Can I Gag now?

So here is Dr. Bob – drunken goat of a medicine man – colorectal surgeon actually – Yeah I’ve referred to him as an “ass doctor” too - but why not afford the man the respect he deserves for a change – a man with a terrible drinking problem and he is hanging out with this group of holy roller Jesus freaks who call themselves the Oxford Group. His poor wife Anne had dragged him there – hoping to find him help. Only it was not working.

We see this type of failure to solve the problem all the time today – when real alcoholics leave AA to “Go to church”. The can go to church all they want but unless there is a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism or a “spiritual awakening” as it is used in AA parlance – nothing happens except that we now have a drunken alcoholic churchman. Maybe you know a few. Hell, maybe you know a few clergy who have not yet found the spiritual solution to their problems. I have met several.

Bob does eventually ‘get it’ and recover from alcoholism but not doing only this. Something had to change and it was Bill W and what Bill brought with him to add to Bobs spiritual pursuits that kicked Bob over the fence to permanent sobriety

When we take a historical perspective of the events that came to pass back in the day – back in Akron – we tend to focus on Bill’s actions with regard to Doctor Bob – what Bill did to carry the this message to him and that is well and good and of extreme import – but just for moment let’s see if we can also examine not Bills action but Bob’s REaction to Bill’s action. What were the results of Bills actions and how did it directly affect Dr. Bob?

If you will recall, Bob was going to give Bill only fifteen minutes of his precious time at Henrietta’s place _{^{(See photo below)}} – time he probably would have preferred to spend getting rid of his hangover gotten from his last drunken escapade when he somehow manages to sprawled himself under the Smith’s kitchen table – and after coming home from shopping for Mothers Day potted plant for Anne. Yeah right Bob. You’re e as potted as the plant pal.

Bob has planted himself into the midst of a serious group of spiritually minded folk who have a way of life that will later be the very base formation of the Twelve Steps – yet the solution still eludes him. What could be wrong? Why isn’t there a spiritual solution for ol’ Bob Smith?

Simple. He never cleaned house. He had not inventoried analyzed and come to grips with his resentment, fears and harms to to other and completed making his amends to all he owed. He had not made it his life’s ambition to be of maximum service to God and his fellows.

If he had been in an AA Group – which he was not at the time – there weren’t any yet – he would have been quite the dead weight there – being absolutely useless in maintaining his Group’s Primary Purpose. All he did was “Go to (Oxford) meetings” , and “suit up and show up.” It failed him. Bob is no ordinary EtOH abusing fool. He’s a real, true alcoholic. Dyed in the wool.

At Henrietta’s when he heard Bill speak from the perspective of someone who shared his exact same problem – the message that Bill carried – THEN the Oxford message could begin to take on depth and weight. Bob could truly identify with Bill, so much so that the fifteen-minute meeting which began at 5PM did not end till 11:15.

Do not forget these were two Oxfords Groupers who were meeting for the first time. Not two AAs. There was no AA yet. One man, Bill, was working the Oxford Program. The other man (Bob) was “Just showing up” – not placing those six Oxford tenets into his life.

Although he had the Oxford Group for several years BEFORE Bill had ever even HEARD of them, it was working for Bill and not Bob because Bill was actually working the Oxford tenets. Sounds like the varied results we see in AA today, does it not?

The groundwork for the Twelve Stepping procedure that we find detailed in the Big Book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” was being created — a process which far too many of us do not know enough about. Bill did not talk to Bob about his drinking escapades. Bill came to Bob with the allergy theory and the obsession of the mind theory and tied these into Bobs already existing spiritual knowledge.

Bill combined what he knew of alcoholism with the God solution of the Oxfords. But he would never have been able to do it unless Bill knew of alcoholism and used that hook.

I cannot even begin to be helpful to other sick and suffering alkies in a way that brings them to the common solution without all of these tools — the same tools with which that Bill worked on Bob.

” . . . the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is properly armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours. Until such an understanding is reached, little or nothing can be accomplished”. (18:2)

Little or nothing! The ex- problem drinker who is yet un-recovered, or still recovering – who has no idea what it is about him that makes him fit “our description of the alcoholic” (60:3) cannot win the entire confidence of another alcoholic – not in a few hours – not in a few years – not ever. Nothing will be accomplished except perhaps to confuse the poor son of a bitch and maybe even kill him.

So why on earth would anyone want to say something as stupid to newcomers as “I don’t know how this works all I know is that it does”? Gag me with a spoon!

Peace,

Danny S

Message Of Death

As a newcomer, I was devastated to be told that no one in AA had the answer.

Yet that’s what some folks told me.

Can you imagine if Doctor Bob had that kind of talk around? Well I guess he did for a long time. In fact that’s what most alcoholics came to eventually. They became labeled as hopeless and were put away in asylums eventually.

But then Bob met Bill. And Bill didn’t tell him he had no solution. He told him quite the opposite – and in that was hope for Dr. Bob.

Here’s what Dr. Bob has to say about Bill W’s message:

“He knew all the answers, and certainly not because he had picked them up in his reading.” (The Doctor’s Nightmare”)

Here’s how Bill viewed it: “We told him what we knew of alcoholism and the answer we had found. He made a beginning.” (35:3)

Today I have gratitude that indeed that presumption of mine was as dead wrong as the advice from folks who told me they didn’t have the answer.

So when I meet a newcomer I let him know flat out – that the answer was passed onto me – and I will do everything in my power to pass it on to him. I tell let him know that There IS A Solution and then I tell him How It Works. Then we work it together – and recover from this terrible curse called alcoholism.

Under no circumstance do I ever let a newcomer think that no one has the answers – because if he thinks that, he might go away – just like I almost did – just like I see people do and die.

I do this, because the avocation is not in killing people. I have an avocation of helping others recover from alcoholism. Some say “I don’t have the power to kill or save anyone”. Really? So Charles Manson doesn’t exist? So no lives have been saved through the works of our co-founders. Well, here’s a bit of news: Each of these men carried messages and those messages produced results.

If we take the fatalists position that “Nothing I say can kill anyone or save anyone” – then there is NO POINT in carrying this message to the alcoholic who suffers then – is there? It’s all predetermined by God! Nothing to do. Go home. No need to be helpful to anyone. It’s ALL in God’s hands! PUHLEEEZE!

If you have recovered – if you have sought and found the solution to the problem through the path tread by our co-founders – you may ridiculed. You may be called arrogant and a “Know it all” by those who do NOT know the answer – who instead prefer to proffer a false modesty found in the idea that “I don’t know how this works – I just that it does”.

But it is worth the cause, I promise you. Because when that newcomer needs someone to explain to him how this works – and he runs into the AA Dummy instead if you . . . And he hears something like, “Keep coming back” instead of the solution to his problem . . . HE’S DEAD!

Remain a dummy and there may be no trace of blood on your physical fingers, but let me ask you this, “What kind of messenger do you want to be? One who carries the message of hope? One who carries the message of apathy. Or one who carries the message of death?”

You will have one of these messages. I assure you that. Which will it be?

“We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others.” (132:2)

Peace,

Danny S

Bob’s "Mothers Day"

In 1935 Mothers Day – yesterday – fell on on the 11th. It is the day which Bill W made his first approach* to Doctor Bob.

Dr. Bob Smith – hung-over and probably still craving ETOH since he had been plastered the night before and by this time still not detoxed very much – had gone out to get his wife Anne a potted plant for Mothers Day. He got it.

Ahh but alas, by the time he got home with it – he was himself as potted as was Anne’s gift and the loving husband passed out till morning!

But now the following day it is 5:00 PM Bob and Bob and his throbbing head, dragon breath, trembling fingers and maybe a good case of the trotts sits with Bill in the Gate Lodge of at the Stan Hywet Hall. He would not get up to leave untill 11:15 that evening.

The Lodge was home to Henrietta Seiberling. The Hall was home to the home of one of the most famous Rubber Barons of the 20th century Frank Seiberling – Henrietta’s Father in Law. (Messy, messy messy – let’s save it for some other time) - and Bob has given Bill his fifteen minutes of twelve stepping glory.

What Bill has to say to Bob carries so much depth and weight, Bob identifies with it so deeply – that the fifteen minutes lasted FIVE HOURS and fifteen minutes.

You see, Bill knew something about alcoholism – some things which had NEVER occurred to Bob and it caught Bobs attention more than anything else he had ever heard.

Bill has had the spiritual awakening, he has been miraculously freed from alcoholic insanity AND been given the power to help others — and through no genius of his own he is able to carry THIS message to another alcoholic. THIS MESSAGE - the one in the first half of the preceding paragraph you’ve just read.

We NEVER bore the real alkie when we actually talk about real alcoholism – do we?

Now Bob has got ALL THAT INFORMATION about his malady tucked into his educated, intelligent little scientific egg-head. (He’s a doctor don’t forget – an ASS doctor – a proctologist – but still an educated graduate of medical school. If you ever get a swelling hemorrhoid or a case of diverticulitis – THEN tell me the proctologist is low-man on YOUR medical totem pole.)

Yet where does this knowledge land such a brainiac? On a trip out of town, via train – to the week-long American Medical Association Convention in Atlantic City, NJ.

What happened on this trip? He drank all the scotch they had on the train, bought several quarts on his way to the hotel and pretty much drank away the weekend from the bar and from his room . By Tuesday he was starting in the morning. He did not want to disgrace himself so he checked out, bought some more liquor on the way to the train depot and remembers nothing from then on until he woke up at a friend’s house back in Ohio.

Bill Wilson came and got him. And what do you think Bill did with him?

He certainly did not tell Bob, “I guess you wanted to drink more than you wanted to stay sober.” or “You’re not ready. When you are ready THEN I will be available.” and he sure as hell didn’t tell him, “Next time call me BEFORE you drink.” or any such idiotic quip we hear so often in the fellowship.

Bill knew enough about alcoholism and I am sure these remarks would never even occur to him – just as they do not occur to any of US once we learn the true nature of the malady.

No, he took him home and put him to bed, gave him a few drinks that night, and one bottle of beer the next morning.

Now THAT’S TWELVE STEPPING BABY! The next time you are tempted to lie to a newcomer – telling him that Twelve Stepping can just “Showing up” in meetings, bringing in some Oreos and getting your hand up – remember this story. We DO carry the “THIS” message and guess what?

SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO CARRY A DRUNK TOO! I don’t give a shit WHAT your lazy assed, One day at a timin‘, middle-of-the-road solutions sponsor told you.

Happy Mothers Day.

Peace,

Danny S

* (There are several specific approaches in a twelve step call as we learn in Chapter Seven of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous)

Was Doctor Bob Lying?

This is a rerun of a previous article dating back May 3, 2006.
Poor Doctor Bob must do a double spin in his coffin every time someone in meeting justifies not recovering because they think Bob “white knuckled” his sobriety for two and a half years – AFTER he had completed the steps and began carrying this message.

I know how confused non-alkies get over words like “Crave” – “Obsess” – “Desire”, even “Insanity”. Man, it’s a good thing their lives don’t depend upon understanding how we use those words.

I am constantly amazed how many people in the Fellowship don’t know that alcoholics can’t physically crave alcohol until they have already taken the first drink – never before.

Of course, Bob would have HAD to drink alcohol in order to crave alcohol– by “Our description of the alcoholic which clarifies our understanding of the word “Crave“.

Historical facts tell us that Bob’s last drink was on June 10, 1935 – in the hospital parking lot with Bill W - the same day he completed his amends. It would be IMPOSSIBLE for Bob to crave alcohol AFTER THAT DAY!

Alcoholics don’t PHYSICALLY CRAVE ALCOHOL IF THEY DON’T DRINK ALCOHOL! Bob didn’t drink alcohol after his last drink.

Get it? Good!

Now stop the word play, and Big Book cherry picking, STOP telling newcomers that it’s OK to NOT have the obsession removed via a spiritual awakening – will ya. It’s NOT ok!

Peace,

Danny S