Screw U

I do not like it. The co-founders did not like it. Maybe you do not like it. But apparently many folks LOVE it.

What am I talking about is – pronouncing that just about anyone with a “Drinking problem” in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous is alcoholic.

“We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself.” (31:3)

To announce is to make known publicly; to pronounce is to declare officially or formally.

Yet isn’t that exactly what we do when we tell someone “You’re in the right place” or “No one gets here by accident.”

If you think that EVERYBODY who enters that church basement is an alcoholic and in the right place – then you are out of your gourd and may have some some “problems” other than alcoholism – like maybe someone gave you a lobotomy in your sleep one night. I have buried too many drug addicts in the last ten years and seen too many “members” who can “Put the plug in the jug” on their own.

There are reasons why the co-authors tell us that they don’t like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic – and once we start doing what they did we can see it too. They did not just pull these ideas out of the asses and write into a book, you know.

The Big Book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” is EXPERIENCE based – not OPINION based.

Too many of us do not bother to Twelve Step others and never experience and see some much in book for ourselves – operating in our own lives as we resume our lives in new and helpful ways.

First, unless he’s been taken through Step One he wont’ believe you if in your opinion he is a real alcoholic – even if YOU DO believe it. Why should he be interested your opinions anyway – people have been giving this guy resentments and troubles by telling him their opinions about him for years anyway. “Fuck you and your solution!”

What will you do then, repeat yourself? Say it louder? Carve it into his belly with a penknife? Take out a full page ad in the New York Times? Besides, what do most newcomers say anyway?

They say, “OH I KNOW that I am an alcoholic!”

“Oh really? OK pal -tell me what alcoholism is.” – and he won’t even come close. He will not tell you about the obsession combined with t he allergy nor describe those condition operative in his drinking history. He can’t explain alcoholic powerlessness – unmanageably – that even faintly resembles “what we know about alcoholism” .

How could he? You haven’t taken him through Step One yet – the other side of which he can emerge knowledgeable about “our description of the alcoholic” and see that he either fits or not. Why do you think and Twelve Step call requires you telling YOUR story to him? It isn’t because you’re so freakin‘ interesting. Anyone who IS NOT and alcoholic wouldn’t understand what the hell you are talking about – like most people in meetings can’t either.

“Show him your copy of this book and tell him what you have found out about alcoholism.” (112:4)

If all you have “found out” is that “One drink is too many . . . . blah blah blah” . . . . sorry, but a real alcohol will instantly sense how full of hot steaming shit your are and you can pretty much just tell him, “Call me before you drink” – then pat yourself on the back for being such a “helpful” AA – then go home and catch another broadcast of “Survivor“. Maybe someone will be moved to clue him in to what a complete dead weight asshole you are in the Fellowship and get him through the first few steps before YOU even get to another meeting – if he’s lucky.

The most important reason that we like SELF DIAGNOSIS is that when we rob him of the self-discovery element we also thwart the power of the inner conclusion necessary – we may prevent or delay his ability to take Step One.

“We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.” (30:1)

This is where the “professionals” of the “Addictions” business have rejected this LEARNING and so fail to make any inroads – and why the recovered alcoholics (Not you recoverING guys, sorry.) of Alcoholics Anonymous – we who eschew POP AA in favor of practicing these principles are presently and will continue to be the real professionals in the field. “We have been given the power to help others.” (132:2) We can help when NO ONE ELSE can.

Nobody. Not the church – not a religion – not the rehab – not the Doctor – the counselor – or the Santero in the back-room of La Botanica. Only “WE” can “secure their confidence when others fail.” (89:0) – and many of these other “professionals” will spit like snakes when we get come around to take another one to God. That’s their problem if they want to do this for money.

There is an awful lot of such “Pronouncement” going on for a Fellowship that claims it shouldn’t be avoiding. Maybe we can just give out “Screw U” medallions instead of twenty four hour or “Desire” chips.

Eleven years ago when I first stepped into “the rooms” in Little Neck-Douglaston, Queens, New York City, the first people I met were frank. They said things like, “I don’t know if you are alcoholic or not.” and “Only you can make that determination” – and one fellow, Barry G, explained to me just how the co-authors or the Big Book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” went about it for themselves and had developed something they called “Our description of the alcoholic”.

He let ME in on it – by telling me what he knew about alcoholism – what he had learned from the Big Book and found to apply to his situation.

If I search out another alcoholic to work with and start off first by telling him that he IS alcoholic without knowing much about his history – except that he has utterly destroyed his life and the lives of his loved ones by being a booze bagged asshole – and use THAT information alone in order to qualify and recruit him into the Fellowship created for real alcoholics – attracting him with my friendship and a promise that he will “Not be alone anymore” – he is screwed!

Even worse, I have also screwed the Fellowship and the millions of others who would depend upon Primary Purpose now and in the future. Not being alone anymore is good. Friendship is good. Being able to “open up” to another human being is good. But that is NOT our purpose.

“Sobriety—the freedom from alcohol—through the teaching and practicing of the twelve steps is the sole purpose of an AA group.” Bill W

A few months ago I was at a meeting where some guy, in the middle of his “sharing” looked across the room at a “first-timer” and said, “I never met you before. But I KNOW that you are an alcoholic!”

He KNOWS! I had to strain my head to see the guy. I thought maybe Criss Angel or The Amazing Kreskin and come to visit the Group. But the guy was about as magical as the Amazing Carnac.

What someone who has recovered and who is armed with the facts about his or her OWN alcoholism is qualified to do is to show someone – ANYONE – what those two conditions are. It is up to them then to see if the shoe fits – not anyone else. You are the only one with the intimate knowledge of your own past, necessary to make such a determination. We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic because when we do – WE CAN FUCK IT UP!

That can result in non-alcoholics believing themselves alcoholics and even real alcoholics calling themselves alcoholics but not knowing why it is.

We rob them BOTH of the deep inner recognition of the malady or absence of the malady – within ones self. He cannot decide if he belongs or not – not to inner most self anyway.

Have you ever suggested to someone that maybe they are NOT alcoholic? Sometimes you’ll hear back, “Don’t say that. My sick brain can convince me that maybe I am not and then I’ll drink”. Hey, did you just hear that? Listen. I just heard a coo-coo go off somewhere. This is someone who has NOT yet taken step one. I don’t care what they say or what their sponsor says – they haven’t done it – and if they have the conclusion was that they DON’T FIT – but now they don’t want to leave the fellowship.

What someone who had NEVER recovered, doesn’t intend to EVER recover, but plans to attend AA meetings for the foreseeable future – who is armed with misinformation about alcoholism shows up and tells the poor slob who just got his third DWI conviction and has lost his job that he IS alcoholic – he’s armed all right. He is armed with a grenade of ignorance – pin pulled – and if he grabs onto that newcomer yelling hit the deck that newcomer wont’ even have a chance to kiss his poor ass bye bye.

If he is NOT an alcoholic but some poor guy who has managed to drink himself to ruin and near death (All alcoholics are assholes – but not all assholes are alcoholic) he will call himself alcoholic but not knowing why it is.

We rob him of the deep inner recognition of the malady within ones self

- and THAT in the long run makes for poor sponsorship in AA and widespread ignorance about the malady within and outside of that fellowship – because there is a lack of ability in explaining alcoholism to the newcomer who needs to know.

If you do not Twelve Step other alcoholics or if you have limited or no experience working with sick, pukestank alkies – or you do not fit “Our description of the alcoholic” in the Big Book and therefore aren’t’ “one of us” and so believe that anyone with desire to stop drinking can become a member of Alcoholics Anonymous even if he is not alcoholic – then this idea will probably buzz low across your roof and keep going. You can’t afford to understand it.

But let me ask you this: How many alcoholics would you say you have directly killed in 2007? How many in your entire recovery career? I can tell you how many I have killed. Why won’t you get honest and claim your culpability?

If you really want an answer – let me help you. How many sponsees have you taken on, telling them to take their time to “take the steps” - that it’s “not a race” - and you also never qualified them as real alcoholics in Step One – as it says to do on page forty four?

Got the approximate number? Ok . . . now,

. . . . are any of them dead? THAT’S A BEGINNING!

Peace,

Danny S