Too "Suggestive"
WARNING: The graphics in this article may be too “Suggestive” unless you’ve shaped some sound and sane ideals and are growing toward them. 
There are four words used in the Big Book to describe to bring to the fore.
These are “Proposals” – “Rules” “Steps” and “Directions” – and of course the favorite of middle-of-the-roaders . . . “Suggestions.”
“Suggestions” is the favorite for a very good reason – it isn’t any of the others.
Read the others and I think you will see why.
- They suggest we follow the rules
- They suggest we follow the directions
- They suggest we take the steps
- They suggest we take what they propose (proposals)
. . . . .but only if we want to have a spiritual awakening as the result.
Most people sitting in AA meetings DON’T HAVE TO take the steps to solve their problem. They can just put the “Plug in the jug” – go to some Big Book reading sessions – pick up a few snappy quotes, maybe get an old Hazelden worksheet and fill out some inventory – or write their “Life’s story” to read to someone poor soul over coffee. Hell they might go so far as to make a few Long Distance phone calls (Is that “Any length?”) to tell some folks that “I am soooo sorry” for past behaviors – get all goose-bumpy and free from some guilt, and they are all set!! ready to go to meetings and tell everyone how they THINK it works.
They haven’t had a drink because they have had power over it all along – and now they feel justified in telling everyone in meetings that, “I HAVE DONE THE STEPS” - when that is an outright lie.
Knowing it’s a lie, knowing they have not recovered from alcoholism (“still recovering“) or really done the steps as laid out – they may even seek a little relief by adding something like, “To the best of my ability” to every instruction in the book. Dead giveaway.
Oh MAN! Talk about cop-out – about bullshit – about self-serving dishonesty.
Then they’ll go to meetings and tell a real alcoholic newcomer “If you want what I have – (Maybe a job and and a sex partner – that’s usually good enough to get the attention of a newcomer) then do what I did.” then SEND HIM HOME WHERE HE MIGHT DIE AT HIS OWN HAND OR FROM ALCOHOLIC DESTRUCTION.
Don’t you just love what we let slip by?
Peace,
Danny S
Too "Suggestive"
WARNING: The graphics in this article may be too “Suggestive” unless you’ve shaped some sound and sane ideals and are growing toward them.
There are four words used in the Big Book to describe to bring to the fore.
These are “Proposals” – “Rules” “Steps” and “Directions” – and of course the favorite of middle-of-the-roaders . . . “Suggestions.”
“Suggestions” is the favorite for a very good reason – it isn’t any of the others.
Read the others and I think you will see why.
- They suggest we follow the rules
- They suggest we follow the directions
- They suggest we take the steps
- They suggest we take what they propose (proposals)
. . . . .but only if we want to have a spiritual awakening as the result.
Most people sitting in AA meetings DON’T HAVE TO take the steps to solve their problem. They can just put the “Plug in the jug” – go to some Big Book reading sessions – pick up a few snappy quotes, maybe get an old Hazelden worksheet and fill out some inventory – or write their “Life’s story” to read to someone poor soul over coffee. Hell they might go so far as to make a few Long Distance phone calls (Is that “Any length?”) to tell some folks that “I am soooo sorry” for past behaviors – get all goose-bumpy and free from some guilt, and they are all set!! ready to go to meetings and tell everyone how they THINK it works.
They haven’t had a drink because they have had power over it all along – and now they feel justified in telling everyone in meetings that, “I HAVE DONE THE STEPS” - when that is an outright lie.
Knowing it’s a lie, knowing they have not recovered from alcoholism (“still recovering“) or really done the steps as laid out – they may even seek a little relief by adding something like, “To the best of my ability” to every instruction in the book. Dead giveaway.
Oh MAN! Talk about cop-out – about bullshit – about self-serving dishonesty.
Then they’ll go to meetings and tell a real alcoholic newcomer “If you want what I have – (Maybe a job and and a sex partner – that’s usually good enough to get the attention of a newcomer) then do what I did.” then SEND HIM HOME WHERE HE MIGHT DIE AT HIS OWN HAND OR FROM ALCOHOLIC DESTRUCTION.
Don’t you just love what we let slip by?
Peace,
Danny S
Suggestions
When I proposed to my wife – and she accepted – we were COMMITTED. I merely suggested that we commit ourselves for life and she took that suggestion.
Ok, so now here I come with one of my (Half-baked, some might say) theories. Bill’s very first reference in the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, to the STEPS, is “PROPOSAL”
It is followed, sequentially, by Bill referring to the STEPS as “Suggestions” alternating back and forth between these two words. A “Count” (Yes I have actually done it) gives similar weight to both in nearly perfect, alternating references.
Having spent several years as a newspaper Editor-in-Chief in NYC, I can recognize a definite “pattern” of deliberate editing here as the “proposals” and “suggestions” apparently alternate back and forth. Is this a coincidence? Perhaps.
But it is interesting that these two words also happen to be synonyms! We know Bill was taught to never use the same words twice in a row if he could avoid it.
As an experiment, when I replace the word “Suggestions” with “Proposals“, and visa versa, throughout the first 164 pages, the sentences NEVER lose their efficacy.
I have been “PROPOSING” 
for years that that Bill’s first inclination was to use the word PROPOSALS when referencing the Steps (Since he did) and LATER went back and edited in the word SUGGESTIONS in nearly ever OTHER appearance of the word for editorial reasons.
History would indicate it may have been in order to placate the group conscience of the “Armchair book editors” of his time to whom he was reporting during the multi-lith version, pre-publication meetings.
I cannot say for sure, but can anyone? Probably not. But my theory makes more editorial sense to me than some of the other conjecturing I have heard. To say that the word “suggestion” was used so as not to piss off drunks who hate to follow directions does not wash at all – since the rest of the book is FULL of MUSTS, REQUIREMENTS ect.
We do know from e
xperience that “Taking what we need and leaving the rest” in this serious business of recovery has been proved a bad idea. Fatal in many cases. But here is a good example of an instance where such a slogan may be sage advice, because it is a Danny theory and Danny’s brains definitely would never be Conference Approved. LOL
But I do know that any proposal accepted ceases being a proposal. A suggestion taken ceases to be a suggestion. Get it?
Peace,
Danny S
The Secret Promises of the Fellowship – Stop Drinking – Get Sex And Money
WARNING: The graphics in this article may be too “Suggestive” unless you’ve shaped some sound and sane ideals and are growing toward them.
There are four words used in the Big Book to describe to bring to the fore.
They are “Proposals” – “Rules” “Steps” and “Directions” – and of course the favorite of middle-of-the-roaders . . . “Suggestions.”
“Suggestions” is the favorite for one reason: It’s not any of the others!
Read the others and I think you will see why.
- They suggest we follow the rules
- They suggest we follow the directions
- They suggest we take the steps
- They suggest we take what they propose (proposals)
. . . . .but only if we want to have a spiritual awakening as the result.
Most people sitting in AA meetings DON’T HAVE TO take the steps to solve their problem. They can just put the plug in the jug, go to some Big Book reading sessions to pick up a few snappy quotes, maybe get an old Hazelden worksheet and fill out some inventory or write their “life’s story” and read it to someone over coffee – maybe even make a LD few phone calls to tell some folks that “I am sorry” for my past behaviors, get all goose-bumpy and free from some guilt – and they are all set!!
They haven’t had a drink, because they have had power over it all along, and they now feel justified in telling everyone in meetings that, “I HAVE DONE THE STEPS” - when that is an outright lie. Knowing it’s a lie, knowing they have not recovered from alcoholism or really done the steps as laid out, they may even seek a little relief by adding something like, “To the best of my ability”.
Oh MAN! Talk about cop-out, about bullshit – about self-serving dishonesty.
Then they’ll go to meetings and tell a real alcoholic newcomer “If you want what I have – (Maybe a job and and a sex partner – that’s usually good enough to get the attention of a newcomer) then do what I did.” AND THEY WILL SEND HIM HOME WHERE HE MIGHT DIE AT HIS OWN HAND OR FROM ALCOHOLIC DESTRUCTION.
Peace,
Danny S
Suggestion – Proposal
We all know why SUGGESTED was inserted into the text of Alcoholics Anonymous, but do we know HOW it was inserted. This is just a personal pet theory of mine, and I welcome holes being punched through it. But my logic stands with me for now.
In our Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, Steps One throughEleven, all references to these Steps use both the word PROPOSAL and SUGGESTION.
These two words carry the same meaning and are interchanged back and forth, alternating perfectly with each other. This reeks of Bill W.
Furthermore, in referring to the Steps, the word PROPOSAL appears FIRST, 5 pages before the word SUGGESTION is used in reference to the 12 Steps. From then on, clear through Step Eleven, these two synonyms alternate back and forth flawlessly.
It stands to reason that the first choice in describing the Steps was the word PROPOSAL, since it is the first to appear. It appears that someone (Bill?) went back and alternated the words so as not to have them appears twice consecutively.
It likely was Bill who would have done such a thing, from what we already know about his writing style. He does it ALL THROUGH the Big Book.
The word SUGGESTION has been seized upon for malleability. But PROPOSAL makes much more sense, even within context throughout our book.
Who The Hell Do You Think You Are?
Danny is a born and bred New Yorker, (1957) who grew up in “da Bronx”, New York City and has lived most of his life in the borough of Queens. He now lives on Cape Cod in Massachusetts with his wife Nancy and their two children, Danny Jr. and Kristen.
The Schwarzhoffs are a complete family unit enjoying emotional, mental and physical health and a harmonious lifestyle free from harmful stress. Both children are Honor Roll students in their schools, are socially active and well balanced in all areas of their lives. In July, 2011 the Schwarzhoffs celebrated their thirty second wedding anniversary.
He writes. He plays guitar. Danny was born May 7, 1957. His parents divorced when he was five and he is the product of an alcoholic family life visa vi his mother’s live-in boyfriend who was an alcoholic.Danny himself is an alcoholic. He refers to himself as a “Recovered alcoholic” – no longer suffering from the malady. He got sober for the first time in 1997 and then again in 1999. He has been sober since.He owns several popular and enduring blogs about alcoholism, meditation, recovery and the Twelve Step based solutions to life’s problems. For eight years standing, both Google and Yahoo have rated Danny as the number one, top rated “Recovered Alcoholic”.
He calls himself a “Real Live Recovered Alcoholic”; no longer suffering from the malady. Danny stopped drinking for the first time in 1997 and then again in 1999. He has been sober ever since. He has over thirty years experience with a special form of non-religious, spiritual meditation that he teaches and writes about in tandem with his unique style of carrying the Twelve Step message of recovery that emphasizes this unique meditation technique. He claim it is the missing link in Twelve Step Recovery and has devoted his life to delivering it to the world, beginning with the alcoholic.
Danny was first exposed to the meditation technique he prescribes when he was about five years old. It happened following a traumatic experience with his mother’s violent, alcoholic live-in boyfriend. In order to deal with the humiliation and resentment he experienced at the hands of this man Danny stumbled upon the technique – which he later recognized as meditation – in order to protect himself from the harms caused by that painful traumatic experience. He was able to dislocate his emotions much in the same way that the circus contortionist might dislocate a shoulder. Miraculously, when the experience was over he realized that he no longer hated the man for beating him.
Armed with his secret ‘gimmick’, life could never be quite the same. Then in his teen years he discontinued the mystic ‘dislocation’ practice and descended into the perverse world of active alcoholism, suffering mental and physical dysfunction for nearly two decades. Then in 1999 during a “white light” spiritual experience everything changed and he was able once again to ‘meditate’. He has never needed to look back. He continues to apply this method in all areas of life and has continued to enjoy mental, emotional and physical well-being as well as spiritual healthfulness. Now he teaches the technique to others principally through working with alcoholics who are attempting to go through the Twelve Step Recovery process.
Not only has Danny fully recovered from alcoholism and substance abuse but through this technique integrated into the Twelve Step process he has been able to overcome major depression, anxiety, smoking, onset type II diabetes, obesity, high cholesterol, sugar addiction, colitis, hemorrhoids, and even erectile dysfunction. His doctors have un-prescribed virtually all of the prescriptions he has been given in the past decade including Lipitor, TriCore, and ADD medications like Adderall as well as the antidepressant drugs Effexor, Welbutrin and Lexapro.
He first began writing in the mid 70s when he landed a job as publicist and advertising director for a Bronx produce company. He wrote advertising copy and press releases for the company and directed all of their marketing and promotion until 1982. After several years as a Lobbyist in Washing DC serving the United Fresh Fruit and Vegetable Association he left to start his own weekly tabloid newspaper where he was Editor-in Chief of “The Fruit & Vegetable Reporter.” He wrote most of the tabloids feature stories and much of the news copy. Danny has published articles in Grapevine, AA’s magazine for Alcoholics, and also in the Barnstable Patriot on Cape Cod.
The late 80s and 90s brought Danny to Wall Street in New York City when he became a stockbroker. One of his firms became the subject of the movie “Boiler Room” – a factoid which fuels much of his storytelling on the subject of alcoholism, spiritual dysfunction and substance abuse in the workplace. In the late 90s he moved to Cape Cod where he began writing, working with alcoholics, and breeding thoroughbred racing pigeons. He also began working for several rehab centers aiding addiction counselors with rehabilitating alcoholics and drug addicts.
Today Danny give regular public talks on alcoholism and recovery. He has conducted Twelve Step workshops at recovery conferences in Boston, New York and in Denmark as well as at Dartmouth College (UMASS).
Although frequently consulted by treatment facility administrators and those in the recovery business Danny does not affiliate with any treatment center or rehabs. He hasn’t got any recovery models to sell. He gives his meditation exercise away for free and only writes of his experience on the subject with one goal in mind. He wants to persuade others to try it and to experience an entire change of being and lifestyle through it. He is not an authority on any recovery methods or organizations, God, alcoholism or spirituality nor does he speak or write in representation of anyone but himself. He is not a member of any organized religion or cult and has no axe to grind. He does however express his experience and observations as a spiritually awakened and Recovered Alcoholic. He does not write as a form of “Twelve Step” work for Alcoholics Anonymous or as a form of therapy.
Biographic disclaimer: Sometimes the question of anonymity arises – along with the issue of whether or not Danny is a member of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). If Danny were a member of AA, he would violate AAs traditions by saying so publicly. He would also be lying if he were a member and denied it. So in order to respect that organizations traditions he does not answer that question publicly. However, Danny does want his readers to know that AA has earned his respect and he approves of AAs Twelve Step Program. He also does not think that AA has a monopoly on recovery from alcoholism and that AA is not for everyone. He has attended AA meetings and has done extensive research into its history and Twelve Step Program and is an ardent practitioner of the Twelve Steps. He writes about some of these observations regarding AAs Program, Fellowship and history.
Danny Schwarzhoff is a recovered alcoholic and a writer by trade. He is not an authority on ANY recovery methods or organizations, God, alcoholism or spirituality nor does he speak or write in representation of anyone but himself. He is not a member of any organized religion or cult and has no axe to grind. He does however express his experience and observations based upon that experience as a RECOVERED alcoholic. He does not write as a form of “twelve step” work for Alcoholics Anonymous. Please see the FAQ for more information.
By Nancy Lee Schwarzhoff
Personal Note: I am so grateful to have gotten my husband back. We have been married now for almost twenty-seven years. He became someone I no longer recognized; certainly not the wonderful guy I fell in love with; who made me laugh, who held doors for me, who was truthful and honest; who was going to go out into the world and make a difference – who loved me and didn’t mind showing it. I lost that guy, during the years that he drank. To anyone who has an alcoholic spouse I truly hope you find what my husband has stumbled into. The joy and serenity that has come back is truly a second chance for both of us.
I hope we all enjoy his new book. (He swears he will start looking for a publisher soon!) On the too few occasions that he gives me a few pages to read I end up laughing and crying all on the same page. (I am sure he does that on purpose, knowing him like I do) Then again I went through much of it. So much he never let me know about. He kept so much inside of him. He became secretive and I wondered “How could I have been so mistaken about him?” I questioned whether he loved me at all and what I did to cause him to turn the way he seemed to be. We had no idea what was happening to him. To us.
Even though Dan has been writing his whole life, this is his first attempt at a real book. When he started it a little over a year ago, I knew in my heart that it was something he should do and have been as supportive (through my fears) as I could. I was shocked when suddenly he said he had over 200,000 words written! How he did that, I don’t know. I guess there is still much I don’t know about him as a RECOVERED alcoholic. I am sure he would have started it and given up in our old life. Things are still changing for us everyday.
Although it may or may not be a best seller; it may not conform what to some people think they already know about alcoholics, I will tell you that it is all true and amazing to me. Even his new found recovered friends are just the most amazing, larger than life wonderful people I have ever met in my life. Believe it or not, even the still sick ones he brings here to the house, still drunk!
Danny gets some pretty heavily criticism for being so outspoken. I must say, he does have a knack for cutting to the chase. This bothers some people, especially other un-recovered drunks – who do not even know him past his writings. But if they can deal with their own sensitivities, as I have learned, they will find my husband to be a loving and generous man with a passion for sobriety like none we can imagine. And it is only because of sobriety that it shows. Again.
I know Danny’s talk. He certainly does not walk his own talk a hundred percent. He is far from being a saint. Not on your life! But he does seem to have a skill for catching it before too much harm can come of it. And he helps an awful lot of people. I do admire that in him. But do not ever let him tell you that he walks the talk twenty-four hours a day.
There are second chances in life, happiness, and family. It is waiting for you, inside of you. I hope you find it.
- Love Always, Nancy
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