Whose Will?

“Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them.” (27:3)

If this is true then it is no wonder the treatment facilities can’t seem to be of much real help to us real alcoholics. It is also no wonder that those of us who have been exposed to the treatment facility methods who finally DO find the solution to our alcoholism are shocked and sometimes upset to learn we have been duped. For all of the supposed support and alignment that the treatment facilities claim to have WITH AA’s Twelve Steps – we find that most of their methods to be in direct conflict with the Program.

As a sponsor I have my work cut out for me in deprogramming these individuals from the non-spiritual tools they have been given to “work on” themselves. They have been taught to be WILLFUL.

Since the do not bring the client through a spiritual awakening – but instead “counsel” to the client a SELF WILLED “Change of behaviors” there is no real inner change. “You need structure”; “You have to change your behaviors.” “You have to change the way you think” is what folks are told.

Then they get sent into sober living houses with heavy disciplines, rules, curfews, and the threat of being “kicked out” if they don’t comply. This “living” as long as they don’t drink” is fine, they are told.

It may not have bars on the windows – but it IS PRISON with the only primary purpose being to “Not drink” through human mandated structure. For many I suppose it is fine. Self-will is this way of the world. And if your will isn’t strong enough – then submit to the will of “the house”. He’ll get a job. He’ll get a girlfriend. He’ll have a clean bed and roof over his head. All looks well on paper – but MAN, isn’t it better to let God discipline us?

Men I work with, who come out of “Addictions counseling” environments, have been hammered with this whole idea that that they “Must change” their behaviors, they must “Work on myself” and they have been told that the only way to do that is to place themselves into new environments with “structure” – in essence; “Fake it till I make it” – like they are some kind of soulless dogs being checked through a training kennel. “Behavior modification” is what it is and it is the direct opposite of what we know works for real alcoholics.

Behavioral modification is part of a larger school of thought known as Applied Behavioral Analysis and was developed out of research performed on rats and pigeons. Yes, that is how they came up with this stuff – by experiencing on rats and pigeons! The resulting theories and applications are now being applied to human beings to influence our behaviors – the same way that we can modify the behaviors of small, non-sentient creatures.

Make no mistake. The folks utilizing these tools ARE the Mind Controllers! When they can get into a person’s mind. they can control their behaviors. Uh…except for real alcoholics who are “beyond human aid”. Now these folks would have you believe that this may have been true back in the day – of Bill and Bob – but NOW they have made great strides and all that letting God crap is no longer the way to go! AA in now antiquated! They didn’t know back then what we know now! No. . . we are all just rats and pigeons and can be controlled similarly. Yeah right.

But alcoholism is not a behavioral problem. This is a simple fact that those who get paid to help folks change human behaviors really cannot afford to let be known. Heavy drinking might be “behavioral” but true alcoholism stems from a spiritual malady which when “fixed“; we straight out mentally and physically.

As a sponsor I have my work cut out for me in deprogramming these individuals from the non-spiritual tools they have been given to “work on” themselves. They have been taught to be WILLFUL. Their brains have been filled with so much crap designed to keep them looking toward the human solution rather that the God solution that it can be a daunting task unless there is enough desperation and realizing of true powerlessness – and true powerlessness is NOT what treatment center client comes away with. They come away with a false security shield of protection emblazoned with “I CAN DO IT” across it’s front that is pierced by the very first blow of the insane obsession to take a drink – unless that obsession has been divinely removed.

There’s a great little duet of lines in the Book that blows all this human will and right out of the water.

“We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined.” (88:1)

And the way they have “just outlined” are the FIVE things we do throughout our day in the practice of Step Ten. (If you don’t know them – them you aren’t doing them.)

Back in Step Four we get an inkling of just how “Hands Off” we really let ourselves get in the molding of our own being when dealing with fears. It is then, in this inventory process that we are introduce to the “fear prayer” in which we are reminded to ask God to direct our attention to what He would have us be. – Not what WE would have us be.

The points being made is that we aren’t supposed to be forcing our behaviors into how we think they should be. We are to submit to God and let Him do all the changing FOR US. Anything less that that is still playing God.

We hold onto the old idea that “We must change” because God still seems a “flimsy reed” (28:1) to the fearfully faithless. But a new life has been given us – not “Gotten” by us.

The first lesson for me in turning my life (behaviors) and will (thinking) over to God’s care was to stop TRYING. Then let go and live as though God has the place in the new design for living He had all along.

Peace,

Danny S

The Stream Of Life

I was asked a very interesting question today and I thought I’d keep the asker anonymous but share it with readers – (Both of them) – of this blog.

Paraphrasing the question, “What is your take on packing into the stream of life”?

At the end of the day I review as many of the moments as I can recall of the twenty four hours just passed. It appears in my head as a small “Piece” of a long stream (This is where “one-day-at-a-time” has real meaning.) The stream is not only MY life (Life isn’t all about ME – anymore) but the world around – the events of the day, the people I’ve met and the conversations I’ve had and how I have met the stress of each situation. It doesn’t matter if it was a “Good” stress or “Bad” stress.

When I was required to react in some way, then it was a stress – keeping in mind that all kinds of stress are necessary for human and spiritual growth – the same way a flower in a field grows as it faces natural stresses of wind, rain, sun ect. It grows through all of these – upward and nourished.

I always answer this question truthfully “Was I thinking of myself most of the time or was I thinking of what I could do for others, of what I could pack into the stream of life?” – the piece of stream that is the day just lived.

But “. . . we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others.” – so I focus more on WHERE WAS I USEFUL.WHERE DID I pack into the stream?

You see, if I reword it incorrectly to mean “Did I pack into the stream.” Then I will never have a “YES” answer – because each day has its own agnostic moments when I HAVE experienced selfishness, self-centeredness, dishonesty and fear and I “forgot” that it is not I who is in charge of those moments but my Creator. Hopefully I have been utilizing the four actions of Step Ten to handle these as they appeared (cropped up)

If I focus solely on where I failed, I would go to bed each night a complete failure in life – and I certainly not.

It is the 12th of 12 nighttime questions when I for me to locate during the day those times “WHERE” I WAS “THINKING” of packing into the stream of life – not “Did I succeed” in packing it full to capacity. I am not God or Jesus or Buddha or a saint.

So by simply “locating” the spots in the day where my thoughts were NOT focused on ME but on others, I get to see two things: 1) just how defective I still am in this world – and just how much I HAVE growth for the time when my thoughts were totally void of ANY thought for others at all. It apparent to me, because such a small percentage of the entire twenty four hour day WAS NOT focused on others but on MYSELF. This gives me INFORMED cause to ask God to show me how to do it better tomorrow.

It is a positive learning and growing exercise when I do this in this fashion.

If you are interested here is a link to my own prayers which maybe you’ll find useful. And the idea just given is incorporated into it – I believe. dans prayers.doc

If you ask others about this subject and receive some other ideas on that you think I may also find useful, please forward them to me. I am always looking for new perspectives too based on the experience of others. If you are not practicing this principle – then please hold off on the opinions. I can go to an “Open Disgusting” meeting if I ever get a hankering for bullshit. Thanks.

“Forgive me, Majesty. I am a vulgar man! But I assure you, my music is not.”

Peace,

Danny S