"Would You Like A Menu . . . .

. . . . or have you eaten here before?”

Peter Luger’s has the best tasting steak in the world. I know it. Most New Yorkers know it. There are people all over the world who do too. I have been to Kansas City, Dallas, Chicago throughout the Midwest – eaten steaks there and in fact have had steak all over country and although I am not claiming to be expert I sure as hell know what I like. Of that I am certainly supremely qualified to rate publicly.

Holy Odin! I even had a pretty damned good piece of beef in Scandinavia – I think it was the year before last - when Myers R from Dallas – and I went to do some Big Book workshops in Denmark. I didn’t even know that Scandinavians knew how to serve charred cow that well.

God bless those Vikings!

Ruth’s Chris – in KC or Manhattan – Smith & Wollesnkys, The Palm, Jesse & Jims or where ever — I have eaten at the best restaurants in the world – beef - prepared by some of the finest chefs on earth - just ask them - and Peter Luger has mastered The Steak and is the best. The flavor cannot be reproduced anywhere else not even by Peter Luger staff themselves. You can use the same exact meat and same prep and cooking methods – you can even be the same chef – and if you try to make a steak anywhere else other than at Peter Luger’s – in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, you will not get the same result. You might geta nice piece of meat – you will not get a Peter Luger’s Porterhouse.

There is a reason for this and I know what it is.

The Peter Luger people know what it is too and I imagine that there are some food critics in the city who also know. Oh and by the way – it has nothing to do with how long it is aged — wet or dry aging — in plastic, not in plastic and all the rest of that fun but in this case irrelevant steak-house lore. Read this entire article and maybe I will let you in on the secret. Just maybe. I am bad – I know. Very bad.

So bad in fact that I am going to say some not so nice things about some people. This is not mere name calling. It is identifying traits of folks and I have no malicious though behind it – it is just that I cannot find better words to describe these folks. So please bear with me. You know, a slut is a slut is a slut and someone who is is stupid is stupid is stupid. AA is not a religion and all but a few disgruntled ex-members who probably never should have attempted to ever belong to the fellowship well know that.

They know it because AA has informed them that AA is not a religion – and has requested that it not be considered one.

Most people have the decency and respect to abide by AAs wishes. They know it because they are aware that AA encourages its members to go out and to discover their own religious denomination to which they can subscribe and belong – no religion can do that and still be religion itself. They know it because it is plain that if they were to call themselves ‘a religion’ and then folks came to AA looking for one, there would be mass disappointment with what they found there. There would be a million times the number of pissed off people looking for religions and couldn’t find one then there are those who never wanted one and who claims they ran into it in AA.

Man if you go to AA looking for a religious experience you are in for one great disappointment.

There are folk however who do not have the brain capacity to see beyond top layers of information around them – they have just enough natural curiosity to lift up the top layers of things – just enough to get their “Inspector Gadget” button but not smart enough to go any deeper than that.

These are the conspiracy theory types who are more impressed with themselves and by their own natural God given inquisitiveness than they are by the complete truth that they fall for the trap set by the spirit that holds their strings and who lives just out of sight – behind their own ignorance and ego.

They manage to squeeze a peek just under the surface and as the begin to climb in get stuck with one foot still planted on the outside – unable to ever get beyond that – they live somewhere in a limbo of ignorance and self absorbed non-intelligent intelligence. UFO people are like that. People who think that President Bush ordered two Boeings to suicide bomb themselves into the Twin Towers taking thousands of men, women and children with them – are like that.

The “AA-is-a-religion” people are like that too. They see only bogeymen in church basements. They ignore logical expression of intent and purpose and see things where those thinks do not exist. They see a column of smoke and assume that someone must have exploded a bomb. They smell beef cooking and assume someone is making hamburgers. They hear someone praying and assume that person must be a religious zealot. They see water and figure it must be raining.

All the while all that it was was simply the sous chef in the kitchen praying that he not get terminated from his job for burning the fillet Mignon and setting off the sprinkler system.

Their entire view of the world is so twisted and distorted – the are so impressed with their own inquisitiveness that that they cannot see far enough past the slightly obscured to make decisions in that world for themselves or for others that keep them even within “normal operating parameters, Captain”, Data on Star Trek might say.

They are as likely to go to Benihana for a steak as they are to the Airport Diner for Kushikatsu. They wouldn’t know where to get a good steak or even know that there is steak of a quality beyond their experience. If they were ever to obtain the presence of mind to sit down with a knife an fork, fold a napkin over a leg and slice a bite to chew they would be shocked. Their world is fantasy. Steak is real. Peter Luger’s is real.

While they worship Dr. Drew, the Minnesota Model, doctors and those who “The Board” that ‘certifies’ – those minions of so called professional “Addictions Counselors” who are the new priests in the cult of The First Church of Applied Recoverology - as they point and chant “Cult, Cult” at Practitioners of The Twelve Steps. Of course AA is a cult! But who gives a flying fig? So are the Boy Scouts of America, NASCAR fans and Don Imus listener. Give me a fucking break!

The difference between the self appointed, “Board Certified” amateurs and the Fellowship of the Spirit is that the Fellowship IS real deal. It ain’t no Sizzler or Tads.

As for Middle-of-Road solutionsists, well their mommas are so fat that . . . . uh, wait . . . . Uh Oh. . . . I just thought of something. Not only was I drunk the last time ate at Luger’s but I have never once been there sober – and n ow I remember what happened. I went there for diner.It was after work and instead of going home afterward I had my limo driver head back over the Brooklyn Bridge and into the city. I didn’t come home till the next day.

Never mind. Forget that you read this.

Sorry. Merry Christmas.

Peace,

Danny S

"Would You Like A Menu . . . .

. . . . or have you eaten here before?”

Peter Luger’s has the best tasting steak in the world. I know it. Most New Yorkers know it. There are people all over the world who do too. I have been to Kansas City, Dallas, Chicago throughout the Midwest – eaten steaks there and in fact have had steak all over country and although I am not claiming to be expert I sure as hell know what I like. Of that I am certainly supremely qualified to rate publicly.

Holy Odin! I even had a pretty damned good piece of beef in Scandinavia – I think it was the year before last - when Myers R from Dallas – and I went to do some Big Book workshops in Denmark. I didn’t even know that Scandinavians knew how to serve charred cow that well.

God bless those Vikings!

Ruth’s Chris – in KC or Manhattan – Smith & Wollesnkys, The Palm, Jesse & Jims or where ever — I have eaten at the best restaurants in the world – beef - prepared by some of the finest chefs on earth - just ask them - and Peter Luger has mastered The Steak and is the best. The flavor cannot be reproduced anywhere else not even by Peter Luger staff themselves. You can use the same exact meat and same prep and cooking methods – you can even be the same chef – and if you try to make a steak anywhere else other than at Peter Luger’s – in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, you will not get the same result. You might geta nice piece of meat – you will not get a Peter Luger’s Porterhouse.

There is a reason for this and I know what it is.

The Peter Luger people know what it is too and I imagine that there are some food critics in the city who also know. Oh and by the way – it has nothing to do with how long it is aged — wet or dry aging — in plastic, not in plastic and all the rest of that fun but in this case irrelevant steak-house lore. Read this entire article and maybe I will let you in on the secret. Just maybe. I am bad – I know. Very bad.

So bad in fact that I am going to say some not so nice things about some people. This is not mere name calling. It is identifying traits of folks and I have no malicious though behind it – it is just that I cannot find better words to describe these folks. So please bear with me. You know, a slut is a slut is a slut and someone who is is stupid is stupid is stupid. AA is not a religion and all but a few disgruntled ex-members who probably never should have attempted to ever belong to the fellowship well know that.

They know it because AA has informed them that AA is not a religion – and has requested that it not be considered one.

Most people have the decency and respect to abide by AAs wishes. They know it because they are aware that AA encourages its members to go out and to discover their own religious denomination to which they can subscribe and belong – no religion can do that and still be religion itself. They know it because it is plain that if they were to call themselves ‘a religion’ and then folks came to AA looking for one, there would be mass disappointment with what they found there. There would be a million times the number of pissed off people looking for religions and couldn’t find one then there are those who never wanted one and who claims they ran into it in AA.

Man if you go to AA looking for a religious experience you are in for one great disappointment.

There are folk however who do not have the brain capacity to see beyond top layers of information around them – they have just enough natural curiosity to lift up the top layers of things – just enough to get their “Inspector Gadget” button but not smart enough to go any deeper than that.

These are the conspiracy theory types who are more impressed with themselves and by their own natural God given inquisitiveness than they are by the complete truth that they fall for the trap set by the spirit that holds their strings and who lives just out of sight – behind their own ignorance and ego.

They manage to squeeze a peek just under the surface and as the begin to climb in get stuck with one foot still planted on the outside – unable to ever get beyond that – they live somewhere in a limbo of ignorance and self absorbed non-intelligent intelligence. UFO people are like that. People who think that President Bush ordered two Boeings to suicide bomb themselves into the Twin Towers taking thousands of men, women and children with them – are like that.

The “AA-is-a-religion” people are like that too. They see only bogeymen in church basements. They ignore logical expression of intent and purpose and see things where those thinks do not exist. They see a column of smoke and assume that someone must have exploded a bomb. They smell beef cooking and assume someone is making hamburgers. They hear someone praying and assume that person must be a religious zealot. They see water and figure it must be raining.

All the while all that it was was simply the sous chef in the kitchen praying that he not get terminated from his job for burning the fillet Mignon and setting off the sprinkler system.

Their entire view of the world is so twisted and distorted – the are so impressed with their own inquisitiveness that that they cannot see far enough past the slightly obscured to make decisions in that world for themselves or for others that keep them even within “normal operating parameters, Captain”, Data on Star Trek might say.

They are as likely to go to Benihana for a steak as they are to the Airport Diner for Kushikatsu. They wouldn’t know where to get a good steak or even know that there is steak of a quality beyond their experience. If they were ever to obtain the presence of mind to sit down with a knife an fork, fold a napkin over a leg and slice a bite to chew they would be shocked. Their world is fantasy. Steak is real. Peter Luger’s is real.

While they worship Dr. Drew, the Minnesota Model, doctors and those who “The Board” that ‘certifies’ – those minions of so called professional “Addictions Counselors” who are the new priests in the cult of The First Church of Applied Recoverology - as they point and chant “Cult, Cult” at Practitioners of The Twelve Steps. Of course AA is a cult! But who gives a flying fig? So are the Boy Scouts of America, NASCAR fans and Don Imus listener. Give me a fucking break!

The difference between the self appointed, “Board Certified” amateurs and the Fellowship of the Spirit is that the Fellowship IS real deal. It ain’t no Sizzler or Tads.

As for Middle-of-Road solutionsists, well their mommas are so fat that . . . . uh, wait . . . . Uh Oh. . . . I just thought of something. Not only was I drunk the last time ate at Luger’s but I have never once been there sober – and n ow I remember what happened. I went there for diner.It was after work and instead of going home afterward I had my limo driver head back over the Brooklyn Bridge and into the city. I didn’t come home till the next day.

Never mind. Forget that you read this.

Sorry. Merry Christmas.

Peace,

Danny S

Icelandic Alkies Know Better Than We Do

_{NOTE: Those of you for whom “Keep Coming Back” is a solution for your drinking and go around telling folks that things like “Just don’t drink and good to meetings” is some sort of solution to alcoholism may not enjoy this article. But if you will keep an opened mind you may find that everything here is on hundred percent AA. As always anything that cannot be reconciled with the Big Book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” can be safely discarded. Likewise anything that can be reconciled – discard at your own risk and peril if you are a true alcoholic. Anything discard it without bothering to investigate – well, then more fool you. DJS}

_{“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is contempt prior to investigation.” Author Unknown*}

Estimating from the emails I get it seems that many people, whether in the fellowship or not, are not are not familiar with how a Twelve Step “Call” works.

People from Iceland, Australia, the UK, Denmark and Norway seem to have a better grip than many of us in the USA – and AA started here. Man!

Where the hell have you all been with those multi-decade medallions and greying sideburns? SHEEESH

So maybe I can clear up misunderstanding for the uninitiated – and if you have not gotten your understanding of how to perform a twelve step call or what “carry this message” means out of the book, Alcoholics Anonymous then you are the uninitiated and I don’t give a crumb how many “24s” you have “under your belt”, how many IIs and Vs there are on those little brass medallions which you are so found of constantly mentioning to others in meetings — or even how many “pigeons” you have.

If you are sitting meetings telling folks that you have not done the steps – have meandered through them through an “AWOL” or some other “system” or movements or for whatever reason NOT yet recovered from alcoholism – then YOU ARE A NEWCOMER! and people like me – our numbers are wordwide and high – can help you if you will set aside your overblown “Look Ma. Not drink’ today!” ego and admit it.

Anyone with minimal reading comprehension skills can get clear on these things if only they would use the Big Book – instead of some some MOR sponsor or somebody told them in a meeting or in rehab. People that can’t read c n have someone learned read it to them.

That’s how I straightened myself out and began using its practicable applications out in the field, which is where we preform our avocation – not in church basements so much.

Do not follow me for the directions! We have a book with a chapter called “Working With Others” for that. I am just generalizing here and this is my understanding of what the Big Book directions say and call for and my experience in practicing it. Clear? Good.

There are two approaches – not approaches in the sence of “methodologies” I mean two actual ‘approachings‘ when we physically “go visit “ the still suffering alcoholic with the intent of taking him through the Twlevs Steps. Each of these “approach”es has very specific tasks to perform and results hoped for. I cover these all when I do Twelve Step workshops but for now I will generalize and not get into the minutia of it – but you can easily reference the Big Book for the details – what to say, when to say it, what not to say, what to do – it is very clear and precise. That’s twice I’ve said it, now- OK?

The Big Book directions are interesting too, especially if you are not familiar with the process. Your mind would boggle if you saw what I see doing this work in the field. It warms the heart and soul and so encourages one to continue with the work. It is immensely satisfying.

To see families reconcile – lives and health restored and then to watch as these folks then carry it on to other sufferers with the exact same results is sometimes astonishing!

To see men who upon meeting are lying in a fetal position for days and sometimes weeks at a time, in their own vomit and diarrhea, near death – eschewed by hospitals, failures of ten or twenty treatment center residencies – and just a few weeks later are up, holding a job and reuniting with children, parents and spouses, well frankly it is just too much for words. Even for someone as verbose as I.

First it’s helpful to know why we do this work and why it is so effective when “run” properly:

“Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they are very ill.” (89:0)

So let’s take Bill Dodsen as an example – the well known “Man in the bed”. Bill and Bob go after him. Notice the method used in the twelve step work Bill and Bob were performing:

“The man in the bed was told of the acute poisoning from which he suffered, how it deteriorates the body of an alcoholic and warps his mind. There was much talk about the mental state preceding the first drink.” (157:5)

Deterioration of the body? What were they talking about? Liver cirrhosis? – Wet brain” – Pancreatitis“ - Hangovers? Not likely.

They explained to him what they knew about the progressive sensitivity to alcoholic – called “physical allergy” by Dr. Silkworth – and how if any alcohol whatever enters his body the phenomenon of craving would kick in.

This is where we hear much confusion even amongst our own members. Alcoholics don’t CRAVE alcohol until the first drink has been swallowed. (Or alcohol has somehow entered the body through alcoholically contaminated foods, mouthwash, medications, ect)

We alkies don’t sit at home or in our offices “Jones’n” for a drink – when there isn’t any already in our bodies.

So if we cannot have any alcohol in our bodies without experiencing a craving for MORE, and we don’t CRAVE more until the first alcohol is introduced, then why can’t we “Just Don’t Take The First Drink” – thereby avoiding the CRAVING for more? That should solve the problem, right?

Right! It sure should -and for some people it does – unless they are alcoholics of our kind – the real alcoholic for whom AA was created.

What they explained to Bill D shed light on why he couldn’t do that – why ALL alcoholics cannot do that. They talked “much” about the mental state preceding – BEFORE – taking the drink. That means they explained to him the obsession or in other words the alcoholic insanity of taking that ONE DRINK even though his past history adequately demonstrated an inability to stop (Craving more) when he needed or wanted to stop.

Once he “Got it” – then “Getting it” was not enough. You know like a junkie gets a fix and that seems to be enough? He’s good! Alcoholics are different – they MUST have more immediately. He recognizes this in himself and sees that this continuous cycle makes his kind of condition a hopeless one. (That means he took Step One)

Finally:
The two friends spoke of their spiritual experience and told him
about the course of action they carried out. (157:1)

They wrap the presentation with their solution to the problem – that is the “What happened” part you may have heard of in the formula. What happened was that they had a spiritual awakening/experience that came about by “Action they carried out”. Then they outlined that program of action to Bill D – the Twelve Steps.

Now all our friend Bill D needs to do is acknowledge that the spiritual solution will work (Step Two) and to make a decision to follow the course of action they outlined to him. (Take Step Three).

It’s a simple effective formula for carrying this message.

• Explain the allergy/craving -what you “were like”
  
• Explain the obsession/insanity – again part of what “you were like”
  
• Explain the spiritual experience (This is “what happened” – which can’t be done if we haven’t actually HAD a spiritual experience ourselves) and explain the 12 Steps. (Again – can’t be done if we haven’t taken them)
• Tell him what life is like now AFTER recovery. (“What it’s like now” – It’s going to be GOOD — if you have recovered)
  

BUT WAIT!

If my prospect cannot identify with my explanation of allergy AND obsession – I may not be dealing with a real alcoholic. Even if he IS, he may not really WANT to stop. (SO I ASK HIM!) If so, there will be no need to proceed. But I have still been helpful – now he is free to seek help for whatever OTHER problem he may have that has brought him to this horrible juncture.

“After satisfying yourself that your man wants to recover and that he will go to any extreme to do so, you may suggest a definite course of action.” (142:4)

Have any of us ever gone on a “Twelve Step” call prior to actually understanding the disease – been able to explain it as Bill and Bob have done – had a spiritual experiences and recovered through the twelve steps?

I have. Shame on me – and shame on anyone who hasn’t experienced the solution, hasn’t learned how to explain it – yet attempts to pass it on to another alcoholic whose very life sits in our hands.

If the guy/gal is a real alkie – willing to go through the simple process of the Twelve Steps and adopt its new way of living on a continuing basis – then these folks WILL HAVE a spiritual awakening that BLOWS THE MIND! So much so, they are sometimes ridiculed and eschewed by contemporary “meeting goers” and others who call themselves “still recovering” alcoholics who have not done or experienced what he has.

But they never drink again and they pass on to others exactly what has been passed onto them in the same way it was passed to them. It’s fast acting.It’s effective and I have NEVER seen it not work for any real alcoholic willing to really try. Heavy drinkers and problem drinkers hardly EVER “really try”. They don’t HAVE to! They can just moderate or quite on their own – they put the willpower that they already posses to put the “plug in the jug” and leave the fellowship – or else they stay and avail themselves of the social benefits – coffee, chicks or hunks, a night out of the house, friends. Some even go on the Internet passing on their middle-of-the-road solutions which worked for them but is deadly for us real alkies whose malady can only be conquered through a spiritual awakening. Oh, did I mention that “spiritual awakening” is the only purpose of the 12 Steps – not “to stop drinking”? I probably did.

Some even go on the Internet passing on their middle-of-the-road solutions which worked for them but is deadly for us real alkies whose malady can only be conquered through a spiritual awakening. Oh, did I mention that “spiritual awakening” is the only purpose of the 12 Steps – not “to stop drinking”? I probably did.

I hope this give you a good idea of how the twelve steps for alkies like me work and why I am so passionate about recovery and Twelve Steps. But more importantly if you are in a twelve step fellowship – are a real, true alcoholic and re being told that it’s OK to just show up to ” show others that it can be done” – share your lifes problems, bring cookies and make coffee and shake hands with a newcomer in the parking lot and that THAT stuff is a sufficient substitute for what the co-founders prescribe as a vital and necessary part of the AA Program of recovery – then you are being lied to and are in great danger and it is no wonder that you think you think that you will “never recover” . I believe you. You are probably correct.

The ‘Circle’ in the Circle and Triangle isn’t a freakin’ Scooter Pie, OK?

Peace,

Danny S

* The co-authors may have been wrong since Herbert Spenser cannot be attributed to this quote. See here.

Big Book "Nut"

There are lots of non-alcoholic people, heavy drinkers perhaps, who, for some strange reason, still insist that AA let them become members and go to meetings everyday.

Wait. Hold on. I promise to continue on that thought – but before I do let me explain something first.

I’m a Big Book “Nut” – the kind your “Middle of the Road solutions” based friends think you should stay away from – who thinks that our wonderfully spiritually volume contains the clear-cut directions with regard to AAs Program of recovery and the Fellowship as well.

I sometimes blog stuff here that are mere observations and experiences that I as a recovered alkie have had. If you aren’t doing what I am doing and living a design for living which I am living – then your expedience is recovery is probably going to be entirely different than mine. If you say you will NEVER recover – I BELIEVE YOU!

If you say you solved your drinking problem in a different way – I believe THAT TOO!

(There is a “complaint department” link to the left. I welcome your civil disagreements)

I have been blessed with incredible opportunities to speak from the podiums – and I do so on God’s time not my own. I have the time and I have the Big Book for the message – and for these reasons there is likely no sordid spot on this planet that I would not go to – in order to assist others in maintaining our Primary Purpose. (I get to go to nice places too.)

Similarly there is probably no account out of the past or present that I will not tell of and that includes mentioning some of the people with whom I used to drink. Not by name of course. But I use others stories and how they COMPARE (yes “compare”) with my own to show the difference between alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinking. Without that knowledge and ability to articulate it – I am useless because there can be no identifying.

With that said, now let me start up again.

Some of the people with whom I used to drink seemed at times obsessed (Mental obsession) with having a drink, yet could stop once taking it (Willpower). I conclude they have no allergy to alcohol. (Physical craving)

Then there were others who once the decided to take a drink, and took it, COULDN’T stop.

I concluded they may have HAD the allergy, but their decision to NOT take a drink or to TAKE a drink was their own. They sanely refrained from taking the first drink at times when it might be prove inconvenient or detrimental.

I, as a real alkie had suffered both the inability to NOT take the first drink COUPLED with not be able to stop, once I took it. That’s Our description of the alcoholic. Both conditions (mental & physical) need to be present in order to fit “our description of the alcoholic”, which to me is only description that counts and describes the person for whom our Program is designed.

I suppose it all hinges on whether or not you believe what our Big Book says about alcoholism.

A person who has the power of choice over whether or not he takes the first drink is NOT an alcoholic, even if he cannot stop once he takes the first drink. (Has the craving)…….And a person who has no choice over whether or not he takes a drink (Mental obsession) but IS able to stop on his own will, is ALSO NOT an alcoholic.

Either of these folks may have a problem with alcohol – but they are not alcoholics of the type for whom AA was created. This of course is according to the authors of our Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, not me. Although I do agree.

So now we are back again to all of those non-alcoholic people, heavy drinkers, who, for some reason still insist that AA allow them to called themselves members. AND WE DO IT! And they come to meetings everyday telling non-alcoholic experiences with their drinking AS IF it had something to do with alcoholism. And it doesn’t

They might have a problem with alcohol, but they don’t HAVE TO come to AA to solve it — but they do anyway — and they are firmly supported by those other non-alcoholics who have previously managed to squeeze their way into AA and wave that short form Tradition Three around to do it.

Peace,

Danny S

Lifeblood Of The Fellowship

What do you do when you get a hold of a prospect for the Fellowship – and the two of you go to your first meeting together? Do you make sure that he or she goes the best meeting a prospect can EVER go to?

That is the ONE meeting especially designed JUST FOR HIM – the one that will turn him from “Prospect” to “Newcomer”

THE OPEN SPEAKER MEETING.(Originally for non-alcoholic spouses of AA members.)

Or do you tell him something untrue like, “They’re ALL good!”

Open Speaker Meetings are the lifeblood gatherings of Alcoholic Anonymous. Especially the LARGE ones where 100 or more people gather and they don’t drink.

Of course you can get some real doggy talks coming off that podium. It depends on whose “incoming”. But at least there’s a a chance that the “this” message will be carried by someone. The atmosphere of such meetings can be absolutely electric at times – especially during anniversary celebrations. And we are loosing them, as AAs success rate continues to decline and we continue to lose membership.

Thanks to the treatment center mentality of “SHARING” in group therapy environments, more and more un-recovered AAs are flocking instead to discussion meetings.

Somehow the LIE that we can SHARE our way clear of our drinking problem — that if we “Get things off our chest” — then WE WON’T DRINK TODAY, is heard and used as a means to treat alcoholism – and it’s NOT a treatment for alcoholism.

Perhaps it is true for the non-alcoholic. But for the real alcoholic, this is a deadly concept. If you are a real alcoholic . . . . . . . YOU AIN’T “SHARING” YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS ONE BUDDYBOY!

I hope I’ve had my last experience of walking into an AA meetings with a newcomer who must find God or he will die, and instead being deluged with dramas about drug use, babysitters, road rage, or someones opinion about how to stay away from a drink for “Just one more day” 0r whatever dribble they think will meet with some “Amens” from the “Middle-of-the-road solutions” brigades — anything BUT the Program of recovery detailed int he Big Book.

If more people saved all of that crap for their sponsors or the parking lot or even the diners, perhaps we wouldn’t see so many real alcoholics leaving and not coming back because their problem is not being able to stay away from a drink; and he is hearing that OUR problem is our stooooopid relationships, job losses, runs in pantyhose or whatever else someone thinks is important to bore us to death with.

I know, I know…”Oh but I feel so good when I can share my problems”. Just listen to that. Is there anything more self-centered that such a statement? That’s what SPONSORS are for.

Have you ever wondered what would happen to the fellowship happen if “Open discussion meetings” were eliminated? I think half of the AA “members” would go away because there would no longer be anything in it for them. For THEM – forget about the newcomer – for THEM!

Anyone contemplating starting a new meeting PLEEEEZE make it an open speaker meeting or a Big Book Study. Those are THE meetings that save the lives of newcomers. The discussion meetings have become $1 an hour amateur psychoanalysis sessions — and if your ego can’t resist then PLEEEEZE at least make it literature based – preferably the Big Book.

Let’s save some lives and not our precious little self-centered egos.

Peace,

Danny S

Bob’s "Mothers Day"

In 1935 Mothers Day – yesterday – fell on on the 11th. It is the day which Bill W made his first approach* to Doctor Bob.

Dr. Bob Smith – hung-over and probably still craving ETOH since he had been plastered the night before and by this time still not detoxed very much – had gone out to get his wife Anne a potted plant for Mothers Day. He got it.

Ahh but alas, by the time he got home with it – he was himself as potted as was Anne’s gift and the loving husband passed out till morning!

But now the following day it is 5:00 PM Bob and Bob and his throbbing head, dragon breath, trembling fingers and maybe a good case of the trotts sits with Bill in the Gate Lodge of at the Stan Hywet Hall. He would not get up to leave untill 11:15 that evening.

The Lodge was home to Henrietta Seiberling. The Hall was home to the home of one of the most famous Rubber Barons of the 20th century Frank Seiberling – Henrietta’s Father in Law. (Messy, messy messy – let’s save it for some other time) - and Bob has given Bill his fifteen minutes of twelve stepping glory.

What Bill has to say to Bob carries so much depth and weight, Bob identifies with it so deeply – that the fifteen minutes lasted FIVE HOURS and fifteen minutes.

You see, Bill knew something about alcoholism – some things which had NEVER occurred to Bob and it caught Bobs attention more than anything else he had ever heard.

Bill has had the spiritual awakening, he has been miraculously freed from alcoholic insanity AND been given the power to help others — and through no genius of his own he is able to carry THIS message to another alcoholic. THIS MESSAGE - the one in the first half of the preceding paragraph you’ve just read.

We NEVER bore the real alkie when we actually talk about real alcoholism – do we?

Now Bob has got ALL THAT INFORMATION about his malady tucked into his educated, intelligent little scientific egg-head. (He’s a doctor don’t forget – an ASS doctor – a proctologist – but still an educated graduate of medical school. If you ever get a swelling hemorrhoid or a case of diverticulitis – THEN tell me the proctologist is low-man on YOUR medical totem pole.)

Yet where does this knowledge land such a brainiac? On a trip out of town, via train – to the week-long American Medical Association Convention in Atlantic City, NJ.

What happened on this trip? He drank all the scotch they had on the train, bought several quarts on his way to the hotel and pretty much drank away the weekend from the bar and from his room . By Tuesday he was starting in the morning. He did not want to disgrace himself so he checked out, bought some more liquor on the way to the train depot and remembers nothing from then on until he woke up at a friend’s house back in Ohio.

Bill Wilson came and got him. And what do you think Bill did with him?

He certainly did not tell Bob, “I guess you wanted to drink more than you wanted to stay sober.” or “You’re not ready. When you are ready THEN I will be available.” and he sure as hell didn’t tell him, “Next time call me BEFORE you drink.” or any such idiotic quip we hear so often in the fellowship.

Bill knew enough about alcoholism and I am sure these remarks would never even occur to him – just as they do not occur to any of US once we learn the true nature of the malady.

No, he took him home and put him to bed, gave him a few drinks that night, and one bottle of beer the next morning.

Now THAT’S TWELVE STEPPING BABY! The next time you are tempted to lie to a newcomer – telling him that Twelve Stepping can just “Showing up” in meetings, bringing in some Oreos and getting your hand up – remember this story. We DO carry the “THIS” message and guess what?

SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO CARRY A DRUNK TOO! I don’t give a shit WHAT your lazy assed, One day at a timin‘, middle-of-the-road solutions sponsor told you.

Happy Mothers Day.

Peace,

Danny S

* (There are several specific approaches in a twelve step call as we learn in Chapter Seven of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous)

What Is Your Truth?

I am a recovered alcoholic.



Is them fightin‘ words?

Someone who has has the spiritual awakening as the result of these steps and who practices these principles in all of their affairs wouldn’t be looking for a fight – if they have recovered then they have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol – even other AA members. Their motives would not be so questionable.

I can tell you why I identify as “Recovered”.

I am saying something different because I am having a different experience in AA and have had different results from being a member than many others who aren’t recovered and aren’t recovering either.

When I identify with my truth – that I have indeed recovered – oftentimes someone will come up to me afterwards to ask me to explain it to them. That one word is sometimes a walking billboard of more hope than they have yet to hear in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.

I am more than happy to oblige them and take advantage of the opportunity. I have gotten sponsees this way.

Lives have been turned to God and people have recovered, because I identify as a “RECOVERED” alcoholic. No one has EVER asked me to explain “Recovering”.

As a real alcoholic newcomer, and not a Disco Drunk, it was a dismal prospect to think that I might never recover and would be sick and insane for the rest of my life. I would not want what a person who never recovered has, no matter how great they thought it was to not have to work with a headache, get into bar fights or how much they thought it was a boon to their existence to have a drivers license back.

I couldn’t give a tittly toot about their DMV issues or how unhappy they have been without their kids Those were never issues for me and I know plenty of people who never drink that have those same issues or worse.

And damn the grimacing torpedoes of middle-of-road disco drunks who disapprove and hold contempt for the miracle.

Many people just don’t seem to understand how low and how deep the soul sickness of a real alcoholic like me gets. “Recovering” holds no banner of hope for me. It carries has no depth – no weight, hardly any promise at all. “Recovered” is an offer of the hope held out, for inspection, ready to be passed on. And Damn the grimacing torpedoes of middle-of-road disco drunks who disapprove and hold contempt for the miracle.

“Recovering” is not attractive to me as a real McCoy. A life filled with work problems, divorces, fits of anger fear and loathing, because after all “I’m STILL RECOVERING, I am NOT A SAINT, I AM LEARNING TO LIVE MY DEFECTS” with no alcohol to ease the misery is no offer of hope to me. I wouldn’t want it!

“Recovered” on the other hand, is VERY attractive. It may be repulsive to the non-alcoholic who can never recover from a disease he hasn’t got, whose drunkologue and whose sad-sack bottom sounds like a cakewalk to the real alcoholic – but to me as a real alcoholic I want what “Recovered offers.” Not what “always be sick” and recovering offers, which is nothing but fellowship and a lifelong commitment to meeting addiction.

Personally I can’t imagine an unrecovered alcoholic having the nerve to say m>“I am a recovered alcoholic” even when looking for a fight. His yet unaddressed fears or what people might think would prevent it. And those who aren’t even real alcoholics who say it, aren’t’ my concern.

Hopefully they’ll just peter out of the fellowship in a few years anyway once they figured out that they aren’t powerless over alcohol and CAN stop on their own willpower.<!–p>

I don’t EVER enjoy fighting with ANYONE over these issues or what I say in a meeting. There is such a thing as healthy debate - but looking for fights in AA over my own experience is a waste of time. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone thank God.

Peace,

Danny S

Spiritual Experience . . . . WHEN?

OPEN ALL DAY.
WE ACCEPT WALK-INS.
NO WAITING!

The impatient humanity in all of us wants to know, “When will I have the spiritual experience?”
The answer to that question is right here in today’s study – it is in Step Five.

“We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience.” (75:2)

NOW? WOW! We begin to have the experience – regardless of what our BELIEFS are. That tells me that even if I have spent much of my life in conflict with God, I will still have a spiritual experience! (Not an awakening!) Talk about promises!

It does not start at some later date, down the road, after we’ve had some “Time under our belt”, or been “Reading the book” for five or ten years – or gained some experience in “Practicing these principles” It is now – right in Step Five.

Very many of us have drastic upheavals or what we call “white light experiences” right now – in this phase of the step taking. Not a few – but MANY! I talk to them – all over the world. It is a frequent occurrence! But not the rule.

Middle-of-the-Roader solutionists do not like to hear this – they aren’t having spiritual experiences as the result of these steps – but it is never-the-less a fact. I think they under rate the power and enormity of this Program and Fellowship.

We are having the “psychic change” required to remove the desire to drink – and we may not have even been going to meetings for a very long time, but we have been meeting the “essential requirements” (14:0) and are starting to cough up the price of freedom – the “destruction of self-centeredness.” (14:1)

When I talk about some of this before doing a fifth step with others, it can have the effect of taking some of the misguided dread of “confession” (Which the 5th step in NOT) that a newcomer has picked up from the opinions of other folks who “shared” their opinions about Step Five without having very much experience with it – perhaps just their own and no fifth step experience gained from working with others.

Having taken step 5 is a good start but giving it and not “hearing” them leaves many us quite inexperienced in this Program and not well suited to be sharing much about Step Five in meetings.

AA meetings are chock full of the sickest, most self-centered people on the planet – and they LOVE to give advice – and you can quote me on that!

Peace,

Danny S