Misery Loves Company

There’s a whole breed of folks today who like to say that they, “Go to meetings to hear what happens to people who don’t go to meetings.”

Does that sound a little sick to you? I mean, what kind of a person lives off of — and looks forward to — the misery of others? When did AA become a society of parasites?

In a small way it sort of reminds me of the NASCAR fan theory where fans flock to races not to rejoice with the winners but to take pleasure in the potential and actual wipe outs, injuries and suffering of others. You know . . . just having to look at the train wreck – there’s a sick pleasure in it for some. I happen to LOVE NASCAR racing -but I am one of those folks who get into the whole race – the car, driver and race histories – the particular race issues.

This brings to mind page 52. Most alcoholics I know can identify with what we call the “bedevilments”. I had opportunity just last night to look at these with a newly sober alcoholic at a treatment center. We laughed together just reading it as she blushed with total recognition. This is a common response. It accurately described the way she lives – the way we ALL live until we discover the truth about our malady, decide to do something about it and then vigorously pursue the solution.

If your Book is inconvenient (or your too lazy) here they are:

1. We were having trouble with personal relationships,
2. we couldn’t control our emotional natures,
3. we were a prey to misery and depression,
4. we couldn’t make a living,
5. we had a feeling of uselessness,
6. we were full of fear,
7. we were unhappy,
8. we couldn’t seem to be of real help to other people

My life was rife with every one of these – before AND AFTER I came to AA and became an ardent “Meeting Maker”. Just “showing up” is no panacea for misery I tell you.

Today that has been turned around 180 degrees – because I have recovered and when that happens we become God reliant instead – and so I don’t go to meetings looking for fellow commiserates with whom to identify and feel better.

These days I don’t HAVE to identify with another suffering alcoholic. I already went through that alcoholic identification when I was first twelve Stepped into the Fellowship of the Spirit by a man who was armed with the facts about himself – who KNEW something about alcoholism and KNEW how to tell me about it.

Now “Still suffering” alcoholics have to identify with ME! — So THEY can recover from WHAT I HAVE to bring to THEM!

I have ALREADY recovered and received my gift! Recovered folks such as myself identify with these bedevilments of the past and one of the reasons we seem so grateful after we recover is that although we recognize them – was also know that they are no longer integral posts of our existence, like they were before.

This is a wonderful lesson one can learn and practice out of the Big Book, “Alcoholics “. When just “reading” it – this is not be so apparent – but it DOES become operative once someone practices the few simple “RULES” detailed so precisely in that book. It is a well written and detailed set of proposals that becomes a new design for living.

Everyone has some sort of “Design for living” - whether they admit it or not. We tend to THINK we are free from such, when it is based upon self – but one thing I’ve learned is that we can also be SLAVES TO SELF. That is not freedom.

The Twelve Step design is different than that most of us live under because it is totally altruistic and ego deflating – and from that comes true freedom.

Un-recovered alcoholics can find themselves constantly looking for more out of their lives – discontent – going from meeting to meeting and listening for a new “Happy-thought” du jour - we can take with us so we can feel good about our lives – so we can forget that we are living on page 52 of the Big Book. God forbid.

Peace,

Danny S

Misery and Depression

It’s one thing to be sober, but quite another to be sober AND happy about it. I use those pesky steps, the AA solution, instead of my own solution and as a result I can say that rarely if ever do I have a bad day. I just don’t have them.

I learned in AA that the inner condition that occurs if an alcoholic does not deal with the spiritual malady will give me car load of misery first, then I’ll drink.

Stopping going to meetings is the LAST thing I’ll do, not the first. First, I’ll stop enlarging my spiritual life through practicing these steps in all my affairs, then I’ll start managing my own life and become a prey to misery and depression, then I I’ll drink.

I cant’ remember the last time I had a day that “got to me”, whereas it was a frequent occurrence prior to putting this Program into daily practice. Which is good for AA, because now I’m not taking up the meetings precious time crying about my bullshit when a newcomer , dying from untreated alcoholism , is sitting there waiting to hear some hope.

Being restless, irritable and discontent are conditions we know lead a real drunk to drink. I am always on the lookout for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear.

These are always going to crop up and when they do I ask God at once to remove them. I call another drunk immediately and if necessary I make amends quickly if anyone was harmed.

Then I think about someone I help and do it. Pretty simple this AA. I haven’t had a bad day doing this for years now. I guess that’s what is meant by contented sobriety.

Being restored to sanity, living a life that is manageable, and having a new Power over alcohol are all the promises which AA has delivered to me on a silver platter.

Peace,

Danny S