to the real alcoholic, this is a deadly bit of advice.

Real alcoholics cannot “just not drink” – if we did, we wouldn’t need the AAs twelve steps. Then to boot – since they don’t drink anymore, and have come into the fellowship with accumulated sober time – they masquerade as AA “Old-timer” with creditability unearned. Little men with big egos and and a place to go – despicable bastards they are! And in my view – sick, sick killers of us real McCoys.

That’s why it is so important for newcomers to be careful of who they listen to in meetings. Many people giving advice and “sharing” about how they “did it” are giving advice that will and DO KILL the real alkies like me. I’ve buried too many already.

There should be a fellowship created just for these types: AA2

Peace,

Danny S

* Tradition Three: “Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend on money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.”
® Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

"Instant Oldtimers"

What if you had stopped drinking without AA – say, ten twenty years ago, then walked into an AA meeting because you your shrink told you that it was a support group for alcoholics and the group therapy was free? You would be an INSTANT OLD TIMER!

I know some AAs who have done exactly this. They are some of the most despicable of “Meeting goers”.

They cannot truly be called AA’s – because in fact they are not – even if they say-so. They are interlopers.

AA membership is limited to alcoholics only and these types come to AA AFTER proving they do not NEED AA to recover. (Not to be confused with the right to attend AA meetings. EVERYONE is welcomed to attend OPEN AA meetings. We are talking about “membership” as per Tradition Three.*)

They have already solved their drinking problem – heavy & hard drinking, through human aid – something that real alcoholics cannot do.

No one as far as I know has EVER recovered from a malady they did not actually HAVE – and these types can’t recover from alcoholism because they haven’t GOT alcoholism. They cover THAT base by saying things like, “I’ll never recover because no one ever recovers”

- which of course is totally 180 degrees from what the Big Book says – and my experience as well.

They identify as “alcoholic” when all they are are people who drank too much – too often. Then they tell newcomers – some who may be real alcoholics – that they can “Put the plug in the jug” or that the solution is “Just don’t drink”. This of course is how they solved their particular kind of drinking problem but to the real alcoholic, this is a deadly bit of advice.

Real alcoholics cannot “just not drink” – if we did, we wouldn’t need the AAs twelve steps. Then to boot – since they don’t drink anymore, and have come into the fellowship with accumulated sober time – they masquerade as AA “Old-timer” with creditability unearned. Little men with big egos and and a place to go – despicable bastards they are! And in my view – sick, sick killers of us real McCoys.

That’s why it is so important for newcomers to be careful of who they listen to in meetings. Many people giving advice and “sharing” about how they “did it” are giving advice that will and DO KILL the real alkies like me. I’ve buried too many already.

There should be a fellowship created just for these types: AA2

Peace,

Danny S

* Tradition Three: “Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend on money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.”
® Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book "Nut"

There are lots of non-alcoholic people, heavy drinkers perhaps, who, for some strange reason, still insist that AA let them become members and go to meetings everyday.

Wait. Hold on. I promise to continue on that thought – but before I do let me explain something first.

I’m a Big Book “Nut” – the kind your “Middle of the Road solutions” based friends think you should stay away from – who thinks that our wonderfully spiritually volume contains the clear-cut directions with regard to AAs Program of recovery and the Fellowship as well.

I sometimes blog stuff here that are mere observations and experiences that I as a recovered alkie have had. If you aren’t doing what I am doing and living a design for living which I am living – then your expedience is recovery is probably going to be entirely different than mine. If you say you will NEVER recover – I BELIEVE YOU!

If you say you solved your drinking problem in a different way – I believe THAT TOO!

(There is a “complaint department” link to the left. I welcome your civil disagreements)

I have been blessed with incredible opportunities to speak from the podiums – and I do so on God’s time not my own. I have the time and I have the Big Book for the message – and for these reasons there is likely no sordid spot on this planet that I would not go to – in order to assist others in maintaining our Primary Purpose. (I get to go to nice places too.)

Similarly there is probably no account out of the past or present that I will not tell of and that includes mentioning some of the people with whom I used to drink. Not by name of course. But I use others stories and how they COMPARE (yes “compare”) with my own to show the difference between alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinking. Without that knowledge and ability to articulate it – I am useless because there can be no identifying.

With that said, now let me start up again.

Some of the people with whom I used to drink seemed at times obsessed (Mental obsession) with having a drink, yet could stop once taking it (Willpower). I conclude they have no allergy to alcohol. (Physical craving)

Then there were others who once the decided to take a drink, and took it, COULDN’T stop.

I concluded they may have HAD the allergy, but their decision to NOT take a drink or to TAKE a drink was their own. They sanely refrained from taking the first drink at times when it might be prove inconvenient or detrimental.

I, as a real alkie had suffered both the inability to NOT take the first drink COUPLED with not be able to stop, once I took it. That’s Our description of the alcoholic. Both conditions (mental & physical) need to be present in order to fit “our description of the alcoholic”, which to me is only description that counts and describes the person for whom our Program is designed.

I suppose it all hinges on whether or not you believe what our Big Book says about alcoholism.

A person who has the power of choice over whether or not he takes the first drink is NOT an alcoholic, even if he cannot stop once he takes the first drink. (Has the craving)…….And a person who has no choice over whether or not he takes a drink (Mental obsession) but IS able to stop on his own will, is ALSO NOT an alcoholic.

Either of these folks may have a problem with alcohol – but they are not alcoholics of the type for whom AA was created. This of course is according to the authors of our Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, not me. Although I do agree.

So now we are back again to all of those non-alcoholic people, heavy drinkers, who, for some reason still insist that AA allow them to called themselves members. AND WE DO IT! And they come to meetings everyday telling non-alcoholic experiences with their drinking AS IF it had something to do with alcoholism. And it doesn’t

They might have a problem with alcohol, but they don’t HAVE TO come to AA to solve it — but they do anyway — and they are firmly supported by those other non-alcoholics who have previously managed to squeeze their way into AA and wave that short form Tradition Three around to do it.

Peace,

Danny S