Sexual Autopilot

The “imperious urge” does not come as an option – it comes in the base human package, like it or not. In speaking for myself, as a man, I find that this is because of the visceral nature of sexuality – a God given instinct which for the most part seems to be on “autopilot”.

At times we may not even like it, but there it is – swelling up and getting in the way. – altering thoughts and MAYBE even behaviors. The “saving” grace is that , “If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson.” (70:1)

This idea is not given by the co-authors as their directions of handling PAST sexual behaviors – but in confronting continuing behaviors even as we go forward on this journey.

There will be those to interject saying this was Bill’s way of allowing for his own current sexual transgressions. I don’t think they are being honest about themselves.

How many of us are one hundred percent free and clear of all sexual temptations and self-centered behaviors with the opposite sex? But many of us ARE continuing to become more and more free from the behaviors in which we used to indulge.

It is one thing to not rob banks anymore – or not steal pencils from work or not being deceitful, gossipy or retaliatory in dealing with others because we have changed. It is another thing to perfectly adhere to our sane and sound sex ideal in human sexual relationships – that is something we are supposed to GROW toward. Can we indulge in one of our favorite character defects, sipping ginger ales at the bar of a strip club – while claiming to be “practicing these principles in all our affairs?” Your answer SHOULD be, “You’re kidding me, right?” And of course I am.

So what if we are NOT sorry and continue to give in to the “urge”? That is the “other half” of the truth about whether or not we may drink again. Then I have to be damned sure that I have a sound and sane ideal I can grow toward. Not some vague idea – but a consciously acknowledgeable “set” of ideals that I was instructed to set in Step Four.

Peace,

Danny S

Sex Myth or Fact?

According to the story: The Big Book directions and discussion of the “sex inventory” begins on page “69”. This was a practical joke by either Bill Wilson or the someone else meant to amuse themselves or us readers.I don’t want to get too graphic but for the benefit of you guys in Asia who may not know – we Americans have a “thing” about “69″ . It is a reference to the 6 becoming a 9 when it is rotated 180 degrees. Similarly when ones sexual partner’s body is rotated by this angle it becomes possible for two partners to orally stimulate each other’s genitals simultaneously. Hence the “69″ sexual position. Nuff said.

Now . . . .

This MYTH is BUSTED!

The truth is: The Big Book directions and discussion of the “sex inventory” begins on page “68″ – NOT page “69″.

However I do know of someone who did think that the sex section began on page 69. In her home group there was a sponsorless woman in her early 30s who had in gone through a nasty divorce and over the course of several months of dumping her “love life” problems in the meetings, my friend decided to approach the young woman and offer her some guidance.

She said, “Honey, sharing your love life and sex desires in an AA meeting isn’t really appropriate – especially since you never know whose attending an open meeting. There could be predators and such. No one needs to know-how horny you are.”

“Your right” said the young girl. “But what am I to do? I don’t have anyone I can vent with to except the people in this meeting. I’ll burst!”

“Look, you’ve had this problem for months. You may not want me to sponsor you – but I am willing to speak to you. Call me when you need to share issues not pertaining to alcohol and recovery. OK?”

“Ok. Thanks” and she started to walk away.

“Oh wait a second! The new sponsor called out to her. “Starting reading page 69 tonight. In the Big Book. It will help answer all of your sex questions about men.”

Thanks. I will. The young call said and gave a girly wave and left.

Unfortunately it turned out that she was very dyslexic although never saw a need to bring it up to anyone in the Fellowship. When she got home, the young woman pulled her Big Book off of it shelf and turned not to page 69 but to 96.

If you’d like to know what information she received out the Big Book about her sexual problems with men. Go read it. I’m not telling.

But if you are reading this at work and have no access to your Big Book – try the below link. (I really shouldn’t do this. You should have a Big Book around, ya know.)

READ 96

Peace,

Danny S

Sex Myth or Fact?

According to the story: The Big Book directions and discussion of the “sex inventory” begins on page “69”. This was a practical joke by either Bill Wilson or the someone else meant to amuse themselves or us readers.I don’t want to get too graphic but for the benefit of you guys in Asia who may not know – we Americans have a “thing” about “69″ . It is a reference to the 6 becoming a 9 when it is rotated 180 degrees. Similarly when ones sexual partner’s body is rotated by this angle it becomes possible for two partners to orally stimulate each other’s genitals simultaneously. Hence the “69″ sexual position. Nuff said.

Now . . . .

This MYTH is BUSTED!

The truth is: The Big Book directions and discussion of the “sex inventory” begins on page “68″ – NOT page “69″.

However I do know of someone who did think that the sex section began on page 69. In her home group there was a sponsorless woman in her early 30s who had in gone through a nasty divorce and over the course of several months of dumping her “love life” problems in the meetings, my friend decided to approach the young woman and offer her some guidance.

She said, “Honey, sharing your love life and sex desires in an AA meeting isn’t really appropriate – especially since you never know whose attending an open meeting. There could be predators and such. No one needs to know-how horny you are.”

“Your right” said the young girl. “But what am I to do? I don’t have anyone I can vent with to except the people in this meeting. I’ll burst!”

“Look, you’ve had this problem for months. You may not want me to sponsor you – but I am willing to speak to you. Call me when you need to share issues not pertaining to alcohol and recovery. OK?”

“Ok. Thanks” and she started to walk away.

“Oh wait a second! The new sponsor called out to her. “Starting reading page 69 tonight. In the Big Book. It will help answer all of your sex questions about men.”

Thanks. I will. The young call said and gave a girly wave and left.

Unfortunately it turned out that she was very dyslexic although never saw a need to bring it up to anyone in the Fellowship. When she got home, the young woman pulled her Big Book off of it shelf and turned not to page 69 but to 96.

If you’d like to know what information she received out the Big Book about her sexual problems with men. Go read it. I’m not telling.

But if you are reading this at work and have no access to your Big Book – try the below link. (I really shouldn’t do this. You should have a Big Book around, ya know.)

READ 96

Peace,

Danny S