Talk To The Hand . . . I mean Book

There are several men that I currently sponsor whom have nearly twenty years of sobriety. When I met them these men they hadn’t had a drink in that long BUT they hadn’t recovered either.

They were staying sober and dry on the Fellowship – lots of meetings etc. And they were going MAD. So if you ask

“Who cares if they have done the steps or not – as long as they didn’t drink.” BULL SHALE!

These men certainly care. As Dr. Silkworth pointed out,

“and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.”(The Doctors Opinion)

I care too. Don’t forget I had been suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience would conquer. And it did.

And we know that that this change does not come through osmosis. It does not come by sitting in meetings or making coffee or putting away folding chairs. Recovery remians something to be worked for and that work is taking the Twelve Steps- and it sticks by practicing these steps in ALL of our affairs. Its how the daily reprieve is gotten each twenty four hours.

RecoverING and RecoverED is never a suitable AA arguing point – it’s right in there, all throughout the text. Bill, Bob . . . .

all of them referred to themselves as recovered alcoholics – not because they had a meeting and made a semantic decision – but because that was their experience.

What is it about folks who have this need to tell me what MY experience is. If I say I have recovered – accept it! If you say you haven’t – I’ll grant the SAME latitude – I promise. Christ, it’s like arguing with an insane person – and perhaps that is true. It is reminiscent of the Monty Python “Argument Clinic” skit.

“Hello. I am a recovered alcoholic”

“No you aren’t”

Yes I am”

“Aren’t!

“Am!”

It is insanity.

The man who has a choice between an un-recovered alkie and a recovered alkie to sponsor him will need the one who has successful recovery to transmit. That will be the one who has recovered. It’s not even arguable – unless one likes arguing with a book – the Big Book – because that’s where it comes from.

Hey, I almost left after my first meeting, never to return because I did not want to be sick and crazy and “Still recovering” for the rest of my life – which is what most people I heard propose. Then someone took me aside and explained to me that I didn’t have to –that I could recover – just like the Big Book says. All I had to do was be willing to “Follow a few simple rules.”
AA was the last house on the block - and so I decided on the rules.

It’s not a semantic debate. It’s an experiential one and folks who do not WANT me, you and millions like us who have recovered can’t do a damn thing about it – except complain about our use of the word. So phooey on them. They can shit in my hat for all I care.

It’s not even an argument.

Peace,

Danny S

Talk To The Hand . . . I mean Book

There are several men that I currently sponsor whom have nearly twenty years of sobriety. When I met them these men they hadn’t had a drink in that long BUT they hadn’t recovered either.

They were staying sober and dry on the Fellowship – lots of meetings etc. And they were going MAD. So if you ask

“Who cares if they have done the steps or not – as long as they didn’t drink.” BULL SHALE!

These men certainly care. As Dr. Silkworth pointed out,

“and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.”(The Doctors Opinion)

I care too. Don’t forget I had been suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience would conquer. And it did.

And we know that that this change does not come through osmosis. It does not come by sitting in meetings or making coffee or putting away folding chairs. Recovery remians something to be worked for and that work is taking the Twelve Steps- and it sticks by practicing these steps in ALL of our affairs. Its how the daily reprieve is gotten each twenty four hours.

RecoverING and RecoverED is never a suitable AA arguing point – it’s right in there, all throughout the text. Bill, Bob . . . .

all of them referred to themselves as recovered alcoholics – not because they had a meeting and made a semantic decision – but because that was their experience.

What is it about folks who have this need to tell me what MY experience is. If I say I have recovered – accept it! If you say you haven’t – I’ll grant the SAME latitude – I promise. Christ, it’s like arguing with an insane person – and perhaps that is true. It is reminiscent of the Monty Python “Argument Clinic” skit.

“Hello. I am a recovered alcoholic”

“No you aren’t”

Yes I am”

“Aren’t!

“Am!”

It is insanity.

The man who has a choice between an un-recovered alkie and a recovered alkie to sponsor him will need the one who has successful recovery to transmit. That will be the one who has recovered. It’s not even arguable – unless one likes arguing with a book – the Big Book – because that’s where it comes from.

Hey, I almost left after my first meeting, never to return because I did not want to be sick and crazy and “Still recovering” for the rest of my life – which is what most people I heard propose. Then someone took me aside and explained to me that I didn’t have to –that I could recover – just like the Big Book says. All I had to do was be willing to “Follow a few simple rules.”
AA was the last house on the block - and so I decided on the rules.

It’s not a semantic debate. It’s an experiential one and folks who do not WANT me, you and millions like us who have recovered can’t do a damn thing about it – except complain about our use of the word. So phooey on them. They can shit in my hat for all I care.

It’s not even an argument.

Peace,

Danny S

Busting the “Recovering Alcoholic" Myth – Part I

Let’s see if we can bust a myth – one that we hear over and over and over.

“No one ever recovers from alcoholism. Recovery is a lifelong process”

First let’s give credit where it’s due. True, most people will NEVER recover from alcoholism.

Most people will also never recover from smallpox.

You know why? Because most people will never HAVE either of those illnesses. No one has ever recovered from a disease they did not actually HAVE!

While there isn’t a great population of folks running around telling everyone that they have smallpox – there IS an abundance of folks running around claiming to have alcoholism, when the don’t. Where? Right in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous – that’s where.

If you ask anyone of these folks to give AAs “Description of the alcoholic” - they CAN’T. Have NO IDEA! No one ever showed them what it is. Some may go so far as to say they are “Powerless” over alcohol, yet still be unable to describe just exactly what Powerless means. It is pretty pathetic. They may tell you what THEIR description of the alcoholic is, and call that good enough – but AAs description? – Not a clue!

Yet they will attend meetings which read what is called “How it works” which in paraphrasing the first Two Steps, says:

“Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventure before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.” (60:2)

Read the first five words. AA DOES have a “description of the alcoholic” don’t they?

Many folks can read the “chapter to the agnostic” the “personal adventures” but will SKIP ENTIRELY the part of the Big Book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” which clearly details “Our description of the alcoholic”.

Why is that?

Because if they knew what AAs description of the alcoholic is, they would be forced to see something that they just could not bear to see. At best they might see that they still do not know whether or not they are real alcoholics – and at worst they might find they do not fit the description AT ALL – that they are IN THE WRONG PLACE! Folks ten, twenty thirty years or more availing themselves to the benefits of AA membership without actually qualifying for that membership would have to admit they may have been wrong all these years in calling themselves “Alcoholic”. What a blow to the ego THAT would be. Who is man or woman enough to make that admission?

They will embrace ANY OTHER DESCRIPTION from whoever has one, that does not interfere with their comfort zone in fellowship. Dr. Phil’s, Oprah’s, their family doctors, Their OWN, their families but fit the actual description laid out by the founders of the Fellowship to which they claim membership? NO. NOT THAT!

So certain ideas, ideas experienced and proffered by the co-founders MUST be neatly avoided. That includes the phrase “Our description of the alcoholic” and the notion a person who fits THEIR description can and do recover from it. They may never recover from THEIR description, but AA claims to remedy for any other description other than the one of which they describe.

Part II later – Busting the “Recovering” Myth
WHAT IS “OUR DESCRIPTION of the alcoholic?”

Peace,

Danny S

Are You a "Recovering Alcoholic"?

Or Are You A LIAR!
“I am crazy and sick, you know. Yeah . . . That’s the ticket! Insane. Have no power whatsoever. THAT’S why I behave this way. Crazy as a loon. That’s me.”

This idea that we go around for the rest of our lives still sick, still powerless, still crazy and still running our defects on the world around us because or “After all . . . I AM an alcoholic (Or drug addict)” OR MAYBE “That’s my disease” – gives recovery a bad name. Who wants to associate with someone who belongs to a “club” of crazies?

It’s no wonder some people want to keep anonymity as a secret society of members so well. When people suspect we might be in a Fellowship – they THINK we are all NUTS! Who’d intentionally hire or want to hang with a self admitted screwball!

I wish people would stop doing that.

Either recover, drink or get the hell out – or do something – but don’t push your character defects on the world and then tell them you’re “Recovering” YOUR NOT!!

If you want to go around telling the world that YOU are crazy and will never be anything but (Because it’s progress not perfection, right?) that is you’re prerogative – but it is NOT YOUR RIGHT to tell the the world that ALL of us in AA are as crazy as you are!

Some of us have experienced a return to sanity and recovery and it harms us to have your arrogance speak for all of us in the Fellowship. STOP IT!

Peace,

Danny Schwarzhoff

Looking For A New Sponsor For Christmas?

I have been asked often how to find a sponsor. My answer never varies. Get a sponsor who has experience in taking others through the 12 steps and identifies him/herself as someone who has recovered.

If someone says they are still “Recovering” politely pass, and keep looking until you find someone for whom the Program has actually worked.

If someone is “Still recovering” then either whatever they are doing hasn’t worked OR they may be trying to recover from an illness they haven’t’ got. In either case – you’re screwed.

Disregard how “Nice” or “Knowledgeable” the still recovering person seems. If you want to be that person’s friend, fine – but do not permit yourself to fall under their sponsorship, unless they have recovered from alcoholism. “Not drinking” today does not count. YOU may NEVER drink again and this person’s method may KILL you – as earnest and nice as they seem.

Your sponsor will refer to him/herself as “RECOVERED”

He/she’ll know EXACTLY what to do with you from there and you can trust that without reservation.

Do not let anyone sponsor you whose solution is “Don’t drink and go to meetings”, or “Just don’t drink” or “One day at a time”. These concepts are not part of our Program, but they are rampant never the less. If that is their solution, and it works for them, it may KILL you, if you are a real alcoholic as described in those first 43 pages of the Big Book. And THAT’S the ONLY description that counts in this Program — not mine, yours, Dr, Phil’s or our family’s & friends — not even the old-timer in the meeting who hasn’t cracked a Big Book in ten years other than to read at his turn at the old “Big Book meeting.”

If a potential sponsor tells you aren’t ready to take the steps, RUN! If anyone tells you they did it slowly, therefore so can you RUN! They may not be “one of us”.

If anyone tells you that you ARE an alcoholic, just because you showed up. RUN! We don’t like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic. YOU must ascertain it yourself, by those 43 pages.

This is important –-> Take the 12 steps as fast as you possibly can. It IS a race. You must recover before the next first drink comes along, and don’t let anyone tell you that THEY know when that is for you. You do not have to be prey to arrogance.They don’t know when YOUR next first drink will come along. No one does!

Just because they had the luxury of sitting on their thumbs – getting comfortable in meetings and reading AA literature – you may NOT have that same luxury. Not if you are a real alcoholic. YOU might obsess for your next drink this afternoon! It’s no skin off their back if you do. And you might not live through it. They will.

And then after you have worked the Program in the book, and the desire to drink has left, (That’s a promise that it will), then you will be in a position to go find another alcoholic to work with as your sponsor has done and pass it on to another in the position you are in now.

Soon you will be free from alcohol, sponsoring others and joining us in the trenches. Your life will have become usefully happy and whole.

You could be recovered and enjoying life by the New Year – FREE for the first time in your life!

Too simple? Your DAMNED right it is! Ho Ho Ho

Peace,

Danny S

What Is Your Truth?

I am a recovered alcoholic.



Is them fightin‘ words?

Someone who has has the spiritual awakening as the result of these steps and who practices these principles in all of their affairs wouldn’t be looking for a fight – if they have recovered then they have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol – even other AA members. Their motives would not be so questionable.

I can tell you why I identify as “Recovered”.

I am saying something different because I am having a different experience in AA and have had different results from being a member than many others who aren’t recovered and aren’t recovering either.

When I identify with my truth – that I have indeed recovered – oftentimes someone will come up to me afterwards to ask me to explain it to them. That one word is sometimes a walking billboard of more hope than they have yet to hear in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.

I am more than happy to oblige them and take advantage of the opportunity. I have gotten sponsees this way.

Lives have been turned to God and people have recovered, because I identify as a “RECOVERED” alcoholic. No one has EVER asked me to explain “Recovering”.

As a real alcoholic newcomer, and not a Disco Drunk, it was a dismal prospect to think that I might never recover and would be sick and insane for the rest of my life. I would not want what a person who never recovered has, no matter how great they thought it was to not have to work with a headache, get into bar fights or how much they thought it was a boon to their existence to have a drivers license back.

I couldn’t give a tittly toot about their DMV issues or how unhappy they have been without their kids Those were never issues for me and I know plenty of people who never drink that have those same issues or worse.

And damn the grimacing torpedoes of middle-of-road disco drunks who disapprove and hold contempt for the miracle.

Many people just don’t seem to understand how low and how deep the soul sickness of a real alcoholic like me gets. “Recovering” holds no banner of hope for me. It carries has no depth – no weight, hardly any promise at all. “Recovered” is an offer of the hope held out, for inspection, ready to be passed on. And Damn the grimacing torpedoes of middle-of-road disco drunks who disapprove and hold contempt for the miracle.

“Recovering” is not attractive to me as a real McCoy. A life filled with work problems, divorces, fits of anger fear and loathing, because after all “I’m STILL RECOVERING, I am NOT A SAINT, I AM LEARNING TO LIVE MY DEFECTS” with no alcohol to ease the misery is no offer of hope to me. I wouldn’t want it!

“Recovered” on the other hand, is VERY attractive. It may be repulsive to the non-alcoholic who can never recover from a disease he hasn’t got, whose drunkologue and whose sad-sack bottom sounds like a cakewalk to the real alcoholic – but to me as a real alcoholic I want what “Recovered offers.” Not what “always be sick” and recovering offers, which is nothing but fellowship and a lifelong commitment to meeting addiction.

Personally I can’t imagine an unrecovered alcoholic having the nerve to say m>“I am a recovered alcoholic” even when looking for a fight. His yet unaddressed fears or what people might think would prevent it. And those who aren’t even real alcoholics who say it, aren’t’ my concern.

Hopefully they’ll just peter out of the fellowship in a few years anyway once they figured out that they aren’t powerless over alcohol and CAN stop on their own willpower.<!–p>

I don’t EVER enjoy fighting with ANYONE over these issues or what I say in a meeting. There is such a thing as healthy debate - but looking for fights in AA over my own experience is a waste of time. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone thank God.

Peace,

Danny S

Joe Recovering and Pat Trudger.

Just having a little fun here with
Joe Recovering and Pat Trudger.

Joe R: Hey. We ALL get annoyed now and then. It is only human.
Hell, I have never done a fourth step and I’M sober 30 years. I can
get pissed, as long as I don’t act out and come here, I’ll be OK

Pat T: It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads
only to futility and unhappiness.

Joe R: Well, as long as stay away from a drink today, I’m a winner.
Booze will kill me, resentment won’t. I get over it in time if I
forget about it. Resentments are natural. I’m not a saint.

Pat T: This business of resentment is infinitely grave.

Joe R: Look there are people in my own family I still don’t talk to
from years back, and I haven’t drunk yet. There’s no place in the
big Book that says resentments kill alcoholics. Alcohol kill
alcoholics!

Pat T: We found that it is fatal.

Joe R: Well, you say that. But I don’t know any drunk who ever died
from holding a grudge. But I DO know people that have died from
booze. I pray every day for God to keep me away from a drink one day
at a time. That’s ALL I need to pray for. That’s why I’m alive
today. I just tell it to God. You should keep it simple like I DO.

Pat T: when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the
sunlight of the Spirit.

Joe R: God didn’t bring me this far just to dump me. Meeting makers
make it. Just keep coming and you won’t drink. God doesn’t want me
to drink so He’ll keep me safe.

Pat T: The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again.

Joe R: Keep coming back.

Peace,

Danny S