Unwilling And Unable To Recover?

I run a little online Big Book Study group* and one of our members, Georgette from New York had this to say, “I wanted to use the word recovering so I could justify my slips by saying I am after all only a recovering person. I am not done, just more excuses. I have come to understand today that if I want what the BB says and I am willing to do the work, that I will be recovered one day at a time. And I will no longer debate the issue, only do the work. For that I am truly grateful. There is a lot to learn. And I learn from everyone.”

Still recovering? Or recovered. Which is preferable?

This idea and Georgette’s EXPERIENCE (Not her OPINION) clearly brings to the front of the class that perhaps not everyone WANTS to recover. I have been saying for years that not everyone who attends AA meetings CAN recover from alcoholism because not everyone one who attends AA meetings has GOT alcoholism.

No one can recover from an illness they haven’t got!

But what if someone like Georgette, a real alcoholic,who IS ACTUALLY AFFLICTED with alcoholism DOES NOT WANT TO RECOVER? What if someone WANTS to remain in charge of caring for their own life and their own will? (Behaviors and thoughts) What does that mean?

Well what that means is that we have someone who is refusing to turn life (behaviors) and will (thoughts) over to the God of ANYONE’S understanding – let alone their own understanding.

That must be some crappy place to live That is someone who is actually STUCK on Step Two – unable to make the decision of Step Three. (They will THINK they are stuck on Step Three because they THINK they are TAKING IT. But they haven’t even begun.)

Can you imagine taking Step One by identifying the humanly unsolvable problem – taking Step Two by being convinced that only God could solve that problem – and then staying right there? In THAT prison?

It must be a pure hell – to be stuck like a painted turtle on a rock in a stream – flailing its legs, unable to reach the nourishing waters that lap at it’s own shell – struggling in it’s own unnatural predicament.

I am not speaking of the heavy drinker who calls himself “Alcoholic” yet is not one and therefore is incapable of recovering from alcoholism. I am NOT talking about Middle-of-the Road mongers, the AA Fellowship hobbyist (“Don’t drink and go to meetings”) who are killing real alcoholics.

There are people, alcoholic or not, who cannot recover because the haven’t the capacity for honesty. That honesty dictates admitting ones own truth. Sometime that truth is “I AM in the wrong place”

- – like a hypochondriac who never gets well from the sicknesses which they have only
imagined – with which they are not really afflicted – with which they simply CANNOT or WILL NOT admit they haven’ t got — for whatever selfish reasons they may have.

I AM talking about real alkies, fitting “Our description of the alcoholic” (60:2) – not anyone else’s description or definition – who have not recovered and who live in a disturbingly degenerative world that is very different from that of someone who has experienced recovery. It is a place that can only be entered through the ages old iron gates of mental insanity – whereupon once entering one must adapt and survive on terrain so treacherous that only a tiny percentage of those who enter ever find the way back- alive.

They somehow live in that world – and as folks who HAVE found and grabbed onto the common solution we ought to remember what it was like for us – but not so that we do not drink. Remembering would not be enough to keep us from it. Recovered alkies ALREADY do not drink.

But we might want to remember it so we can muster a compassionate attitude for their deplorable situation.

For few if any of the un-recovered ever live long or happily.

These people have been unwilling and therefore unable to return from that bleak and hideous place – to become fully restored to their sanity.

They cannot reconstitute their lives or ever really begin the fairly tale ending of life’s journey of the recovered alcoholic, because thus far – while hope has been presented – the solution has not been grasped.

But there is more for us to do than for these hapless mutants than feel compassionate. We can express that compassion. We can offer them ourselves – a piece of our own heaven – and the occasional person who picks up the tools we lay at their feet will sometimes show us that the effort is well worth it. They are worth it. We can chase these folks like it’s part of our job description. It is.

Please have a little compassion for those who call themselves “Still recovering.” There is loving correction that will hold us in a position to remain helpful. We have been given the power to help others.

We CAN and must transmit what we DO have because it only on loan from a loving God.

Peace,

Danny S

* Primary Purpose BB Study Group On Line
Check it out.

A Free Dose Of Gratitude

Friends do I have your attention? GOOD.

Did you say you wanted more promises? You say the ninth step Promises are too far down the line to wait for? You say you need some concrete evidence that all this Step work is going to be worth YOUR PRECIOUS time.?

Well fear not friends because the co-authors of the Big Book have got you covered. For a limited time, and a limited time only,* they have got some promises for you right now, – right in Step Three.

Just look at these Promises in Step Three:

1) Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program. (On men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves). (58:1)

2) The result was nil until we let go absolutely. (From
trying to hold on to our old ideas) (58:3)

3) Without help it is too much for us. (On letting
go completely) (59:0)

4) But there is One who has all power-that One is God. (59:0)

5) Half measures availed us nothing. (59:1)

6) No one among us has been able to maintain anything
like perfect adherence to these principles. (60:1)

7) We were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. (60:2)

8) Probably no human power could have relieved our
alcoholism. (60:2)

9) God could and would if He were sought. (60:2)

10) Any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. (60:4)

11) On that basis we are almost always in collision
with something or somebody, even though our motives
are good. (By running life on self-will) (60:4)

12) That, we think, is the root of our troubles. (On
Selfishness-self-centeredness) (62:1)

13) Our troubles, we think, are basically of our own
making. (62:2)

14) Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of
this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! (62:2)

15) God makes that possible.(Getting rid of selfishness)(62:2)

16) There often seems no way of entirely getting rid of
self without His aid. (62:2)

17) Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much
by wishing or trying on our own power. (62:2)

18) We had to have God’s help. (On reducing
self-centeredness much) (62:2)

19) We had to quit playing God. It didn’t work (62:3)

But that’s not all friends!

Take step three TODAY - before midnight tonight – and receive a free, that’s right – A FREE dose of gratitude. (I strongly suggest you do so on your knees – with your sponsor and use the Third Step prayer.)

Now you don’t have to wait till Step 9 for some amazement in your life. With step three you can start amazing your friends and amazing your family too, starting today.* Don’t let the slogan spouting, ten meeting a week going, jug plugging, not just not drinking today – easy does it, middle-of-the-road solutions based fellowshippers dissuade you!

Operators are standing by.**

Peace,

Danny S

* Offer expires if Step 4 is not begun immediately.

** Operators are sponsors who have experienced these same promises by having turned THEIR lives and wills over the care of God. Use of Light bulbs, doorknobs and other earthly objects will invalidate this offer. Offer void where prohibited by dishonesty.

How Do You "Take" a Third Step?

The idea of kneeling when taking a Third Step comes from historical knowledge of how they did it back then – not the Big Book.

I think it’s kind of neat as I think all prayers on ones knee’s are – because it gives me a psychological and emotional placement of submission and humility to the God of my understanding – which puts me into a place were the act evolves into a spiritual surrender in the moment.

I’ve had guys who would not kneel, only less than a handful – maybe 2 or 3 – and perhaps an equal number of guys who have refused altogether. I kneel. We also read together the passage to which your refer. They are aware of the options from that reading.

I get one my knees and say MY Third Step prayer first to demonstrate – which has changed considerably over the years – expressing the same idea.

Then I offer the opportunity to do the same, together. If the newcomer has been convinced of our hopelessness and powerlessness and that God could restore sanity (Steps 1 & 2 are what removes any reservations there may have been previously) most guys leap at the chance at this stage. Since they have no third step prayer of their own, we simply do it straight out of the book then — “Voicing” (63:2) the prayer out loud.

My Sponsor did the same with me. He’s been know to freak-out an entire group by doing this in meetings when it came his time to “share” on step three. He’s in his mid 80’s so no one gives him too much guff. He’s earned his brass.

He wrote it out for me longhand one day and it takes up a whole side of a legal pad – LOL – but it’s a sweet and humbling prayer – (Expressing the same idea, personalized for him, as mine has come to be)

We once did it not long ago in a Dunkin Donuts men’s room – when someone walked in – we were in the stall. They guy took one look at the four knees on the floor and walked straight back out! I am sure the first thing that came to that guys mind was NOT that there were two guys praying in there.

But I am from New York City and believe me it could have been worse – he might have tried to join us!

But we have done it in parking lots, on the side of the road, men’s’ rooms, back rooms of church basements – whenever the mood and readiness was ripe. Strike while the iron’s hot, I say.

I can do it standing on my head if I want, no? I may try that one day. Maybe it’s set it deeper into the brain that way. What with gravity and all that empty space in there.

Peace,

Danny S