Is That Your Pants I Smell?

I used to sit in meetings of alcoholics anonymous listening to scores of “Over qualifications” (Lies) which threw me off. I’d hear AAs who said they were alcoholics talk about NEVER being able to NOT DRINK. And for me it just wasn’t true. I would, at certain times, be able to stop or moderate.

I figured I must not be as bad as they are, or maybe even not one of them. These occasions became less and less frequent as time went on, that’s true.

But I’ve come to appreciate the stories of “Real alcoholics” today who speak with absolute honesty of their drinking histories, and I’ve come to see that virtually all real alcoholics COULD and DID stop for a day at a time, when necessary. “Round the clock” drinkers just don’t exist,
it’s just not humanly or physiologically possible.

Clancy I. gave a good discourse about this one time. I used to have a CD of him around somewhere. Probably forgot about it and lost it to some dust bunnies under the bed.

I drank until I either ran out of money, time or consciousness. But when I did finally run out, I wasn’t drinking.

Today I tell the truth from the podium. 100%. I am not in business of killing alcoholics with lies or half-truths about me or about alcoholism. When we lie or exaggerate or embellish to newcomers, the KNOW it – when something is not humanly physically possible – they see right through it – and when a real alcoholic suffering from untreated alcoholism loses your trust – then whatever message you THINK you are carrying, goes down in flames. “You can’t bullshit a bullshitter”as the the saying goes — and alkies are the best in town.

I don’t have to impress anyone with how bad things got for me either. It is irrelevant. If I can adequately describe incidents which fully illustrate the mental obsession AND the allergy, I’ve given out enough info which ANY real alcoholic can identify.

This is what my big Book tells me to do when I 12 step. Speaking in meetings has nothing to do with 12 stepping but I imagine the effect can also be carried, at least somewhat, from the podium.

When you talk about things like Obsession combined with Allergy – 4th dimension of existence, the AA code, finding NEW power and no longer being powerless – for the heavy drinkers in the room, there’s just one big SWOOOOOSH sound that goes right over their heads. They cannot identify with your kind of drinking and they can’t identify with your recovery either. But there is nothing so gratifying as hearing 20 or 30 out of 100 drunks laughing with me at my pitch, doing the AA head-bob, and sometimes even crying at a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous as they hear one drunk talk to another.

So will this rant get liars to stop lying? Probably not. What would a liar want with being of maximum service and in helping others anyway? Their purpose of speaking and “sharing” is self-promotion and sounding good or better than their fellows – not in helping newcomers.

Peace,

Danny S

Easier Softer Way

There are people who attend AA meetings and have never cracked a Big Book, and are sober. They can’t help others. They are here to help THEMSELVES. (“I go to meetings to stay sober” - “I go to meetings to see what happens to people who don’t go to meetings” - “You people keep me sober” - “I get what I need”. ect)

Human aid helps them and I wouldn’t dream of having them give up their human aid offered by the Fellowship in favor of drinking. Alcohol kills a hell of a lot of non-alcoholics too. People with drinking problems, hard drinkers, and heavy hitters – whatever you wish to call them, non-alcoholics all – can get sick and die from that poison just as easily as I.

But when they tell the man I am sponsoring and who is making progress and the Sunlight of the Spirit in beginning to shine on him, his wife is considering reconciliation, the desire to drink has been abated and an entire transformation is happening right my eyes —-

—– and he is taken out of that fourth dimension of existence by promises of an easier way out – a way paved with meetings, meetings and more meeting, and postponement of the spiritual progress the Program offers . . . and that stops growing, his sobriety unravels and he drinks, dies and leaves his little kids fatherless – his wife devastated . . and future alcoholics he might have helped to the same fates – well then you know why I wish for them to “STAY THE HELL AWAY!”
And you think this is OK? MAN! You must not work with many others, huh? Not enough to have lost some to the elusive middle-of-the-road solution – the promise of the easier softer way that we have never found. Not in the Twelve Steps. Not in the Big Book.

Peace,

Danny S