Skulls Crack

Trying To Define Alcoholism

I get to read a lot of articles about “alcoholism”. People send them to me mostly. Others come through a clipping service I employ. There are articles about this discovery and that discovery – about this genetic cause for alcoholism or that medication being studied for treatment purposes.

I have learned to take these, not with grains of salt, but with handfuls of the hard rock variety – the kind you toss on your doorsteps in February so you don’t slip and crack your skull wide opened.

That is what it feels like after I read too many of these things. My brain hurts at times. It is hard to form an intelligent opinion on much of this stuff that floats around out there on news-wires and broadcasts since none of “us” – people interested in others with alcohol problems – ever seem to be on the same page when describing or thinking about “alcoholism.”

Some call it a “dependence” some call it an “addiction” some call it “substance abuse” and then there are a dozen or more different ways of describing “alcoholism” itself – with no one agreeing on one idea or describing it at all.

The world is all over the map with no one agreeing on just what is alcoholism. AA described it for their purposes over seventy years ago and now the “for fee” industry is expanding that to widening definitions to include a broader based “paying” markets – for its own profit making purposes. Some might say they are “hijacking” for revision the “description of the alcoholic” – I guess that depends on your perspective.

When it comes to alcoholism I’m a pure AA man myself. I go with what is described in their book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” the book from which the Fellowship derives it’s name. That’s what I use cause that’s what I got – and I hang with people who got what I got! Then, when I did what the co-authors did I also Got what hey got – I got a spiritual awakening and consequentially all of my problems were solves – EVEN INCURABLE ALCOHOLISM! I am equally convinced that diseases like cancer diabetes and heart disease can also be resolved through such awakenings.

I have experienced relief from chronic colitis, diverticular disease, high blood lipids, depression, anxiety, advanced arthritis and even financial problems and the dreaded “FEAR OF FINANCIAL INSECURITY” – all as the result of spiritual awakenings and spiritual growth. My kids are well adjusted and emotionally secure. My relationship with my wife is healthy and we are happy. Our home bursts with jocularity and contentment when we are all together – like a circus tent. No one is ill – no one is sick – there is no fighting or yelling or screaming beyond an occasion misunderstanding – and even then anger is never a problem. These are not hearsay ‘wonders’ to me. These are problems that a loving God has solved and gifts that He has given to and for us so that we could become useful on this planet. At least I am convinced that that is why He did it. It certainly is not because I deserve it for my saintly lifestyle.

Here is another “cool” thang . . . . . I am not afraid to tell you about any of it. I have no fear that I will ‘jinx’ it if I do – as if these things are because of sort of fairy’s charm and if the fairy hears me talk about it she’ll snap it away from us. Or because some tricky god up there will interpret my story as exhibiting braggadocio and egotism – so therefore I must be taught a lesson and be stricken with financial ruin and disease and drinking. I am not afraid that the “other shoe” will drop – because we have faith – faith in a LOVING GOD, not in some ogre in the sky just waiting for us to slip up so he can yank our happiness away – give us cancer and force us into fear of financial insecurity.

See?

This is ALL from having a spiritual awakening as the result of the steps. They are not from “Doin’ another AWOL” – Jeeeze do you AWOL people ever freakin recover or ever even come out here into the trenches to twelve step other alkies? They are not from “One Day at A Time” either. They are not because I “Just don’t drink.” and they sure as shit aren’t from “Going to lots of meetings”.

It all began when first I learned to concede to my innermost self that I was alcoholic. But how could I ever have done that if I did not now what alcoholisms is – how hopeless the solution without divine intervention? I cannot. I can run around yelling, “I AM AN ALCOHOLIC” all I want – but if I use any description other than the one, the AA one, which depicts hopelessness then I will always have some hope – call it “the lurking notion” - that I can “share” my way out – ‘doctor’ my way out – ‘rehab my way out’ or use my self-will as in “JUST DON’T DRINK”. All of these mean that I think that I have Power over alcohol and if any of these work – then I DO – and don’t need a spiritual awakening to get in touch with God so He can hand His power over to flow through me and remove the problem – ALL my problems.

When some journalist or doctor is writing his findings or opinions about what he calls alcoholism – it may or may not — probably not — apply to anything that I know to be what I got.

Even within the fellowship itself – we have so many folks with outside ideas, brought in from their rehab adventures of what alcoholism is that are so completely foreign to AA’s “description of the alcoholic” that they must steer clear of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous or else undergo such a severe cases of Cognitive Dissonance I doubt that the county’s mental health system could bear the load if they all would seek help at one time.

This is so predominant that hardly anyone in AA’s own membership can tell you if asked what “Our description of the alcoholic” actually is. Which means that they cannot help other alcoholics do anything even close to recovering.

For what description has the AA Fellowship developed a Program? I can tell you that it most likely is not the description you were given by your friendly counselor in at the detox center. For the most part – AAs description of the alcoholic is bad for business if you are in the treatment business. AA s description automatically eliminates a solution through human aid – and the treatment industry and “addictions” counselors are in the business of providing human aid.

Haven’t you ever wondered why it is that you were more confused about AA and the Twelve Steps after you got out of rehab than when you first went in? It’s true isn’t it? You’re damned right it is – and that is no accident.

If, as your Big Book explains, you have “ passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid” (25:3) then those who provide such human aid cannot be included in your recovery which means that you are not a source of money to them.

Do you see now how important it is for the treatment industry to REDEFINE alcoholism – to take it back from Alcoholics Anonymous – and how if they do not then they have no industry?

If I fit Dr. Phil’s idea of alcoholism don’t you think that I might do well to pursue the Dr. Phil’s solution? I think so. If I fit AA’s idea of alcoholism does it not make sense to reject Dr. Drew Pinky’s concepts and pursue AA’s solution?

Shouldn’t I find out who’s description I fit so that I can seek help from the appropriate person or organization?

How can I ever have an intelligent conversation with someone say, Dr. Drew, if he thinks that alcoholism is determined by consequences of drinking – he does - and I think it is a mental obsession combined with a physical allergy? We cannot have that conversation – we would both be hitting our heads against each others – getting nowhere.

Let’s use the tiniest bit of common sense here, all right? If Dr. Drew prescribes ten hours a week of psycho therapy and anger management for my alcoholism and THAT WORKS – then what the hell do I need a AA for? And if AA prescribes a spiritual awakening as the result of the steps – wouldn’t I be foolish to ignore that and instead follow Dr. Phil’s advice? I will be told that I need AA for “group support” because that’s what AA is turned into. It is no longer a spiritual entity the sole purpose of which is “sobriety: Freedom from alcohol through the teaching and practice of the twelve steps.” it is now feeling “Happy joyous and free” through “sharing”. Apparently there are folks out there who if they are happy enough, joyous enough and free enough then they “Just wont drink”. WOW. I wish I could do that.

My solution would have been “Just join the circus.” What a clown I’ d have made.

No one is on the same page when it comes to describing alcoholism. Alcoholic Anonymous uses a very specific description and has a program designed to treat that description. It may not be designed to treat your type of drinking problem. Not everyone who has a drinking problem is going to fit AAs description of the alcoholic.

Not sure what AA’s “our description of the alcoholic” is? It is on pages one through 43 of the book, “Alcoholics Anonymous”. Maybe it would be an intelligent thing to do – to learn it - before saying “I am an alcoholic” in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous – unless you know what that means.

Peace,

Danny S

PS – Have you ever noticed that the co-authors of the Big Book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” never say that they have “defined” alcoholism – only that they “describe” it? In fact they offer no definitions of anything!

Do you know why that is? I think that we can see why that is – and fairly easily too. More on that exact topic later next week.

How Many Finger Is Ronnie Holding Up?

There are two conditions to real alcoholism. In the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous” It is a Two-Fold disease.

Not “three-fold” as some people – unfamiliar with AA’s “Description of the alcoholic” in that book – like to say. If you want to to call it a THREE FOLD DISEASE go ahead – but you’ll have to look somewhere outside of the book “Alcoholics Anonymous to find it.

Both of these conditions must be present. And the only one qualified to view deeply into ones own history of reactions and behaviors to alcohol to the degree necessary to determine the presence of those two conditions is the person with the drinking problem.

What someone who has recovered and who is armed with the facts about his or her OWN alcoholism is qualified to do is to show you what those two conditions are. It is up to you to see if the shoe fits – not anyone else. You are the only one with the intimate knowledge of your own past, necessary to make such a determination. We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic because when we do – we err.

That can result in non-alcoholics believing themselves alcoholics and real alcoholics calling themselves alcoholics but not knowing why it is. We rob him of the deep inner recognition of the malady within ones self. And THAT in the long run makes for poor sponsorship in AA and widespread ignorance about the malady within and outside of that fellowship – because there is a lack of ability in explaining alcoholism to the person such as yourself who is researching for an answer.

CONDITION ONE: The inability to stop once you start – it is called CRAVING. This is an abnormal PHYSICAL reaction to alcohol since it is only experienced by a small portion the total population. Hence it is an allergy by definition – an exaggerated or pathological immunological reaction to substances, situations, or physical states that are without comparable effect on the average individual.

Real alcoholics do not CRAVE alcoholic until they first take alcohol in their system – either by drink, or by accidental ingestion through eating alcohol contaminated food. People who are thus afflicted can pretty much solve this problem in the same way anyone with any other food allergy can: Just don’t drink the alcohol – which is a food, by the way. A carbohydrate. (See: What we don’t know can kill us“)

CONDITION TWO: It is called an obsession. Alcohol does NOT have to first be physically introduced into the body for this component to become operative. It is a MENTAL component which causes the sufferer to drink EVEN THOUGH HIS EXPERIENCE SHOWS that he will experience the aforementioned allergic reaction and not be able to stop once he starts because of the CRAVING.

You can have one of the conditions present, and this will result in problems – problems which can be solved through human aid – such as rehabs, support groups etc. – but if you cannot stop once you start – AND you cannot “NOT START” — THEN you fit the “Our description of the alcoholic” offered by “Alcoholics Anonymous” – THEIR Program – and can benefit using THEIR SOLUTION. (The Twelve Steps)

If you have only ONE of those two conditions you will not need to take such drastic action as the AA Program and may be able instead to benefit from other means of control or moderation – such as counseling or other means less drastic than that prescribed by AA, which requires a total psychic change of being.

I hope that helps someone.

Peace,

Danny S

Idea

Not every alcoholic has to take the steps to recover from alcoholism. They just have to have a spiritual awakening. That’s all.

AA is a Fellowship that offers that through the Twelve Steps.

If I you don’t want to take them and follow them – then you are free to go anywhere you want to get your spiritual awakening.

Or die. Whichever.

Or you can go to AA and pretend that AA isn’t about spiritual awakening. Make sure you tell everyone you meet and every time you “share” that AA is all about “not drinking”.

You can grow a sub-cult – right inside of the AA fellowship that “chooses” not to drink “for on day at a time” and pretend that the steps are optional. Make meetings mandatory. You can then invent your own qualification for membership – disregard AA’s “description of the alcoholic” and declare that AA is for anyone with “a drinking problem” – not just real alcoholics. Just make sure you spread the idea that there is no such thing as a real alcoholic – that ANYONE who has an addiction to any substance is “alcoholic”.

Oh wait. Sorry. That’s already been done.

Never mind.

Peace,

Danny S

Screw U

I do not like it. The co-founders did not like it. Maybe you do not like it. But apparently many folks LOVE it.

What am I talking about is – pronouncing that just about anyone with a “Drinking problem” in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous is alcoholic.

“We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself.” (31:3)

To announce is to make known publicly; to pronounce is to declare officially or formally.

Yet isn’t that exactly what we do when we tell someone “You’re in the right place” or “No one gets here by accident.”

If you think that EVERYBODY who enters that church basement is an alcoholic and in the right place – then you are out of your gourd and may have some some “problems” other than alcoholism – like maybe someone gave you a lobotomy in your sleep one night. I have buried too many drug addicts in the last ten years and seen too many “members” who can “Put the plug in the jug” on their own.

There are reasons why the co-authors tell us that they don’t like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic – and once we start doing what they did we can see it too. They did not just pull these ideas out of the asses and write into a book, you know.

The Big Book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” is EXPERIENCE based – not OPINION based.

Too many of us do not bother to Twelve Step others and never experience and see some much in book for ourselves – operating in our own lives as we resume our lives in new and helpful ways.

First, unless he’s been taken through Step One he wont’ believe you if in your opinion he is a real alcoholic – even if YOU DO believe it. Why should he be interested your opinions anyway – people have been giving this guy resentments and troubles by telling him their opinions about him for years anyway. “Fuck you and your solution!”

What will you do then, repeat yourself? Say it louder? Carve it into his belly with a penknife? Take out a full page ad in the New York Times? Besides, what do most newcomers say anyway?

They say, “OH I KNOW that I am an alcoholic!”

“Oh really? OK pal -tell me what alcoholism is.” – and he won’t even come close. He will not tell you about the obsession combined with t he allergy nor describe those condition operative in his drinking history. He can’t explain alcoholic powerlessness – unmanageably – that even faintly resembles “what we know about alcoholism” .

How could he? You haven’t taken him through Step One yet – the other side of which he can emerge knowledgeable about “our description of the alcoholic” and see that he either fits or not. Why do you think and Twelve Step call requires you telling YOUR story to him? It isn’t because you’re so freakin‘ interesting. Anyone who IS NOT and alcoholic wouldn’t understand what the hell you are talking about – like most people in meetings can’t either.

“Show him your copy of this book and tell him what you have found out about alcoholism.” (112:4)

If all you have “found out” is that “One drink is too many . . . . blah blah blah” . . . . sorry, but a real alcohol will instantly sense how full of hot steaming shit your are and you can pretty much just tell him, “Call me before you drink” – then pat yourself on the back for being such a “helpful” AA – then go home and catch another broadcast of “Survivor“. Maybe someone will be moved to clue him in to what a complete dead weight asshole you are in the Fellowship and get him through the first few steps before YOU even get to another meeting – if he’s lucky.

The most important reason that we like SELF DIAGNOSIS is that when we rob him of the self-discovery element we also thwart the power of the inner conclusion necessary – we may prevent or delay his ability to take Step One.

“We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.” (30:1)

This is where the “professionals” of the “Addictions” business have rejected this LEARNING and so fail to make any inroads – and why the recovered alcoholics (Not you recoverING guys, sorry.) of Alcoholics Anonymous – we who eschew POP AA in favor of practicing these principles are presently and will continue to be the real professionals in the field. “We have been given the power to help others.” (132:2) We can help when NO ONE ELSE can.

Nobody. Not the church – not a religion – not the rehab – not the Doctor – the counselor – or the Santero in the back-room of La Botanica. Only “WE” can “secure their confidence when others fail.” (89:0) – and many of these other “professionals” will spit like snakes when we get come around to take another one to God. That’s their problem if they want to do this for money.

There is an awful lot of such “Pronouncement” going on for a Fellowship that claims it shouldn’t be avoiding. Maybe we can just give out “Screw U” medallions instead of twenty four hour or “Desire” chips.

Eleven years ago when I first stepped into “the rooms” in Little Neck-Douglaston, Queens, New York City, the first people I met were frank. They said things like, “I don’t know if you are alcoholic or not.” and “Only you can make that determination” – and one fellow, Barry G, explained to me just how the co-authors or the Big Book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” went about it for themselves and had developed something they called “Our description of the alcoholic”.

He let ME in on it – by telling me what he knew about alcoholism – what he had learned from the Big Book and found to apply to his situation.

If I search out another alcoholic to work with and start off first by telling him that he IS alcoholic without knowing much about his history – except that he has utterly destroyed his life and the lives of his loved ones by being a booze bagged asshole – and use THAT information alone in order to qualify and recruit him into the Fellowship created for real alcoholics – attracting him with my friendship and a promise that he will “Not be alone anymore” – he is screwed!

Even worse, I have also screwed the Fellowship and the millions of others who would depend upon Primary Purpose now and in the future. Not being alone anymore is good. Friendship is good. Being able to “open up” to another human being is good. But that is NOT our purpose.

“Sobriety—the freedom from alcohol—through the teaching and practicing of the twelve steps is the sole purpose of an AA group.” Bill W

A few months ago I was at a meeting where some guy, in the middle of his “sharing” looked across the room at a “first-timer” and said, “I never met you before. But I KNOW that you are an alcoholic!”

He KNOWS! I had to strain my head to see the guy. I thought maybe Criss Angel or The Amazing Kreskin and come to visit the Group. But the guy was about as magical as the Amazing Carnac.

What someone who has recovered and who is armed with the facts about his or her OWN alcoholism is qualified to do is to show someone – ANYONE – what those two conditions are. It is up to them then to see if the shoe fits – not anyone else. You are the only one with the intimate knowledge of your own past, necessary to make such a determination. We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic because when we do – WE CAN FUCK IT UP!

That can result in non-alcoholics believing themselves alcoholics and even real alcoholics calling themselves alcoholics but not knowing why it is.

We rob them BOTH of the deep inner recognition of the malady or absence of the malady – within ones self. He cannot decide if he belongs or not – not to inner most self anyway.

Have you ever suggested to someone that maybe they are NOT alcoholic? Sometimes you’ll hear back, “Don’t say that. My sick brain can convince me that maybe I am not and then I’ll drink”. Hey, did you just hear that? Listen. I just heard a coo-coo go off somewhere. This is someone who has NOT yet taken step one. I don’t care what they say or what their sponsor says – they haven’t done it – and if they have the conclusion was that they DON’T FIT – but now they don’t want to leave the fellowship.

What someone who had NEVER recovered, doesn’t intend to EVER recover, but plans to attend AA meetings for the foreseeable future – who is armed with misinformation about alcoholism shows up and tells the poor slob who just got his third DWI conviction and has lost his job that he IS alcoholic – he’s armed all right. He is armed with a grenade of ignorance – pin pulled – and if he grabs onto that newcomer yelling hit the deck that newcomer wont’ even have a chance to kiss his poor ass bye bye.

If he is NOT an alcoholic but some poor guy who has managed to drink himself to ruin and near death (All alcoholics are assholes – but not all assholes are alcoholic) he will call himself alcoholic but not knowing why it is.

We rob him of the deep inner recognition of the malady within ones self

- and THAT in the long run makes for poor sponsorship in AA and widespread ignorance about the malady within and outside of that fellowship – because there is a lack of ability in explaining alcoholism to the newcomer who needs to know.

If you do not Twelve Step other alcoholics or if you have limited or no experience working with sick, pukestank alkies – or you do not fit “Our description of the alcoholic” in the Big Book and therefore aren’t’ “one of us” and so believe that anyone with desire to stop drinking can become a member of Alcoholics Anonymous even if he is not alcoholic – then this idea will probably buzz low across your roof and keep going. You can’t afford to understand it.

But let me ask you this: How many alcoholics would you say you have directly killed in 2007? How many in your entire recovery career? I can tell you how many I have killed. Why won’t you get honest and claim your culpability?

If you really want an answer – let me help you. How many sponsees have you taken on, telling them to take their time to “take the steps” - that it’s “not a race” - and you also never qualified them as real alcoholics in Step One – as it says to do on page forty four?

Got the approximate number? Ok . . . now,

. . . . are any of them dead? THAT’S A BEGINNING!

Peace,

Danny S

"I Was Raised In An Alcoholic Family"

Sorry to hear that.
But WHO GIVES A CRUMB!

“. . . the multitude of persons who exhibit misbehavior conduct through faulty upbringing or complexes, who are oppressed by a sense of humiliation or inferiority because of unfriendly or disapproving associates or because of some physical defect, and find that a few drinks enable them to consider themselves the equals of any or even superior to all others, are not to be classed as chronic alcoholics merely because they indulge in alcohol regularly.” Dr. William G. Silkworth – “Alcoholism as a Manifestation of Allergy,” Medical Record (March 17, 1937)

Sometimes I go to meetings and I swear – it sounds like an audition to play Rodney Dangerfield in a movie – not an AA meeting

“My mutha was a drunk. My father was a lech. I even married a drunk.”

“I once walked into the house at five in the morning and my new bride was wearing nothing but a negligee and stockings. Yeah, she was just coming in.”

“No wonder I drink. “I gotta drink I tell ya!”

“We were so poor that I felt inferior to my peers and so I drank to feel better – and I did it so much and often that I became a no good bum with a rotting liver who lied and cheated and earned the hatred of my kids children. They don’t give me no respect. I went to fifty rehabs didn’t stay through most of the courses – I still couldn’t stay sober — and all this makes me an alcoholic now. Right?

WRONG!

All of this makes you ASSHOLE.

All alcoholics may well be assholes – do you know any who are not? I don’t. But not all assholes are alcoholic.

What makes you an alcoholic is fitting “Our description of the alcoholic” set forth in the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. There is no other way. We cannot turn you into a real alcoholic. We cannot “declare ” or “proclaim” that you are “one of us”.

What we can do is show you “Our description of the alcoholic” so that you can see if you fit – if you qualify for membership – then decide if you want to try the solution we have used. Our solution FIT “Our description” and no other description of alcoholism. If not, your solution may lie elsewhere. If you don’t qualify – we trust you to go away.We pray that you find YOUR solution.

Peace,

Danny S

Denying The Description Of The Alcoholic

Has anyone heard a good example of “Our description of the alcohol” lately? I have. Unfortunately is wasn’t in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous – the very place one would think you would here it it most clearly.

I have heard people who THINK they know an alcoholic is. Yet what they describe as being alcoholic doesn’t even come close to the description of the alcoholic in the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous.

That book doesn’t use the modern term “denial” that we hear in the rooms of AA these days BUT it seems to me that unless a person admit that they are alcoholic using AA’s “Description of the alcoholic” then they are still “in denial” in-as-far-as plugging into the AA solution designed solely for THEIR description. Very few people I’ve ever met – (Remember, I work with many newcomers) including myself upon first seeking a solution – have yet to LEARN what an alcoholic is.

Since the first part of Step One is admitting I am alcoholic (Being “powerless over alcohol”) , it as not POSSIBLE to admit that I am something of which I have not even yet learned the definition. Hence a terrific hurdle.

Most people think the hurdle of admission is an ego thing – that once they get through the personal embarrassment of wearing the label and can say, “I’m an alcoholic” it means they’re over it, and therefore cleared to stop drinking by the recovery gods.

That is only because they THINK that they have to admit to being THEIR socially conditioned definition of the alcoholic, – a definition that is usually not sufficient. It might be some mental snapshot of a really bad, anti-social, misfit and bad person, who just happened to choose a destructive method of dealing with life; a “misbehaving” or misdirected person, if you will – but it is a long way from getting to the actual description. They have no idea what is is about them that MAKES them alcoholic.

The public at large fosters this image upon them and professional communities who have not yet discovered or choose to ignore the strides, which the AA co-founders, made when they unwittingly stumbling upon the most accurate definition of the alcoholic that mankind has ever had.

Why would the Treatment Industry “Professionals” accept AA’s “Our description of the alcoholic”?

There’s no money in it for them.

I had a definition in my head of what I “thought” an alcoholic is. Like many people I assumed, through social conditioning, that an alcoholic was someone who just “drinks to much, too often” and therefore can’t reach full human potential; a social eccentric who if only he could DETOX, and then find more socially tolerated ways to deal with his life’s problems, they would be solved.

It may be that they ARE drinking heavily for such reasons, and ARE solely social misfits, but for others like myself, there are OTHER factors well beyond these which in the absence of address, there is no human aid which can help. The socially unfit can simply stop on his or her own, or detox in a controlled environment, then get down to life with the help of a little counseling or maybe even little chemical aid like cannabis or moderation drinking.

But for others, like me, unless I LEARNED what causes an alcoholic of my type to drink, then I could make no progress.

So LEARNING what it is I am saying when I say “I am an alcoholic” had to be done first, and unless one is willing to LEARN and to abandon socially conditioned notions and prejudice which suppose why people over-drink can be set aside, then if I am truly fit the type of alcoholic addressed by AAs Program, then I cannot set about a fix.

So admission to something which we don’t even know what it is we are admitting too, CAN be a problem to taking Step One.

What works for the true socially unprepared individual who does not have a physical allergy to alcohol combined with a mental obsession, never works for someone like me and roughly 10% of all humanity walking the face of the earth.

There is no way out that I’ve found – other than divine intervention of some sort whether through AAs Program or some other spiritual path also leading to God.

Peace,

Danny S

"We Hope We Have Made Clear . . . .

. . . the distinction between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic.” (44:0)

Some people say that they have a “Problem” with real alcoholics who distinguish themselves from the “Rest” of the fellowship. Do they actually think “We” sit around trying to figure out ways to separate ourselves from “normal” folks, perhaps in order to feel superior?

C’mon, give us SOME credit. When did suffering from an physical and mental illness become a superiority? Are these people Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs?

I had to “LEARN” what alcoholism is by AA’s “Description of the alcoholic” in order to avail myself of the Program they had to solve the problem custom tailored to THAT description. There has to be a “fit” so I could comfortably put on the Twelve Step shoes. The essential part of that learning is best said by Dr. Silkworth. “ . . . . an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity.”

I didn’t take my first drink as a twelve year old, setting out to become this “Distinct entity” but here I am one – and it is something I have to accept.

But once we learn and then accept that we ARE different – and are powerless over that fact – THEN we can accept a solution that works for “Us”. Most real alcoholics are relieved to learn this, because it is the missing link that explains the puzzle as to why once we started, we couldn’t stop while seeing, “. . others taking drinks “with impunity.” (The Doctors Opinion)

Why could “THEY” do it and not “US”?

We LEARN this from our text – “Alcoholics Anonymous”. This physical “difference” which separates us from the rest of humanity walking the face of the planet is not some PLOY for some kind of superiority over non-alcoholics – Jeeze it’s a physical defectiveness – an ailment, man!

Most people trying to solve the drink problem should be grateful they don’t “Have it” instead of criticizing those who do and must adapt their entire lives to accommodate it – or else continue to suffer and perhaps die.

Those who “Have a problem” with this distinction – and continuing to try to convince those afflicted that they are “Not unique” or transform the realization it into some sort of psychosomatic egotism (Like throwing the “terminal uniqueness” pejorative.) just confuses some of us newcomers who would rather not be afflicted – and who instead of accepting it, may grasp at these kind of straws to \feel a sameness with the vast majority of their fellows.

We die trying to be “normal” when we are not.

If this were realized, then the words “Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholic. No person likes to think he is bodily AND mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people.” - might have more meaning to them.

Some are apparently are SO unwilling (Or unable because it’s not true for themselves) to admit that we were REAL ALCOHOLICS – that they cannot even accept OUR admittance that there is such a thing as a “Real alcoholic.” How wild is that? Talk about “denial. I am not in denial – so these folks are going to be “in denial” for us?

Nothing could be funnier. (OK . . . maybe a cat peeing in a clowns mouth.)

This side the whole definition fits “us” to a T and when we finally stop being “unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics” we open the possibility for recovery.

They can argue against this “Distinction” all they want – but it’s going to be difficult to get someone such as me to “Go backwards” in my thinking when this allergy distinction/component is an understanding that has been so vital in so completely changing my life to where I have recovered – when nothing else I tried worked – not psychology, not “Meetings Meetings Meetings” not wishing willing or praying – NOTHING.

I wish they’d give it up. Don’t you?

Peace,

Danny S

Question: Describe "Alcoholic"

Time’s up. Pencils down!

Have you ever heard someone say that they “ALWAYS KNEW” they were alcoholic. I’m sure you have. You may have said it yourself at times. I know I have – sorry to say.

Then how come if I ask what an alcoholic is, I can’t get an answer that’s even CLOSE to what my Big Book clearly tells me? How can that be? Keep in mind now that these are folks attending AA meetings and who are trying to fit in an be members – benefiting from the AA experience.

They can tell us about all the grief that drinking has caused them. They can give a freakin‘ drunkologue that will have you weeping into your cocoa puffs and balling through the night

But to give an actual definition, or better yet – give “Our description of the alcoholic” – they can’t do it.

So how do they know if they are alcoholic or not – and if AA is for them? They don’t.

Some coming to meetings for double digit years – getting their buck-an-hour group rap sessions without ever qualifying – thinking they are members – not passing on the “THIS” message – not giving away the common solution to real alcoholics – telling them things that THEY do to stay sober – that will KILL the real alkie. What a disgrace.

My friend Mickey Bush, an alcoholic if ever there was one (and an addict too) - says he’s got two parrots, Bill & Bob. He’s taught them to say “I’m an alcoholic.. . . I’m an alcoholic” - but are they alcoholic just because they SAY SO? (Please don’t confuse AA membership with diagnosis. No one is an alcoholic just because they SAY SO.)

Well, if I stand in the middle of a used car lot – does that make me a Buick? If I go down the street here on The Peninsula of Doom and jump into Vineyard Bay – and swim across it to Martha’s Vineyard = does that make me a Striped Bass?

No, what is likely to have happened is that they . . (Not the parrots) . . walked into an AA meeting and some arrogant ass said to him the same thing that was said to me. It was something like “No one gets here by accident. If you are here you are an alcoholic”.

Or maybe . . .

“It’s Friday night and your in a church basement with us. You MUST be an alcoholic.”

WHOA! Wait just a cotton pickin‘ minute there guy. What ever happened to “We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself.” (31:3) See link

What will you will be told about these beautiful words from our Big Book? You will told that you are too STUPID to diagnose yourself. Of course it may not be said in those words. It may be couched in something like, “Your best thinking got you into your current mess so you can’ t trust your thinking” – but this is the stuff we hear all the time in AA.

Ok. But you can trust someone who doesn’t even know what “Our description of the alcoholic” is? – - who hasn’t learned for themselves the distinction between and alcoholic and a non-alcoholic? – - who thinks that anyone who drinks too much – too often, automatically is alcoholic and therefor qualifies for membership in AA?

You may be told that your brain is still “In the fog”, or some other such condescending tripe. Meanwhile, the Big Books historical accounts, ALL of which are about twelve stepping by the way, show case after case of still shakin’ and bakin’ alcoholics being taught to do just that – learn to make the distinction between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic and see if they identify.

“In the preceding chapters you have learned something of alcoholism. We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the nonalcoholic.” (44:0)

It is the ONLY way to concede to ones innermost self your condition – being TOLD you are alcoholic is NOT.

Wouldn’t it nice if when someone comes up to another says he doesn’t know whether or not he’s an alcoholic, if you they don’t know, they might want to set the ego aside and say something meaningful and helpful – like “I don’t know.”

Then they could be sent someone else in the home group who knows what they heck he’s talking about. It may save a life, instead of kill someone. Or send him to me – I do know as was passed onto me. I do not make the aforementioned “proclamation” – but I sure as hell will show that person, in AA’s Big Book where the diagnosis is – so he can LEARN whether or not he qualifies. Then if I am satisfied – by hearing his story, supported with his new found knowledge – that he is “One of us” (Not one of “me” of “US”) then I can take the time to show him the solution we have found.

I want to make sure he’s the real deal because as far as I know no one has EVER recovered from alcoholism who didn’t actually HAVE alcoholism – and if I waste time with someone who cannot recover from a malady they do not have – I may deprive another truly suffering individual from what we have to offer.

Yes it is an exclusive club – for alcoholics only! Not hard drinkers, not lonely hearts, not cheap bastards whose insurance has run out for out-patient therapy, not drug addicts, not over eaters – JUST ALCOHOLICS – those who suffer from alcoholism – by “Our description” – Not yours, not mine, not Oprahs, not Dr, Phils, not your family doctors, not your “addictions counselors” – just “OURS”.

As Tradition States: ” Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. “ If you do not suffer from alcoholism or if you don’t want to recover – sorry, but bye bye . Let’s go fishing sometime – and we’ll talk about your food addiction – but right now I haven’t time to spare for it.

Someone else is dying from untreated alcoholism and the teaching and practicing the twelve steps for the benefit of the alcoholic – so he can RECOVER – is the SOLE purpose of the AA group and my primary purpose.

Peace,

Danny S

http://recoveredalcoholic.blogspot.com

When Is It (Really) Alcoholism?

How much or when a person drinks has little to do with alcoholism. Drinking a lot and often more often than not is an indication of “problem” with alcohol – but this alone does not describe a real alcoholic.

A real alcoholic must have these two conditions present simultaneously:

1) Obsession of the mind – Cannot resist taking a drink even though he/she knows once they start the cannot stop.
PLUS

2) Allergy of the body - Once any alcohol whatever is taken into his/her system, something happens in a physical sense that is without comparable effect on the average individual – a physical phenomenon of “Craving” develops – which makes it virtually impossible for him to stop, even if he/she wants and/or needs to stop.

This is an abnormal reaction and hence an “allergic” reaction.

The existence on neither or only ONE of the above may result in problem drinking (Drinking too much – too often – even to the point of damage to ones health and livelihood) BUT does not qualify as a real alcoholic.

Both conditions must be present and only ten percent of the world’s population has both of these conditions simultaneously

“If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 44:1)

The exact moment that person becomes an alcoholic is exactly when both of the above conditions become operative – simultaneously. For example, early on in myh life I first obsessed over drinking for many years but could always stop when I wanted to – after I got my ‘fix’ of booze.

Then one day I “Crossed the line” as they say, physically. I broke my pancreas. It just stopped working right – much the same way it can go karflooey when a sugar addict continues to abuse his body. Then one day BAM! The freakin’ thing stops metabolizing sugar the way it is supposed to.

Well, my pancreas stopped metabolizin alcohol propeorly and if I am not careful they same thing will happen to me with sugar and I will become a diabetic. Fortuantleyh fo r me I have power over Jelly doneuts and I just dont’ eat them”. I don’t have to go to “Jelly donuts Anonymous”

Exactly when I cannot say. It’s not something you notice. There’s no “Sonic boom” or internal “Alarm” that goes off — and from that moment on I could no longer stop once I started – I was permanently an alcoholic – like a pickle is permanently a pickle and no longer a cucumber anymore.

So what’s the solve for this cycle?

Actually, AA works quite well for real alcoholics who really try. The problem is that most people who attend AA meetings do not qualify as real alcoholics – so they NEVER RECOVER from alcoholism.

You cannot recover from a malady you haven’t really GOT – now can you? So the low success stats for AA (Maybe 5%) are horribly skewed. I know of an AA group that has an 83% success rate – and as the AA book “Alcoholics Anonymous” states – a

75% success rate back when AA was
founded is about right.*

What if a cancer ward were overrun with misdiagnosed Epilepsy patients? Their cancer recovery rate would be atrocious too – because Epileptics can’t recover from cancer. Same in AA. Hard drinkers cannot recover from alcoholism either – only alcoholics can recover from alcoholism. DUH!

Peace,

Danny S

* In my early business career I worked for several years as a Washington DC Lobbyist for a special interest group – and I can tell you that statistics for public consumption are a “Liar with an ax to grind” ‘s BEST FRIEND. For example: I can prove that glass baby food containers are dangerous for infants just as convincingly as I can prove that they are best for them – all with the same sets of data. Trust me! It’s done ALL THE TIME!

How Much – How Often is Enough?

“I drank more than you ever spilled”. GOD ! Does crap like that get your goat as it does mine? There’s lot of garbage to hear from arrogant assholes – but this one really takes the cake – doesn’t it?

I was just looking at “My drinking assumed more serious proportions, continuing all day and almost every night” from Bill’s Story.

This is one of the very few places in the Big Book where any frequency of alcoholic consumption is mentioned – and rather casually at that.

If how much and how often were a condition of alcoholism; a qualifier of a symptomatic diagnosis, I am quite sure there would be an emphasis on amounts and frequency. But there is not.

Only those not knowledgeable about alcoholism stress such things. I can ALWAYS pick out a speaker or a “Sharer” who hasn’t bothered to learn exactly what illness he has by how he speaks.

He will ALWAYS stress how much he drank and how often - and THAT’S IT. That is how he qualifies as “one of us” – and he hasn’t. How much and how often might impress others, but to a real alcoholic – BORING! I swear – it’s enough to make even the most happy joyous and free of us want to end it all.

If we understand alcoholism we know the truth that it really does not matter what we drink, when we drink, how much or how often. We learn from the first forty three pages of the Big Book that was IS significant is whether or not we have an obsession and an allergic reaction after we succumb to that obsession.

I was NEVER a daily drinker. I know people who drank WAY more than I EVER did on regular basis – and they aren’t alcoholics! They live just fine by just “putting the plug in the jug”. They “just don’t drink” or can moderate because the external conditions in their lives at the time they went “heavy” has been resolved in their lives.

Yet I am well qualified for membership under AAs “Description of the alcoholic”. It doesn’t matter that I don’t drink anymore or even how much I drank before. A real alcoholic might only drink once a month, but if he drinks under an obsessive action and can’t stop once he does – HE’S ONE OF US! “I was a daily drinker” may be proof of not much more than someone needs to stop drinking so damned much.

There are plenty of folks who drink DAILY but do so on their own volition, however misguided that volition may be – who ARE NOT ALCOHOLICS. They have a “Drinking problem” and need help – just not anything as drastic as the Big Book proposes.

Peace,

Danny S