"Would You Like A Menu . . . .

. . . . or have you eaten here before?”

Peter Luger’s has the best tasting steak in the world. I know it. Most New Yorkers know it. There are people all over the world who do too. I have been to Kansas City, Dallas, Chicago throughout the Midwest – eaten steaks there and in fact have had steak all over country and although I am not claiming to be expert I sure as hell know what I like. Of that I am certainly supremely qualified to rate publicly.

Holy Odin! I even had a pretty damned good piece of beef in Scandinavia – I think it was the year before last - when Myers R from Dallas – and I went to do some Big Book workshops in Denmark. I didn’t even know that Scandinavians knew how to serve charred cow that well.

God bless those Vikings!

Ruth’s Chris – in KC or Manhattan – Smith & Wollesnkys, The Palm, Jesse & Jims or where ever — I have eaten at the best restaurants in the world – beef - prepared by some of the finest chefs on earth - just ask them - and Peter Luger has mastered The Steak and is the best. The flavor cannot be reproduced anywhere else not even by Peter Luger staff themselves. You can use the same exact meat and same prep and cooking methods – you can even be the same chef – and if you try to make a steak anywhere else other than at Peter Luger’s – in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, you will not get the same result. You might geta nice piece of meat – you will not get a Peter Luger’s Porterhouse.

There is a reason for this and I know what it is.

The Peter Luger people know what it is too and I imagine that there are some food critics in the city who also know. Oh and by the way – it has nothing to do with how long it is aged — wet or dry aging — in plastic, not in plastic and all the rest of that fun but in this case irrelevant steak-house lore. Read this entire article and maybe I will let you in on the secret. Just maybe. I am bad – I know. Very bad.

So bad in fact that I am going to say some not so nice things about some people. This is not mere name calling. It is identifying traits of folks and I have no malicious though behind it – it is just that I cannot find better words to describe these folks. So please bear with me. You know, a slut is a slut is a slut and someone who is is stupid is stupid is stupid. AA is not a religion and all but a few disgruntled ex-members who probably never should have attempted to ever belong to the fellowship well know that.

They know it because AA has informed them that AA is not a religion – and has requested that it not be considered one.

Most people have the decency and respect to abide by AAs wishes. They know it because they are aware that AA encourages its members to go out and to discover their own religious denomination to which they can subscribe and belong – no religion can do that and still be religion itself. They know it because it is plain that if they were to call themselves ‘a religion’ and then folks came to AA looking for one, there would be mass disappointment with what they found there. There would be a million times the number of pissed off people looking for religions and couldn’t find one then there are those who never wanted one and who claims they ran into it in AA.

Man if you go to AA looking for a religious experience you are in for one great disappointment.

There are folk however who do not have the brain capacity to see beyond top layers of information around them – they have just enough natural curiosity to lift up the top layers of things – just enough to get their “Inspector Gadget” button but not smart enough to go any deeper than that.

These are the conspiracy theory types who are more impressed with themselves and by their own natural God given inquisitiveness than they are by the complete truth that they fall for the trap set by the spirit that holds their strings and who lives just out of sight – behind their own ignorance and ego.

They manage to squeeze a peek just under the surface and as the begin to climb in get stuck with one foot still planted on the outside – unable to ever get beyond that – they live somewhere in a limbo of ignorance and self absorbed non-intelligent intelligence. UFO people are like that. People who think that President Bush ordered two Boeings to suicide bomb themselves into the Twin Towers taking thousands of men, women and children with them – are like that.

The “AA-is-a-religion” people are like that too. They see only bogeymen in church basements. They ignore logical expression of intent and purpose and see things where those thinks do not exist. They see a column of smoke and assume that someone must have exploded a bomb. They smell beef cooking and assume someone is making hamburgers. They hear someone praying and assume that person must be a religious zealot. They see water and figure it must be raining.

All the while all that it was was simply the sous chef in the kitchen praying that he not get terminated from his job for burning the fillet Mignon and setting off the sprinkler system.

Their entire view of the world is so twisted and distorted – the are so impressed with their own inquisitiveness that that they cannot see far enough past the slightly obscured to make decisions in that world for themselves or for others that keep them even within “normal operating parameters, Captain”, Data on Star Trek might say.

They are as likely to go to Benihana for a steak as they are to the Airport Diner for Kushikatsu. They wouldn’t know where to get a good steak or even know that there is steak of a quality beyond their experience. If they were ever to obtain the presence of mind to sit down with a knife an fork, fold a napkin over a leg and slice a bite to chew they would be shocked. Their world is fantasy. Steak is real. Peter Luger’s is real.

While they worship Dr. Drew, the Minnesota Model, doctors and those who “The Board” that ‘certifies’ – those minions of so called professional “Addictions Counselors” who are the new priests in the cult of The First Church of Applied Recoverology - as they point and chant “Cult, Cult” at Practitioners of The Twelve Steps. Of course AA is a cult! But who gives a flying fig? So are the Boy Scouts of America, NASCAR fans and Don Imus listener. Give me a fucking break!

The difference between the self appointed, “Board Certified” amateurs and the Fellowship of the Spirit is that the Fellowship IS real deal. It ain’t no Sizzler or Tads.

As for Middle-of-Road solutionsists, well their mommas are so fat that . . . . uh, wait . . . . Uh Oh. . . . I just thought of something. Not only was I drunk the last time ate at Luger’s but I have never once been there sober – and n ow I remember what happened. I went there for diner.It was after work and instead of going home afterward I had my limo driver head back over the Brooklyn Bridge and into the city. I didn’t come home till the next day.

Never mind. Forget that you read this.

Sorry. Merry Christmas.

Peace,

Danny S

"Would You Like A Menu . . . .

. . . . or have you eaten here before?”

Peter Luger’s has the best tasting steak in the world. I know it. Most New Yorkers know it. There are people all over the world who do too. I have been to Kansas City, Dallas, Chicago throughout the Midwest – eaten steaks there and in fact have had steak all over country and although I am not claiming to be expert I sure as hell know what I like. Of that I am certainly supremely qualified to rate publicly.

Holy Odin! I even had a pretty damned good piece of beef in Scandinavia – I think it was the year before last - when Myers R from Dallas – and I went to do some Big Book workshops in Denmark. I didn’t even know that Scandinavians knew how to serve charred cow that well.

God bless those Vikings!

Ruth’s Chris – in KC or Manhattan – Smith & Wollesnkys, The Palm, Jesse & Jims or where ever — I have eaten at the best restaurants in the world – beef - prepared by some of the finest chefs on earth - just ask them - and Peter Luger has mastered The Steak and is the best. The flavor cannot be reproduced anywhere else not even by Peter Luger staff themselves. You can use the same exact meat and same prep and cooking methods – you can even be the same chef – and if you try to make a steak anywhere else other than at Peter Luger’s – in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, you will not get the same result. You might geta nice piece of meat – you will not get a Peter Luger’s Porterhouse.

There is a reason for this and I know what it is.

The Peter Luger people know what it is too and I imagine that there are some food critics in the city who also know. Oh and by the way – it has nothing to do with how long it is aged — wet or dry aging — in plastic, not in plastic and all the rest of that fun but in this case irrelevant steak-house lore. Read this entire article and maybe I will let you in on the secret. Just maybe. I am bad – I know. Very bad.

So bad in fact that I am going to say some not so nice things about some people. This is not mere name calling. It is identifying traits of folks and I have no malicious though behind it – it is just that I cannot find better words to describe these folks. So please bear with me. You know, a slut is a slut is a slut and someone who is is stupid is stupid is stupid. AA is not a religion and all but a few disgruntled ex-members who probably never should have attempted to ever belong to the fellowship well know that.

They know it because AA has informed them that AA is not a religion – and has requested that it not be considered one.

Most people have the decency and respect to abide by AAs wishes. They know it because they are aware that AA encourages its members to go out and to discover their own religious denomination to which they can subscribe and belong – no religion can do that and still be religion itself. They know it because it is plain that if they were to call themselves ‘a religion’ and then folks came to AA looking for one, there would be mass disappointment with what they found there. There would be a million times the number of pissed off people looking for religions and couldn’t find one then there are those who never wanted one and who claims they ran into it in AA.

Man if you go to AA looking for a religious experience you are in for one great disappointment.

There are folk however who do not have the brain capacity to see beyond top layers of information around them – they have just enough natural curiosity to lift up the top layers of things – just enough to get their “Inspector Gadget” button but not smart enough to go any deeper than that.

These are the conspiracy theory types who are more impressed with themselves and by their own natural God given inquisitiveness than they are by the complete truth that they fall for the trap set by the spirit that holds their strings and who lives just out of sight – behind their own ignorance and ego.

They manage to squeeze a peek just under the surface and as the begin to climb in get stuck with one foot still planted on the outside – unable to ever get beyond that – they live somewhere in a limbo of ignorance and self absorbed non-intelligent intelligence. UFO people are like that. People who think that President Bush ordered two Boeings to suicide bomb themselves into the Twin Towers taking thousands of men, women and children with them – are like that.

The “AA-is-a-religion” people are like that too. They see only bogeymen in church basements. They ignore logical expression of intent and purpose and see things where those thinks do not exist. They see a column of smoke and assume that someone must have exploded a bomb. They smell beef cooking and assume someone is making hamburgers. They hear someone praying and assume that person must be a religious zealot. They see water and figure it must be raining.

All the while all that it was was simply the sous chef in the kitchen praying that he not get terminated from his job for burning the fillet Mignon and setting off the sprinkler system.

Their entire view of the world is so twisted and distorted – the are so impressed with their own inquisitiveness that that they cannot see far enough past the slightly obscured to make decisions in that world for themselves or for others that keep them even within “normal operating parameters, Captain”, Data on Star Trek might say.

They are as likely to go to Benihana for a steak as they are to the Airport Diner for Kushikatsu. They wouldn’t know where to get a good steak or even know that there is steak of a quality beyond their experience. If they were ever to obtain the presence of mind to sit down with a knife an fork, fold a napkin over a leg and slice a bite to chew they would be shocked. Their world is fantasy. Steak is real. Peter Luger’s is real.

While they worship Dr. Drew, the Minnesota Model, doctors and those who “The Board” that ‘certifies’ – those minions of so called professional “Addictions Counselors” who are the new priests in the cult of The First Church of Applied Recoverology - as they point and chant “Cult, Cult” at Practitioners of The Twelve Steps. Of course AA is a cult! But who gives a flying fig? So are the Boy Scouts of America, NASCAR fans and Don Imus listener. Give me a fucking break!

The difference between the self appointed, “Board Certified” amateurs and the Fellowship of the Spirit is that the Fellowship IS real deal. It ain’t no Sizzler or Tads.

As for Middle-of-Road solutionsists, well their mommas are so fat that . . . . uh, wait . . . . Uh Oh. . . . I just thought of something. Not only was I drunk the last time ate at Luger’s but I have never once been there sober – and n ow I remember what happened. I went there for diner.It was after work and instead of going home afterward I had my limo driver head back over the Brooklyn Bridge and into the city. I didn’t come home till the next day.

Never mind. Forget that you read this.

Sorry. Merry Christmas.

Peace,

Danny S

Rubber Meets The Road

The intent behind Singleness of Purpose is to prevent AA from being all things to all people. The idea was not germinated in the “Rubber Capital of the World” Akron, Ohio – but that is where the idea took off to the wholesale level.

The reason Roland Hazard (New England) was able to help Ebby Thacher (New York State) who was able to help Bill Wilson (New York City) who was able to help Bill Dodsen (Akron) who was able to help Clarence Snyder (Cleveland) and on and on – (You, me and the world) was because they – we - were ALL alcoholic.

They could have been a whole lot of other things too – over-eaters, coin collectors, drug addicts, douche bags, fly fishermen, introverts or transvestites – it did not matter what else they were as long as they had that one common condition of mind and body – alcoholism. (AA’s description – not Dr. Drew’s)

The breakdown that occurs in the fellowship happens right at the level of sponsorship which is Primary Purpose. It does not happen in monthly business meetings. It does not happen when someone doesn’t go to enough meetings. It does not even happen when someone fails to mention “doing the steps” from the podium.

It happens at eye-ball-to-eyeball level, right in the main trench of our own battlefield. On the firing line. When one alcoholic fails to talk to another alcoholic about the spiritual solution to alcoholism.

A look at this in our history testifies one hundred percent with my own experience today. I have NEVER been able to Twelve Step a non-alcoholic – call him addict, call him whatever you wish – if he isn’t an alcoholic, he just will not click at the deep level necessary to allow the deep inner and intimate trust necessary for the prospect to make the corresponding inner and deep commitment to so drastically change the way he lives.

He may get on knees and take Step Three – He may buy a notebook and start writing his fourth step – he may even do a fifth step – Hell, he might make some amends too! But he’ll skimp somewhere.

He’ll balk at some place in this process. His fourth step will be incomplete or he will hold back something vital in his fifth step or he’ll leave an amends unfinished. He may not sponsor others – putting it off for months or years. (Which has benefit because he will not have recovered either) Even more devastating – he could tart talking to newcomers as if it were OK to do it “his way”. The outcome will not be good.

All the while – if he were directed into the RIGHT Fellowship he might find himself recovered, useful and back with hi s Creator.

The turning of his life and will over to God is so major a decision that unless he knows that I have walked in his shoes, in his footprints – then the level of trust necessary will breakdown – especially once the pain of the last the debacle diminishes. The link that occurs by simply being, “two fucked up guys – with DUIs” is just not strong enough. IOh yeah, it is strong enough to hold together a “not drinkin’ today” social gathering of ‘happy joyous and free’ meeting goers - who share “experience, strength and hope” a few dirty jokes and a cup of coffee – but that is where it ends.

Changing “alcoholic” to “alcohol addict” or lumping everyone into “addictive personality” or whatever other word play that has become popularly espoused by outside interests – not AA – is irrelevant to the truth about alcoholism.

The folks who do this have money on the line and that is their truth that they wont’ admit to. I am talking about the ‘addictions” treatment industry.

The truth is that I am not a drug addict and therefore am not credible enough to a drug addict to be able to gain his extreme trust. At some point that addict tells me something about himself – maybe it’s how he sucked some guys dick for a vial of rock or how he bought some unidentified white powered from some unidentified person and cooked it and pulled blood out of his arm and mixed it up and shot it back in – and then looks me in the eye and thinks to himself, “Holy shit! This guy doesn’t know what I am talking about” or maybe even “God, I have no idea what he means when he talks of alcohol that way” and then he is dead — because the disconnect is right there and then.

He then says, “Well maybe that Danny is being a little drastic here – after all he doesn’t understand me – so maybe I CAN wait awhile on some of these amends.” Or maybe, “I can NOT sponsor anyone just yet until I have at last a year.” Or maybe, “I don’t have to finish my 4th step by next week. He’s a little drastic”.

DEAD DEAD DEAD! He is back out looking to score. Back into a detox. Back into a sober home and to meetings again and then back out on the street, saying “I must be a real piece of shit because those people in that detox and in that transitional services facility must be right – I DID NOT WANT IT BADLY ENOUGH!”

Wanting sobriety badly is NOT a sufficient reason for a real alcoholic or a drug addict to stop. It never has been.

I have killed drug addicts myself – arrogantly imagining that I had been given the power to help drug addicts. Where are they today? They are skeletons in the dirt. Their families and loved ones have lived without them now for years. Those families have no idea how they died except that they died of drug overdoses. They have no idea how intimate their loved ones had been with me and how much some guy named Danny knows about why they have lost their beloved. They have no idea of what I know about the exact reason they are now gone. And I cannot tell them. It is too late.

I have also helped alcoholics because I have been given the power to help them. I stick where both history and my personal experience tells me I should be – with other alcoholics!

This can all be hard to digest when so much information that is contrary to AAs Singleness of Purpose has run so rampant – perhaps in the circles in which you travel – nay . . PROBABLY in the circles in which you travel.

I have had many men undergo drastic spiritual awakenings and experiences right before my eyes and I have others fall apart and die before my eyes. I have these experiences to support what is told time after time, story after story, inside of the Big Book and outside of it, and I guarantee you that Singleness of Purpose – one alcoholic talking to another – is the only way this Twelve Step stuff works for alcoholics.

I don’t care how many people say they’ve “done the steps” via a sponsor with another “addiction”. Lots of people say that they have “taken the steps” and I say “So what.” Lots of people can hold a knife and fork too. That doesn’t always mean that they have eaten lunch.

Working with other alcoholics out in those trenches. THAT is where the battlefield is. That is where the rubber meets the road and that is where the hearts and minds combine. That is where lives are either lost or saved. That is the WHOLE DEAL right then – right there when that absolutely dejected and miserable man lost in his cups hears another man who has walked in his shoes tell him what he has been longing to hear – words of truth pouring out of the heart of someone who really understands the problem – the same exact problem – and who has found the solution. The same exact solution.

Loads of AA meetings, sharing problems, sober picnics, reading about spirituality and camaraderie with others don’t mean SHIT if that battle is not first fought in that trench!

Peace,

Danny S

"Credentials" – Who are the REAL DEAL People?

Many Treatment center staffers give big lip service to our Big Books Twelve Step Program – but how many of them are speaking from an experience they have actually HAD? I have to wonder.

Many “Addictions Counselors” rewrite the steps (Usually only the first three) and mold them into new forms and formats – you know . . . Xeroxed “Handouts” that can be used in group sessions and such – supplemented with Internet materials from all sources except the Big Book.

Anyone with experience with the actual Program can look at those materials and weep. They are garbage – not even resembling the Big Book experience and directions. They are interpretations, reinterpretations and downright perversions. IMPOSTERS.

I worked at a place called Gosnold here on the POD. (See link) It’s pretty much all there is on the POD and as far as treatment facilities go, Gosnold is a big fish in a tiny pond – but there’s more food in that pond than you can imagine.

Cape Cod is after all a beautiful peninsula strewn with quaint drinking villages that has a severe fishing problem.

Since most of the AA Program in the Big Book invalidates their “treatment” methods most Treatment Centers are always on the lookout for anyone who is familiar with the Big Book so they can prevent them from speaking to their clients on “incoming speaking commitments” or even worse – getting “On-staff”. Our types are very bad for business.

It took them all of two weeks to figure out that I was “One of those” (“Those” typically have more experience in successfully helping others to recover than do the treatment center personnel.) - and of course I got canned.
_______________________________________________________________________________

Here is a guy employed at a twenty eight day treatment facility – telling people about AAs Twelve Steps – and literally knows NOTHING about them.
_________________________________________________________________________________

While at this facility I read one of the senior counselors handouts on Step One. It was unrecognizable as Step One.Three quarters of it was an opinion about Step Two! I was shocked! It was absolute crap that he had written himself.

So now here is a guy, employed at a twenty eight day treatment facility – telling people about AAs Twelve Steps – and he literally knows NOTHING about them – thinks he does – and has convinced others that he does, simply because he’s been sober and licensed for so many years. And there’s no one to check on him because THEY DON’T KNOW EITHER!

I can’ think of a worse tragedy in that deal.

Addiction Rehabilitation services are not cheap. Facilities like this charge ten to thirty thousand dollars for a single stint – and when it doesn’t work, blame the client. It is outrageous.

Many “clients” finance these charges on credit cards and secure loans by putting liens on their houses or relatives homes. Distraught relatives are often forced by “Love” to withdraw bucks out of their retirement funds in order to come up with the dough.

How sad is this – and Gosnold is not an isolated case. These are people (Not only staffers at Gosnold but at treatment facilities all over the country) who individually kill more people each year, on their own, than Charles Manson ever did. Manson only killed nine people on two occaiisions.

These counselors are in DIRECT contact with perhaps a dozen “Clients” each month. Every day that they are in contact with a real alcoholic is another “occassion” fro them.

I realize that I do have a penchant for hyperbole. I am a writer – but this is no exaggeration. It is THAT BAD. These folks are often lauded for their work, receive weekly paychecks for it, and are known to bask in their own “Charity” for working for such low wages considering all they “Good” they do.

The good news about treatment centers is that many clients DO have a problem with alcohol and drugs but CAN probably stop without the “Real Deal” anyway – if only they will – and can learn some good Rehab “tricks“.

Perhaps you have heard some of the tricks: Having a plan, keeping in a structured environment, (“I need structure”) staying away from “Slippery places”, sharing their problems at meetings, going to lots of meetings (Sometimes three or four a day – what a life huh?) The centers teach them that stuff. But pity the real alcoholic that falls into their domain for whom the only solution is a spiritual awakening.

Professional Jealousy against “We” who actually try and often succeed in carry the message to the alcoholic is rampant. The “Johnny Come Latelies“* - and that’s what the treatment industry is – are doing all they can to discredit AA. I get press releases every day about non-spiritual and “non-twelve step” approaches to alcoholism and AA is getting a huge bashing in these efforts and in the press. Don’t think this isn’t all intentional.

“There’s money in them thar hills!”

There are always exceptions. And in that respect there are some GOOD TREATMENT CENTERS. But there are a HELL of a lot of really bad ones. There are some exceptional counselors out there. They operate under the radar of their employers for as long as they can. Some wind up in private practice. God bless them. They must take a lot of heat! Their jobs are exceeding more difficult than the well-meaning but misinformed, middle-of-the-road based solutions “Addictons counselor“ who hangs a certificate, collect a salary and lies by telling people that he is “Pro AA” but “a drug is a drug is a drug”, and and unwittingly put alcoholics into the dirt. He is not “Pro AA” – he is “Pro-meetings” and “meetings” ain’t the AA Program. The Twelve Steps are.

WHAT NERVE!
If you want to really get sick to your stomach then have a look at this news article Headline.

You will freak. Are there REALLY people out there calling themselves “AA Counselors“?

Peace,

Danny S

* “Alcoholics Anonymous” (1939) was written and it’s Step were being practiced at a time when doctors were routinely committing our type of alcoholics – the hopeless variety – to asylums to “Solve” the problem. Some solve.

Denying The Description Of The Alcoholic

Has anyone heard a good example of “Our description of the alcohol” lately? I have. Unfortunately is wasn’t in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous – the very place one would think you would here it it most clearly.

I have heard people who THINK they know an alcoholic is. Yet what they describe as being alcoholic doesn’t even come close to the description of the alcoholic in the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous.

That book doesn’t use the modern term “denial” that we hear in the rooms of AA these days BUT it seems to me that unless a person admit that they are alcoholic using AA’s “Description of the alcoholic” then they are still “in denial” in-as-far-as plugging into the AA solution designed solely for THEIR description. Very few people I’ve ever met – (Remember, I work with many newcomers) including myself upon first seeking a solution – have yet to LEARN what an alcoholic is.

Since the first part of Step One is admitting I am alcoholic (Being “powerless over alcohol”) , it as not POSSIBLE to admit that I am something of which I have not even yet learned the definition. Hence a terrific hurdle.

Most people think the hurdle of admission is an ego thing – that once they get through the personal embarrassment of wearing the label and can say, “I’m an alcoholic” it means they’re over it, and therefore cleared to stop drinking by the recovery gods.

That is only because they THINK that they have to admit to being THEIR socially conditioned definition of the alcoholic, – a definition that is usually not sufficient. It might be some mental snapshot of a really bad, anti-social, misfit and bad person, who just happened to choose a destructive method of dealing with life; a “misbehaving” or misdirected person, if you will – but it is a long way from getting to the actual description. They have no idea what is is about them that MAKES them alcoholic.

The public at large fosters this image upon them and professional communities who have not yet discovered or choose to ignore the strides, which the AA co-founders, made when they unwittingly stumbling upon the most accurate definition of the alcoholic that mankind has ever had.

Why would the Treatment Industry “Professionals” accept AA’s “Our description of the alcoholic”?

There’s no money in it for them.

I had a definition in my head of what I “thought” an alcoholic is. Like many people I assumed, through social conditioning, that an alcoholic was someone who just “drinks to much, too often” and therefore can’t reach full human potential; a social eccentric who if only he could DETOX, and then find more socially tolerated ways to deal with his life’s problems, they would be solved.

It may be that they ARE drinking heavily for such reasons, and ARE solely social misfits, but for others like myself, there are OTHER factors well beyond these which in the absence of address, there is no human aid which can help. The socially unfit can simply stop on his or her own, or detox in a controlled environment, then get down to life with the help of a little counseling or maybe even little chemical aid like cannabis or moderation drinking.

But for others, like me, unless I LEARNED what causes an alcoholic of my type to drink, then I could make no progress.

So LEARNING what it is I am saying when I say “I am an alcoholic” had to be done first, and unless one is willing to LEARN and to abandon socially conditioned notions and prejudice which suppose why people over-drink can be set aside, then if I am truly fit the type of alcoholic addressed by AAs Program, then I cannot set about a fix.

So admission to something which we don’t even know what it is we are admitting too, CAN be a problem to taking Step One.

What works for the true socially unprepared individual who does not have a physical allergy to alcohol combined with a mental obsession, never works for someone like me and roughly 10% of all humanity walking the face of the earth.

There is no way out that I’ve found – other than divine intervention of some sort whether through AAs Program or some other spiritual path also leading to God.

Peace,

Danny S

Whose Will?

“Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them.” (27:3)

If this is true then it is no wonder the treatment facilities can’t seem to be of much real help to us real alcoholics. It is also no wonder that those of us who have been exposed to the treatment facility methods who finally DO find the solution to our alcoholism are shocked and sometimes upset to learn we have been duped. For all of the supposed support and alignment that the treatment facilities claim to have WITH AA’s Twelve Steps – we find that most of their methods to be in direct conflict with the Program.

As a sponsor I have my work cut out for me in deprogramming these individuals from the non-spiritual tools they have been given to “work on” themselves. They have been taught to be WILLFUL.

Since the do not bring the client through a spiritual awakening – but instead “counsel” to the client a SELF WILLED “Change of behaviors” there is no real inner change. “You need structure”; “You have to change your behaviors.” “You have to change the way you think” is what folks are told.

Then they get sent into sober living houses with heavy disciplines, rules, curfews, and the threat of being “kicked out” if they don’t comply. This “living” as long as they don’t drink” is fine, they are told.

It may not have bars on the windows – but it IS PRISON with the only primary purpose being to “Not drink” through human mandated structure. For many I suppose it is fine. Self-will is this way of the world. And if your will isn’t strong enough – then submit to the will of “the house”. He’ll get a job. He’ll get a girlfriend. He’ll have a clean bed and roof over his head. All looks well on paper – but MAN, isn’t it better to let God discipline us?

Men I work with, who come out of “Addictions counseling” environments, have been hammered with this whole idea that that they “Must change” their behaviors, they must “Work on myself” and they have been told that the only way to do that is to place themselves into new environments with “structure” – in essence; “Fake it till I make it” – like they are some kind of soulless dogs being checked through a training kennel. “Behavior modification” is what it is and it is the direct opposite of what we know works for real alcoholics.

Behavioral modification is part of a larger school of thought known as Applied Behavioral Analysis and was developed out of research performed on rats and pigeons. Yes, that is how they came up with this stuff – by experiencing on rats and pigeons! The resulting theories and applications are now being applied to human beings to influence our behaviors – the same way that we can modify the behaviors of small, non-sentient creatures.

Make no mistake. The folks utilizing these tools ARE the Mind Controllers! When they can get into a person’s mind. they can control their behaviors. Uh…except for real alcoholics who are “beyond human aid”. Now these folks would have you believe that this may have been true back in the day – of Bill and Bob – but NOW they have made great strides and all that letting God crap is no longer the way to go! AA in now antiquated! They didn’t know back then what we know now! No. . . we are all just rats and pigeons and can be controlled similarly. Yeah right.

But alcoholism is not a behavioral problem. This is a simple fact that those who get paid to help folks change human behaviors really cannot afford to let be known. Heavy drinking might be “behavioral” but true alcoholism stems from a spiritual malady which when “fixed“; we straight out mentally and physically.

As a sponsor I have my work cut out for me in deprogramming these individuals from the non-spiritual tools they have been given to “work on” themselves. They have been taught to be WILLFUL. Their brains have been filled with so much crap designed to keep them looking toward the human solution rather that the God solution that it can be a daunting task unless there is enough desperation and realizing of true powerlessness – and true powerlessness is NOT what treatment center client comes away with. They come away with a false security shield of protection emblazoned with “I CAN DO IT” across it’s front that is pierced by the very first blow of the insane obsession to take a drink – unless that obsession has been divinely removed.

There’s a great little duet of lines in the Book that blows all this human will and right out of the water.

“We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined.” (88:1)

And the way they have “just outlined” are the FIVE things we do throughout our day in the practice of Step Ten. (If you don’t know them – them you aren’t doing them.)

Back in Step Four we get an inkling of just how “Hands Off” we really let ourselves get in the molding of our own being when dealing with fears. It is then, in this inventory process that we are introduce to the “fear prayer” in which we are reminded to ask God to direct our attention to what He would have us be. – Not what WE would have us be.

The points being made is that we aren’t supposed to be forcing our behaviors into how we think they should be. We are to submit to God and let Him do all the changing FOR US. Anything less that that is still playing God.

We hold onto the old idea that “We must change” because God still seems a “flimsy reed” (28:1) to the fearfully faithless. But a new life has been given us – not “Gotten” by us.

The first lesson for me in turning my life (behaviors) and will (thinking) over to God’s care was to stop TRYING. Then let go and live as though God has the place in the new design for living He had all along.

Peace,

Danny S

Recovery Hurdle Blurs Vision

Around the globe there is abundance – some say an overabundance – of recovery organizations, treatment faculties and books which market “Recovery Models” and theories designed to sell sobriety to desperate people with alcohol and drug problems.

Still ninety percent of all alcoholics like me will die alcoholic deaths and twenty five percent of the suicides in the United States will be attributed to alcoholism.

These organizations are failing and they are killing people as they do. Most real alkies like me, suffer needlessly or die from untreated alcoholism, never knowing why it is that we just cannot “Get it”.

I am one of those who finally “Got it” and for the past eight years it has been my passion to tell my story with dogged determination, intent upon smashing home the powerful message of successful recovery into the hearts and minds of the American consciousness.

But there is a hurdle. It is called controversy.

It proliferates in treatment centers, the medical profession – and yes, it has even been carried into in the once effective Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous – an organization that at one time had a seventy-five to ninety percent success rate. And they have shot themselves in the foot by ignoring their own Traditions and their own method of recovery outlined in the book from which they derive their name.

The controversy stems from concerted efforts to ignore and quash the enormously important distinctions between the heavy-problem drinker and the real alcoholic.

There are many people – entire industries, professional and otherwise – who hold a special interest in keeping the distinctions blurred.

Real alcoholics must learn this distinction or else.

Peace,

Danny S

Addicts Are Cousins – Not Brothers

Once people like you and me and others who actually recover from this thing experience it actually happening to us and then watch as it also works with others to whom WE in turn pass it on, the light bulb goes off and we can see clearly why it works. We can also gain insight into why others methods or half measures fail.

A man asked me to sponsor him a while back, last summer I think, maybe longer. We got together and he told me he was a heroin addict. I said fine, and continued to probe him about his history.

Nice enough guy. Lots of suffering. Truly in need.

But it came out that he really was not an alcoholic, but a drug addict. He was going to AA meetings because he was told that a drug is a drug us a drug, and that AA had a better track record than other Fellowships.

I had to turn him down.

I was looking for another person to sponsor, so it would have been easy to grab him for MY sake, but I swatted my ego away like a buzzing skeeter, and said I would not be a good sponsor for him.

He was disappointed; because he said I was the first person, he met since rehab who seemed to walk the talk and who really understood the Program. He had heard me speaking around and someone actually suggested to him that he find me for sponsorship. (I do not mind being “stalked” under such conditions) He said that he liked my “zeal”. LOL. (My wife jokes about my so-called “zeal” and tells other AAs that her curse is living with a sober cartoon character, whatever that means) He looked so disappointed. He did not understand when I said, “I might kill you.”

What I said to him came totally off the cuff, and it was the first time I had ever said it in these words, but I try to remember those words because I think they were put into my mouth at the right time, not so much for him to hear but maybe for me to hear.

I said, “Joe we may get along just fine. We could become great friends and maybe learn a lot from each other — but at some point we are going to be sitting down at a table from one another, and I am going to be talking, and you are going to look at me, listen to me talk about my experience with booze and say to yourself ” Holy Shit – this guy has absolutely no idea of what I am talking about” . You will be right – and you will be dead, Joe.”

He did not get it then. I hope to God he got it finally.

There is no way that every human nook and every human cranny of a human being can be filled with the amount of unbreakable confidence and incredible trust that needs be placed, consciously and unconsciously, in another person, than what is required for that person to take the drastic and necessary steps it takes to recover from what ails him, if there is the slightest doubt that THIS man has walked one hundred percent in his shoes and has walked the same exact road as he.

Experience with working with others teaches this. Not Big Book theory and round robins at 12 & 12 meetings. Not rehab counselors. Not old-timers. Not hearing things at lots of meetings.

I have harmed my fair share of drug addicts with my own ignorance on this matter – been to their funerals – hugged their wives – cried with their mothers and kissed the foreheads of their little kids. But no more. I have done it too many times only being in this business eight years.
What I have just conveyed above comes from experience, which is only gained through action. Not through reading or listening.

Not by worshipping this Program, not be thumping these pages, not by becoming a Big Book attorney.

Only experience.

Peace,

Danny S