Skulls Crack

Trying To Define Alcoholism

I get to read a lot of articles about “alcoholism”. People send them to me mostly. Others come through a clipping service I employ. There are articles about this discovery and that discovery – about this genetic cause for alcoholism or that medication being studied for treatment purposes.

I have learned to take these, not with grains of salt, but with handfuls of the hard rock variety – the kind you toss on your doorsteps in February so you don’t slip and crack your skull wide opened.

That is what it feels like after I read too many of these things. My brain hurts at times. It is hard to form an intelligent opinion on much of this stuff that floats around out there on news-wires and broadcasts since none of “us” – people interested in others with alcohol problems – ever seem to be on the same page when describing or thinking about “alcoholism.”

Some call it a “dependence” some call it an “addiction” some call it “substance abuse” and then there are a dozen or more different ways of describing “alcoholism” itself – with no one agreeing on one idea or describing it at all.

The world is all over the map with no one agreeing on just what is alcoholism. AA described it for their purposes over seventy years ago and now the “for fee” industry is expanding that to widening definitions to include a broader based “paying” markets – for its own profit making purposes. Some might say they are “hijacking” for revision the “description of the alcoholic” – I guess that depends on your perspective.

When it comes to alcoholism I’m a pure AA man myself. I go with what is described in their book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” the book from which the Fellowship derives it’s name. That’s what I use cause that’s what I got – and I hang with people who got what I got! Then, when I did what the co-authors did I also Got what hey got – I got a spiritual awakening and consequentially all of my problems were solves – EVEN INCURABLE ALCOHOLISM! I am equally convinced that diseases like cancer diabetes and heart disease can also be resolved through such awakenings.

I have experienced relief from chronic colitis, diverticular disease, high blood lipids, depression, anxiety, advanced arthritis and even financial problems and the dreaded “FEAR OF FINANCIAL INSECURITY” – all as the result of spiritual awakenings and spiritual growth. My kids are well adjusted and emotionally secure. My relationship with my wife is healthy and we are happy. Our home bursts with jocularity and contentment when we are all together – like a circus tent. No one is ill – no one is sick – there is no fighting or yelling or screaming beyond an occasion misunderstanding – and even then anger is never a problem. These are not hearsay ‘wonders’ to me. These are problems that a loving God has solved and gifts that He has given to and for us so that we could become useful on this planet. At least I am convinced that that is why He did it. It certainly is not because I deserve it for my saintly lifestyle.

Here is another “cool” thang . . . . . I am not afraid to tell you about any of it. I have no fear that I will ‘jinx’ it if I do – as if these things are because of sort of fairy’s charm and if the fairy hears me talk about it she’ll snap it away from us. Or because some tricky god up there will interpret my story as exhibiting braggadocio and egotism – so therefore I must be taught a lesson and be stricken with financial ruin and disease and drinking. I am not afraid that the “other shoe” will drop – because we have faith – faith in a LOVING GOD, not in some ogre in the sky just waiting for us to slip up so he can yank our happiness away – give us cancer and force us into fear of financial insecurity.

See?

This is ALL from having a spiritual awakening as the result of the steps. They are not from “Doin’ another AWOL” – Jeeeze do you AWOL people ever freakin recover or ever even come out here into the trenches to twelve step other alkies? They are not from “One Day at A Time” either. They are not because I “Just don’t drink.” and they sure as shit aren’t from “Going to lots of meetings”.

It all began when first I learned to concede to my innermost self that I was alcoholic. But how could I ever have done that if I did not now what alcoholisms is – how hopeless the solution without divine intervention? I cannot. I can run around yelling, “I AM AN ALCOHOLIC” all I want – but if I use any description other than the one, the AA one, which depicts hopelessness then I will always have some hope – call it “the lurking notion” - that I can “share” my way out – ‘doctor’ my way out – ‘rehab my way out’ or use my self-will as in “JUST DON’T DRINK”. All of these mean that I think that I have Power over alcohol and if any of these work – then I DO – and don’t need a spiritual awakening to get in touch with God so He can hand His power over to flow through me and remove the problem – ALL my problems.

When some journalist or doctor is writing his findings or opinions about what he calls alcoholism – it may or may not — probably not — apply to anything that I know to be what I got.

Even within the fellowship itself – we have so many folks with outside ideas, brought in from their rehab adventures of what alcoholism is that are so completely foreign to AA’s “description of the alcoholic” that they must steer clear of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous or else undergo such a severe cases of Cognitive Dissonance I doubt that the county’s mental health system could bear the load if they all would seek help at one time.

This is so predominant that hardly anyone in AA’s own membership can tell you if asked what “Our description of the alcoholic” actually is. Which means that they cannot help other alcoholics do anything even close to recovering.

For what description has the AA Fellowship developed a Program? I can tell you that it most likely is not the description you were given by your friendly counselor in at the detox center. For the most part – AAs description of the alcoholic is bad for business if you are in the treatment business. AA s description automatically eliminates a solution through human aid – and the treatment industry and “addictions” counselors are in the business of providing human aid.

Haven’t you ever wondered why it is that you were more confused about AA and the Twelve Steps after you got out of rehab than when you first went in? It’s true isn’t it? You’re damned right it is – and that is no accident.

If, as your Big Book explains, you have “ passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid” (25:3) then those who provide such human aid cannot be included in your recovery which means that you are not a source of money to them.

Do you see now how important it is for the treatment industry to REDEFINE alcoholism – to take it back from Alcoholics Anonymous – and how if they do not then they have no industry?

If I fit Dr. Phil’s idea of alcoholism don’t you think that I might do well to pursue the Dr. Phil’s solution? I think so. If I fit AA’s idea of alcoholism does it not make sense to reject Dr. Drew Pinky’s concepts and pursue AA’s solution?

Shouldn’t I find out who’s description I fit so that I can seek help from the appropriate person or organization?

How can I ever have an intelligent conversation with someone say, Dr. Drew, if he thinks that alcoholism is determined by consequences of drinking – he does - and I think it is a mental obsession combined with a physical allergy? We cannot have that conversation – we would both be hitting our heads against each others – getting nowhere.

Let’s use the tiniest bit of common sense here, all right? If Dr. Drew prescribes ten hours a week of psycho therapy and anger management for my alcoholism and THAT WORKS – then what the hell do I need a AA for? And if AA prescribes a spiritual awakening as the result of the steps – wouldn’t I be foolish to ignore that and instead follow Dr. Phil’s advice? I will be told that I need AA for “group support” because that’s what AA is turned into. It is no longer a spiritual entity the sole purpose of which is “sobriety: Freedom from alcohol through the teaching and practice of the twelve steps.” it is now feeling “Happy joyous and free” through “sharing”. Apparently there are folks out there who if they are happy enough, joyous enough and free enough then they “Just wont drink”. WOW. I wish I could do that.

My solution would have been “Just join the circus.” What a clown I’ d have made.

No one is on the same page when it comes to describing alcoholism. Alcoholic Anonymous uses a very specific description and has a program designed to treat that description. It may not be designed to treat your type of drinking problem. Not everyone who has a drinking problem is going to fit AAs description of the alcoholic.

Not sure what AA’s “our description of the alcoholic” is? It is on pages one through 43 of the book, “Alcoholics Anonymous”. Maybe it would be an intelligent thing to do – to learn it - before saying “I am an alcoholic” in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous – unless you know what that means.

Peace,

Danny S

PS – Have you ever noticed that the co-authors of the Big Book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” never say that they have “defined” alcoholism – only that they “describe” it? In fact they offer no definitions of anything!

Do you know why that is? I think that we can see why that is – and fairly easily too. More on that exact topic later next week.

Google for God

Sometimes the course of least resistance is the path taken by an alcoholic who continues to relapse.

All that “God stuff” is hard to take, and along comes someone to tell him, “Hey you can worry about all that God and step stuff later on. Right now just keep coming and everything will be all right”.

And so the relapsing continues and the suffering continues despite meeting and meeting after meeting.

Bill and Bob themselves once said to Henrietta Sieberling, “Henrietta, I don’t think we should talk too much about religion or God.”

She told them, “Well, we’re not out to please the alcoholics. They have been pleasing themselves all these years. We are out to please God. And if you don’t talk about what God does, and your faith, and your guidance, then you might as well be the Rotary Club or something like that. Because God is your only source of power.” And finally they agreed. And they weren’t afraid any more. It is my great hope that they will never be afraid to acknowledge God and what he has done for them.”

The God issue was carefully avoided and THEY NEVER EVEN GOT OUT OF THE STARTING GATE!

Is that wild? So how can a sick puking hopeless alcoholic find the answer to his problem?

GOOGLE?

SPONSORSHIP! That’s how — Sponsorship executed by a recovered alcoholic armed with the facts about himself and who explain what he knows about alcoholism – who has had a spiritual awakening as the result of the twelve steps. One alcoholic talking to another alcoholic. Not One alcohols talking to a room of a hundred drunks. Not one knuckle headed Irishman with a penchant for writing who happens to have a Blog. JUST ONE on ONE!

THAT’S HOW. It’s called Twelve Stepping and it IS THE foundation base of sponsorship. And of you’ve been taught that “taking phone calls” before someone drinks, or driving license-less drunks to meetings – acting as an amateur psychologist or “Life Coach” and tossing out fellowship slogans from your mental list was sponsorship – Then I’ll ask you this?

How many alcoholics have you harmed or maybe even killed lately?*

Peace,

Danny S

* Yeah I know. “I don’t have that kind of power.” Right! If that makes you feel better – stick with it.

How To Give Hope

This fellow, a chronic relapser and Alcoholic number three (Bill & Bobs first prospect.) was hit with the procedure we know works well – even today. He doesn’t know it yet, but he will never have another drink as long as lives and had experienced his last relapse.

Two days later, a future fellow of Alcoholics Anonymous stared glassily at the strangers beside his bed. “Who are you fellows, and why this private room? I was always in a ward before.”

Bill Dodson is the fellow. He is in St Thomas Hospital in Akron- the year 1939 Sr Ignatia had to label his condition as acute gastritis; but we know what his real problem was. (She did this a lot) He had been hastily put up into what was known as “The Flower Room” which was usually reserved for dead patients awaiting pickup by the city coroners office. Not exactly hope inspiring for our friend. “why this private room?”

But Bill & Bob wanted to get him alone.

“Call on him while he is still jittery. He may be more receptive when depressed. See your man alone, if possible.” (91:3)

If you have ever had to Twelve Step someone with other folks present, then you know how distracting that situation can be – especially when spectators (Like family or friends or even other MOTR AAs) have so much useless information on what they THINK should be done. (“He needs to be in “soberhouse“. “He needs a good couselor.” “He needs to be in a rehab.”) Talk about God does NOT often elicit a positive response right away and when we twelve step THAT is what we are there to do – to talk about God.

Said one of the visitors, “We’re giving you a treatment for alcoholism.”

Of course there is no “treatment” for alcoholism, not a human treatment anyway. They were there to convince our man to let God “treat” him.

“Hopelessness was written large on the man’s face as he replied, “Oh, but that’s no use. Nothing would fix me. I’m a goner. The last three times, I got drunk on the way home from here. I’m afraid to go out the door. I can’t understand it.”

If he WANTED to drink he could probably “understand” it – but Bill D. wanted to “NOT DRINK” – yet picked up immediately after being “treated” by human hands in a detox setting.

This is typical today as well – more historical evidence that flies in the face of “Just don’t drink”. Real alcoholics can’t do it. If they could do that, they wouldn’t be really alcoholic because it would mean that they already HAVE POWER over alcohol – their own power. Will power.

“ For an hour, the two friends told him about their drinking experiences. Over and over, he would say: “That’s me. That’s me. I drink like that.”

Do you think they talked about their silly and horrific episodes, their drunkologues? Maybe – just a little. But whenever we hear a Twelve Stepper’s account of this part of the process in the Big Book it is always characterized as “We told him what we knew about alcoholism.” When we do that, woven into our tales, we have identification with a real alkie. The horrific consequences of over-drinking on a spree too often does not jive with the experiences of another alcoholic.

Not all alcoholics have lost their families, their jobs, their drivers licenses – but ALL alcoholics drink even when they don’t want to and experience craving once they start. THOSE are the common experiences that we convey in “What we know about alcoholism”. We embed these into our stories – we are STORYTELLERS but without a purpose, our stories are nothing but entertaining at best and dry air at worst.

Leave those two elements out, and we might be good story tellers, we might even get a few folks to cry out loud just listening – or laugh and say, “Nice fellow/gal”, but we make LOUSY twelve steppers and are useless in the Fellowship.

“The man in the bed was told of the acute poisoning from which he suffered, how it deteriorates the body of an alcoholic and warps his mind. There was much talk about the mental state preceding the first drink.”

Deterioration of the body, poisoning and mind warp (Can you say “CRAVING & PHYSICAL ALLERGY?) And the mental state preceding the first drink. (Insane obsession.)

THIS IS WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT ALCOHOLISM!

An alcoholic may get a giggle from my story – about the time I puked into my briefcase on the No. 1&9 subway on my way home from work – but he really doesn’t give a crumb about it because he never did THAT! But a sory that depicts obsession and craving? THAT he’ll recognize! IF HE IS A REAL ALCOHOLIC! (In a meeting and if he’s not, he’ll be dissapponted that you’ve failed to entertain him)

“Yes, that’s me,” said the sick man, “the very image. You fellows know your stuff all right, but I don’t see what good it’ll do. You fellows are somebody. I was once, but I’m a nobody now. From what you tell me, I know more than ever I can’t stop.”

WOW! Imagine admitting powerlessness in a simple conversation? No writing! No classes! No pledge of allegiance to a sponsor or a fellowship or even God. No committment to do a “90 in 90″. Just one alcoholic talking to another. THAT’S how it was done!

“At this both the visitors burst into a laugh. Said the future Fellow Anonymous: “Damn little to laugh about that I can see.”

The knew they had succeeded. When a man admits powerlessness over alcohol – hopelessness – as Bill D just did, it IS cause to smile! What a joy! Progress at last! We know that alcoholism only SEEMS hopeless and we can now tell our prospect the good news:

The two friends spoke of their spiritual experience and told him about the course of action they carried out. (157:1)

They told him about the STEPS (Or in this case the Oxford stuff which later became the steps) AND they told him what the result of those steps was A SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE!

Peace,

Danny S