A Concrete Soution

Common peril is only ONE element, which binds us. The other element is the common solution, which we share as alcoholics.

If the solution to your drinking problem is different from my solution, then we will not share the same experience and enjoy the same feeling of togetherness.

If “Whatever works” FOR YOU is not exactly the same as “Whatever works” for me, there is no cement with which to build.

This is why when I go to a meeting where God is not talked about as the solution, I feel as though I am in another Fellowship. It is why when people identify as “Addicts” and not “Alcoholic” that there is a sense of being in the wrong place for me as an alcoholic. It is why when methods of human aid such as meetings, sponsorship and “Putting the plug in the jug” are touted as the principle means of treatment, I still feel as though I do not belong with this group.

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If “Whatever works” FOR YOU is not exactly
the same as “What works” for me, there is
no cement with which to build.

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Common peril AND common solution are both necessary elements in our Fellowship. The common peril must be 1) an allergy to alcohol combined with an obsession of the mind; the common solution must be 2) found God who intervened, changed the person and removed the problem.

If you are a drug addict who does not also have the mental obsession AND physical allergy to alcohol – we will NEVER be on the same page. If you are a heavy drinker without the mental obsession AND the physical allergy to alcohol, the same holds true – regardless of how many houses you’ve lost, cars you’ve wrecked, women you’ve destroyed, children you’ve sired or days logged in hospitals and rehabs.

Your eyes can be as yellow as a New York City cab and you liver could be falling into the toilet when you poop – and STILL we are not on the same page.

Any other presentation of any other problem and/or solution, even under the guise of AA, means “Nothing to offer” for this alky – and out the door I go. If this happens and I am an un-recovered alcoholic I am in a SHITLOAD of trouble. And in even BIGGER trouble if I “Keep coming back” to the “Not drinking today” clubhouse.

(See: KEEP IT GREEN)

Peace,

Danny S

One Alcoholic Talking To Another

But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined (p. 17).”

“THAT” of course is “The feeling of having shared in a common peril”. (p. 17)
So what DID hold them together? The “Common solution” to the “Common problem” – namely:

ALCOHOLISM and GOD. That’s it. There are no other problems and there is no other solution which AA addresses. And there’s no place to discuss anything else.

I never went to a rehab, a detox facility; lose my family, a hospital, prison or jail. Never got a DUI conviction, nor did I ever land before a judge. My kids don’t hate me, I career is doing well and my car runs just fine. So when folks convey these horrific experiences in AA meetings, with the though that its is helping someone, it sure as hell isn’t helping me!

Hell, I rode around Wall Street and Manhattan in the back of a limousine popping Budwiesers. I don’t tell people that in meetings hoping they might identify. It WON’T HELP ANYONE – except maybe someone who drank on Wall Street and rode around in a limousine.

Who told them to do this? Crappy sponsors – that’s who. Somehow we’ve confused “sharing” in meetings with “Working with others” and instead of picking up a puking drunk who need to be brought to God through the Steps and taking through it – we’ve begun laying anything that comes to our minds in meetings if we think someone will like it . . . follow it with, “Oh yeah, the steps are good”, and call THAT “Carrying this message”.

If I read the Big Book, I am told precisely HOW to carry this message, and trust me . . . it isn’t by launching pithy shares in AA meetings. (Even if I DO happen to mention the steps. Mentioning the steps is not carte blanche to say any thing I want.)

The message is carried by one alcoholic talking another – NOT one alcoholic sharing with sixty in a room. I know you got used to that stuff in treatment – and that’s wonderful . . . go back there and do it. Or go get a referral for some good group therapies. But lets’ keep in our Primary Purpose – that is helping others recover from alcoholism. Not helping ourselves to the relief that”getting things “off our chest” at the newcomers expense.

Meetings are about HIM. Not you.

How else is he ever going to get his own recovery to transmit to another?

My pigeons carry messages, why can’t yours? Maybe you never carried to him in the first place.

Peace,

Danny S