Atheists Can Recover Too
When they ‘come to believe’
In the fellowship there are “Haves” and there are “Have Nots” I know . . . I know. There is the kind of person who recovers and there is the kind that does not. (149:3)
It sounds divisive. It is divisive. I didn’t create the divide. I didn’t polarize the fellowship. lease don’t shoot the messenger. Those who have decided to re-write the AA Program and bring in their outside issues and new solutions from their counselors, shrinks and TV shows that are nothing more than Public Relations devices and promotional tools for high priced rehab centers – like VH1′s “Celebrity Rehab” or A&Es “Intervention” * – have — and those who blindly assumed that those people and program are correct have. I just observe it – and you have observed it too. I think it is just as suckey as you probably do but what is the point in pretending that it does not exist.
There is no “I am better than you” inherent in such observations – but I will tell you that it is infinitively better to recover from alcoholism than not to recover – and if you don’t believe that then your are some kind of nut.
Just because one does not drink anymore and gets to keep a paycheck does not mean everyone else gets to enjoy it too – not if I am still a miserable, restless bastard who could really use a drink.
I have lived as a “Still recovering” “Just don’t drink today and everything will be OK” – “If I didn’t drink today then I am a winner” kind of AA alcoholic for enough years to compare it well with being currently and fully recovered. For non-alcoholics who have merely a drinking problem to overcome that type of living might be just fine – but for the true alcoholic like me and maybe you – its is one of the crumbiest ways to live life imaginable.
Haven’t we lived in a fantasy world long enough during our drinking lives? I speak of course of those who have “had a spiritual awakening” as the result of these steps . . . . .
and . . . . . those who have not - especially those who have no intention of having one – aren’t doing squat to have one – and are telling newcomer alcoholics that that is perfectly fine.
That would include those who think that since they cannot recall having had a spiritual awakening then they must be having “spiritual awakenings of the educational variety”.
If you are not one hundred percent sure whether or not you have had the spiritual awakening of the type that we are promised the Big Book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” – the kind the co-authors and co-founders of AA had – one powerful enough to expel the desire to drink – to change the entire psyche of the human condition – then you haven’t had one!
Lots of interesting and curious question come up within the AA Fellowship as well as from outside that look in to AA membership for answers. The answers given to such questions usually only serve to confuse an already confused membership as well as the public about AA. Maybe that is good. The minute everyone figures us out we’ll probably be ‘taxed’ or regulated by the government and they will have finally figured out a way to have God Himself to file a 1040.
The question often comes up because as a fellowship AA has only a small percentage of its own “members” who have taken and who actually practice its own twelve step program and consequently recover from alcoholism.
To understand how sign significant this is one has to realize one important thing that many of us inside of AA’s membership have not been taught or even bothered to learn – that the one single reason to take the twelve steps is to have a spiritual awakening as the result. That’s it!
I want to circulate a new “script” to be read at the beginning of AA meetings in place of “The Promises” We can call them “The Surprises”. Hey, we can start with the “Tenth Step “Surprises”. Think it will catch on? Nah. Probably not
Real alcoholics pursuing the steps to “stop drinking” or even more disappointing – ‘to have an intellectual awakening’ - are still doomed until such time as they pursue first the Sunlight of the Spirit. Sometimes they slip right into that place during the early stages of the process – and that is good – so I don’t judge motives when working with others – only that they ‘want to stop drinking forever’ and are willing to go to any length. Any length includes hiring me. You gotta be really bad-off to be willing to take the likes of me into your life, I’ll tell you.
Since “practicing the steps” is not a requirement for attending AA meetings there is mix of those who HAVE and those who HAVE NOT “had a spiritual awakening as the result of the steps“ and consequently “recovered” from alcoholism – so when you ask a question like “Can atheists be in AA” you will get quite a mix of answers.
One real good question is regarding atheists in AA. There are AA groups which purport to be comprised of atheists. I am not kidding. Can they call themselves an AA Group? Hellyeah! As long as they are alkies.
I have never seen anyone get kicked out of the fellowship for being atheist. As long as they are alcoholic is all that matters for membership. To actually ‘recover’ well, that’s another story altogether – not altogether a negative one though.
You will get opinions about the twelve steps from those who haven’t actually experienced them, and opinions about God from those who have not actually developed nor maintain a communication with Him and then you will get real-life experiences with the steps from those who have actually experienced them and who have developed a flow of power and guidance from God and have become very “God conscious“.
My experience is that atheistic and agnostic alcoholics will not be prevented from recovery because the program does not allow them to remain atheist or agnostics and still recover from alcoholism.
Once they experience the miracle of recovery by simply “trying” the steps they embrace a God who reveals Himself to them they find that they have been wrong all along – that there is a God – and the proof they needed is right there now in their lives to develop and strengthen a faith in Him. It is truly a miraculous thing. I am privileged to be involved in such an avocation I must tell you. I have worked with many agnostics, and those claiming to be atheist and those who claim to be “the faithful” yet were really a agnostic – it’s a big mixed bag.
* Boy, those places and their owners/investors will never go broke now, will they?
Peace,
Danny S
"We" Are The Agnostics!
For some reason, I used to read the title of Chapter 4 and I didn’t see “WE AGNOSTICS” I saw “Those Agnostics”.
No pressing need to read that chapter, huh? (Even though the directions for taking Step Two are in that chapter – and no where else. You show me someone who isn’t aware of that and I’ll show you someone who doesn’t “work with others”)
Spiritual Dyslexia? Perhaps. Ego? Most definitely.
I refused to set aside my prejudice of what I THOUGHT I knew about agnosticism and see why Bill W and the other co-authors are using this word – and tying it to “We“.
Change that chapter title boys!”
Much to my horror, and I discovered that “We” ARE the agnostics – present tense – present company – me included. Shit!
This was a major point that chapter 4 was trying to get across to me – not just the “Your own concept of God” idea, hell, that’s only supposed to last for a brief interval, as an entry to the God idea – lasting days at most – but also the idea that an opened mind tosses aside prejudice applies to ALL ideas. This is the basis of “Set aside” prayers that many AAs use.
“God, (or Father) - Please help me set aside everything I think I know about myself, alcoholism, these steps, this Big Book, the Fellowship and especially You; so I may have an opened mind and a new experience with all of these and especially You. Thy will – not my will – be done.”
There are many variations all with similar language and they’re darned good too.
It has been and still is my own agnosticism, “creeping agnosticism” I call it – that comes up (“crops up”) each and every time I doubt, am fearful or lack faith in God in any way, at any time, yes even AFTER the “Psychic change“ – after recovering.
Much to my horror, and I discovered that “We” ARE the agnostics! Present tense!
Sure I “Came to believe” – it would not be honest to pretend that belief and courage is full and constant one hundred percent of every twenty four hours – not even in twelve waking hours. I strive toward that perfection knowing I’ll probably not get there (yada-yada) – but heading there is a mission for living – a goal – if you will. I still ignore God’s existence -except now it is not “Around the clock” ignorance, as it used to be prior to recovering. I have been restored to sanity. I am just not capable of being non-agnostic (God conscious) twenty four hours hours a day. Oh, horror of horrors!
While every day is a day when I must carry the vision of God’s will into all of 
my activities, faith then seems to self perpetuate itself and fill in the cracks – like spiritual Spackle – even when I
am not conscious of His presence. (Agnostic)
I have no aspirations to ever reach that total state of God consciousness in my lifetime. If I did, truly did, I would join a monastery and bring about world peace and cure cancer by thinking it into existence. No, I am still quite worldly. And so are you.
So for now while my head may hit a few clouds now and then, my feet are planted on Terra Firma where there’s much, much work to be done. Happily.
I know a few people who had become so “enlighten” and “spiritual” they couldn’t even hold down jobs or socially participate in normal relationships with human being – even though they needed to and wanted to.
If “Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us.” (77:0) and there aren’t any “people about“ in our lives – then the opportunities get lost. (One of the few good reasons to go to meetings by the way) – then where’s the helpfulness in that?
Spending ones days trying to achieve spirituality, instead of growing IN it – can be one of the best ways to circumvent it entirely. Neat trick, eh?
(Tomorrow: “Isolation“)
Peace,
Danny S
Who The Hell Do You Think You Are?
Danny is a born and bred New Yorker, (1957) who grew up in “da Bronx”, New York City and has lived most of his life in the borough of Queens. He now lives on Cape Cod in Massachusetts with his wife Nancy and their two children, Danny Jr. and Kristen.
The Schwarzhoffs are a complete family unit enjoying emotional, mental and physical health and a harmonious lifestyle free from harmful stress. Both children are Honor Roll students in their schools, are socially active and well balanced in all areas of their lives. In July, 2011 the Schwarzhoffs celebrated their thirty second wedding anniversary.
He writes. He plays guitar. Danny was born May 7, 1957. His parents divorced when he was five and he is the product of an alcoholic family life visa vi his mother’s live-in boyfriend who was an alcoholic.Danny himself is an alcoholic. He refers to himself as a “Recovered alcoholic” – no longer suffering from the malady. He got sober for the first time in 1997 and then again in 1999. He has been sober since.He owns several popular and enduring blogs about alcoholism, meditation, recovery and the Twelve Step based solutions to life’s problems. For eight years standing, both Google and Yahoo have rated Danny as the number one, top rated “Recovered Alcoholic”.
He calls himself a “Real Live Recovered Alcoholic”; no longer suffering from the malady. Danny stopped drinking for the first time in 1997 and then again in 1999. He has been sober ever since. He has over thirty years experience with a special form of non-religious, spiritual meditation that he teaches and writes about in tandem with his unique style of carrying the Twelve Step message of recovery that emphasizes this unique meditation technique. He claim it is the missing link in Twelve Step Recovery and has devoted his life to delivering it to the world, beginning with the alcoholic.
Danny was first exposed to the meditation technique he prescribes when he was about five years old. It happened following a traumatic experience with his mother’s violent, alcoholic live-in boyfriend. In order to deal with the humiliation and resentment he experienced at the hands of this man Danny stumbled upon the technique – which he later recognized as meditation – in order to protect himself from the harms caused by that painful traumatic experience. He was able to dislocate his emotions much in the same way that the circus contortionist might dislocate a shoulder. Miraculously, when the experience was over he realized that he no longer hated the man for beating him.
Armed with his secret ‘gimmick’, life could never be quite the same. Then in his teen years he discontinued the mystic ‘dislocation’ practice and descended into the perverse world of active alcoholism, suffering mental and physical dysfunction for nearly two decades. Then in 1999 during a “white light” spiritual experience everything changed and he was able once again to ‘meditate’. He has never needed to look back. He continues to apply this method in all areas of life and has continued to enjoy mental, emotional and physical well-being as well as spiritual healthfulness. Now he teaches the technique to others principally through working with alcoholics who are attempting to go through the Twelve Step Recovery process.
Not only has Danny fully recovered from alcoholism and substance abuse but through this technique integrated into the Twelve Step process he has been able to overcome major depression, anxiety, smoking, onset type II diabetes, obesity, high cholesterol, sugar addiction, colitis, hemorrhoids, and even erectile dysfunction. His doctors have un-prescribed virtually all of the prescriptions he has been given in the past decade including Lipitor, TriCore, and ADD medications like Adderall as well as the antidepressant drugs Effexor, Welbutrin and Lexapro.
He first began writing in the mid 70s when he landed a job as publicist and advertising director for a Bronx produce company. He wrote advertising copy and press releases for the company and directed all of their marketing and promotion until 1982. After several years as a Lobbyist in Washing DC serving the United Fresh Fruit and Vegetable Association he left to start his own weekly tabloid newspaper where he was Editor-in Chief of “The Fruit & Vegetable Reporter.” He wrote most of the tabloids feature stories and much of the news copy. Danny has published articles in Grapevine, AA’s magazine for Alcoholics, and also in the Barnstable Patriot on Cape Cod.
The late 80s and 90s brought Danny to Wall Street in New York City when he became a stockbroker. One of his firms became the subject of the movie “Boiler Room” – a factoid which fuels much of his storytelling on the subject of alcoholism, spiritual dysfunction and substance abuse in the workplace. In the late 90s he moved to Cape Cod where he began writing, working with alcoholics, and breeding thoroughbred racing pigeons. He also began working for several rehab centers aiding addiction counselors with rehabilitating alcoholics and drug addicts.
Today Danny give regular public talks on alcoholism and recovery. He has conducted Twelve Step workshops at recovery conferences in Boston, New York and in Denmark as well as at Dartmouth College (UMASS).
Although frequently consulted by treatment facility administrators and those in the recovery business Danny does not affiliate with any treatment center or rehabs. He hasn’t got any recovery models to sell. He gives his meditation exercise away for free and only writes of his experience on the subject with one goal in mind. He wants to persuade others to try it and to experience an entire change of being and lifestyle through it. He is not an authority on any recovery methods or organizations, God, alcoholism or spirituality nor does he speak or write in representation of anyone but himself. He is not a member of any organized religion or cult and has no axe to grind. He does however express his experience and observations as a spiritually awakened and Recovered Alcoholic. He does not write as a form of “Twelve Step” work for Alcoholics Anonymous or as a form of therapy.
Biographic disclaimer: Sometimes the question of anonymity arises – along with the issue of whether or not Danny is a member of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). If Danny were a member of AA, he would violate AAs traditions by saying so publicly. He would also be lying if he were a member and denied it. So in order to respect that organizations traditions he does not answer that question publicly. However, Danny does want his readers to know that AA has earned his respect and he approves of AAs Twelve Step Program. He also does not think that AA has a monopoly on recovery from alcoholism and that AA is not for everyone. He has attended AA meetings and has done extensive research into its history and Twelve Step Program and is an ardent practitioner of the Twelve Steps. He writes about some of these observations regarding AAs Program, Fellowship and history.
Danny Schwarzhoff is a recovered alcoholic and a writer by trade. He is not an authority on ANY recovery methods or organizations, God, alcoholism or spirituality nor does he speak or write in representation of anyone but himself. He is not a member of any organized religion or cult and has no axe to grind. He does however express his experience and observations based upon that experience as a RECOVERED alcoholic. He does not write as a form of “twelve step” work for Alcoholics Anonymous. Please see the FAQ for more information.
By Nancy Lee Schwarzhoff
Personal Note: I am so grateful to have gotten my husband back. We have been married now for almost twenty-seven years. He became someone I no longer recognized; certainly not the wonderful guy I fell in love with; who made me laugh, who held doors for me, who was truthful and honest; who was going to go out into the world and make a difference – who loved me and didn’t mind showing it. I lost that guy, during the years that he drank. To anyone who has an alcoholic spouse I truly hope you find what my husband has stumbled into. The joy and serenity that has come back is truly a second chance for both of us.
I hope we all enjoy his new book. (He swears he will start looking for a publisher soon!) On the too few occasions that he gives me a few pages to read I end up laughing and crying all on the same page. (I am sure he does that on purpose, knowing him like I do) Then again I went through much of it. So much he never let me know about. He kept so much inside of him. He became secretive and I wondered “How could I have been so mistaken about him?” I questioned whether he loved me at all and what I did to cause him to turn the way he seemed to be. We had no idea what was happening to him. To us.
Even though Dan has been writing his whole life, this is his first attempt at a real book. When he started it a little over a year ago, I knew in my heart that it was something he should do and have been as supportive (through my fears) as I could. I was shocked when suddenly he said he had over 200,000 words written! How he did that, I don’t know. I guess there is still much I don’t know about him as a RECOVERED alcoholic. I am sure he would have started it and given up in our old life. Things are still changing for us everyday.
Although it may or may not be a best seller; it may not conform what to some people think they already know about alcoholics, I will tell you that it is all true and amazing to me. Even his new found recovered friends are just the most amazing, larger than life wonderful people I have ever met in my life. Believe it or not, even the still sick ones he brings here to the house, still drunk!
Danny gets some pretty heavily criticism for being so outspoken. I must say, he does have a knack for cutting to the chase. This bothers some people, especially other un-recovered drunks – who do not even know him past his writings. But if they can deal with their own sensitivities, as I have learned, they will find my husband to be a loving and generous man with a passion for sobriety like none we can imagine. And it is only because of sobriety that it shows. Again.
I know Danny’s talk. He certainly does not walk his own talk a hundred percent. He is far from being a saint. Not on your life! But he does seem to have a skill for catching it before too much harm can come of it. And he helps an awful lot of people. I do admire that in him. But do not ever let him tell you that he walks the talk twenty-four hours a day.
There are second chances in life, happiness, and family. It is waiting for you, inside of you. I hope you find it.
- Love Always, Nancy
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