Mamaluke! Have You Done Your Chores Today?

Hey! What do you gotta do?

Let me tell you something. For years going to AA meetings was a chore for me. It was one of the thing I “HAD TO DO” like putting down the toilet seat in my house, taking out the trash, shaving, shopping, going to work, making sangweeches for my kids lunch. If I didn’t do any of these things then my life became unmanageable. (If you are married then you’ll agree with ALL of these.)

My fellowship goombas told me that “Lot’s of meetings” was one of the things I had to do to stay sober – for if I did not remain sober I could not enjoy life much. There was even the pressure of being clocked by others in meetings and by implied sober seniority “rules”

But when this “Design for living” (15:2 – 28:2 – 81:3) called “the Twelve Steps” actually becomes the LIVING part of our existence, then it’s all just one big ball of happiness, joy and wonderful, new freedom!!

When life becomes “Something I do in-between meetings” separating the AA Program from life – then both life AND meetings become chores. Why anyone would think that’s a good way to live – I just don’t know.

And that’s your DIRTY LITTLE AA SECRET! I know – don’t bullshit me pal! You are BORED in AA MEETINGS. They make you stoonad – you know it’s true.

So here’s the solution! I swear it is!

I get most of my guys right now from meetings – not all – but most. I get there early – I stay late. I circulate. I advertise. Prospecting IS promotion AND attraction. I leave the old misquoted sound byte for Tradition Eleven (Attraction not promotion) where it originates and belongs. (See: Can I Come Over?)

I let people know I am an active sponsor and always available. I hand out my little prospecting cards which tell folks I am available for work. I keep my eye out on the crowd and pretty much try not to groan out loud listening to the speaker. HA!

Yes, Joe and Jane middle-of-the-road solutions based AAers – you AND your sad-sack drunkologue is one big fucking bore to real alcoholics! They may excite non-alcoholics like those who thought James Frey’s story was “inspiring” – but not real McCoys. (see: Boring)

Sometime people come to meetings specifically looking for me. Sometimes I have to chase them down a bit. Someone like Cliff B may have to yell at me and tell me to get my ass down to the local Sally if find myself in a dry spell. And hurtin’

But I am always “WITH CHILD” when it comes to drunks with whom to work. THANK GOD!

AA as a Fellowship is not boring when I am using it as it was designed – as a society and supportive means of upholding our PRIMARY PURPOSE.

And if you are unable to do this, because you don’t work with others, or aren’t’ qualified to sponsor others because you haven’t recovered – then what the hell are you doing in AA meetings anyway? Drinking our coffee? Trying to screw our gals? Searching for a Goumada? Pleasing the spouse, the hardon with a suitcase, the boss or the courts?

Fine –then suffer!

As life throws its curves and bumps in front of me, there is no longer the urge to “Get to a meeting” to settle myself. I no longer get “Squirreley” if I miss a few days, or even a week of meetings. As far as I know, no one regularly characterizes me as a “serene” man. But certainly I do KNOW serenity, which is one of the hundreds of promises made to me by the authors or the Big Book provided I take other simple steps. (And in the case of “knowing serenity” – made my amends.)

If the lack of a meeting began to once again affect my serenity then I’d have to take a real serious look at my spiritual condition. Being dependent upon meetings to keep my head on straight doesn’t sound like very much freedom to me.

The joy in carrying our Primary Purpose into the Home group is the CURE for all meeting malaise. It works. I assure you. You won’t be watching the clock. You wont’ be staring at the pink thong sticking out of the jeans in the folding chair in front of you. (Well, maybe someday – after you walk on water), and you wont be making the mad dash through the parking lot to get to your car so you don’t miss The Sopranos. You may actually be useful!

Going to meetings to stay sober or so you don’t get mooshadda for another freakin‘ day is totally stoonad. It SUCKS EGGS! Going to meetings to be useful and to find another alcoholic to bring to God is a wonderful existence full of purpose and joy – not a chore.

Peace,

Danny S