How To Give Hope

This fellow, a chronic relapser and Alcoholic number three (Bill & Bobs first prospect.) was hit with the procedure we know works well – even today. He doesn’t know it yet, but he will never have another drink as long as lives and had experienced his last relapse.

Two days later, a future fellow of Alcoholics Anonymous stared glassily at the strangers beside his bed. “Who are you fellows, and why this private room? I was always in a ward before.”

Bill Dodson is the fellow. He is in St Thomas Hospital in Akron- the year 1939 Sr Ignatia had to label his condition as acute gastritis; but we know what his real problem was. (She did this a lot) He had been hastily put up into what was known as “The Flower Room” which was usually reserved for dead patients awaiting pickup by the city coroners office. Not exactly hope inspiring for our friend. “why this private room?”

But Bill & Bob wanted to get him alone.

“Call on him while he is still jittery. He may be more receptive when depressed. See your man alone, if possible.” (91:3)

If you have ever had to Twelve Step someone with other folks present, then you know how distracting that situation can be – especially when spectators (Like family or friends or even other MOTR AAs) have so much useless information on what they THINK should be done. (“He needs to be in “soberhouse“. “He needs a good couselor.” “He needs to be in a rehab.”) Talk about God does NOT often elicit a positive response right away and when we twelve step THAT is what we are there to do – to talk about God.

Said one of the visitors, “We’re giving you a treatment for alcoholism.”

Of course there is no “treatment” for alcoholism, not a human treatment anyway. They were there to convince our man to let God “treat” him.

“Hopelessness was written large on the man’s face as he replied, “Oh, but that’s no use. Nothing would fix me. I’m a goner. The last three times, I got drunk on the way home from here. I’m afraid to go out the door. I can’t understand it.”

If he WANTED to drink he could probably “understand” it – but Bill D. wanted to “NOT DRINK” – yet picked up immediately after being “treated” by human hands in a detox setting.

This is typical today as well – more historical evidence that flies in the face of “Just don’t drink”. Real alcoholics can’t do it. If they could do that, they wouldn’t be really alcoholic because it would mean that they already HAVE POWER over alcohol – their own power. Will power.

“ For an hour, the two friends told him about their drinking experiences. Over and over, he would say: “That’s me. That’s me. I drink like that.”

Do you think they talked about their silly and horrific episodes, their drunkologues? Maybe – just a little. But whenever we hear a Twelve Stepper’s account of this part of the process in the Big Book it is always characterized as “We told him what we knew about alcoholism.” When we do that, woven into our tales, we have identification with a real alkie. The horrific consequences of over-drinking on a spree too often does not jive with the experiences of another alcoholic.

Not all alcoholics have lost their families, their jobs, their drivers licenses – but ALL alcoholics drink even when they don’t want to and experience craving once they start. THOSE are the common experiences that we convey in “What we know about alcoholism”. We embed these into our stories – we are STORYTELLERS but without a purpose, our stories are nothing but entertaining at best and dry air at worst.

Leave those two elements out, and we might be good story tellers, we might even get a few folks to cry out loud just listening – or laugh and say, “Nice fellow/gal”, but we make LOUSY twelve steppers and are useless in the Fellowship.

“The man in the bed was told of the acute poisoning from which he suffered, how it deteriorates the body of an alcoholic and warps his mind. There was much talk about the mental state preceding the first drink.”

Deterioration of the body, poisoning and mind warp (Can you say “CRAVING & PHYSICAL ALLERGY?) And the mental state preceding the first drink. (Insane obsession.)

THIS IS WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT ALCOHOLISM!

An alcoholic may get a giggle from my story – about the time I puked into my briefcase on the No. 1&9 subway on my way home from work – but he really doesn’t give a crumb about it because he never did THAT! But a sory that depicts obsession and craving? THAT he’ll recognize! IF HE IS A REAL ALCOHOLIC! (In a meeting and if he’s not, he’ll be dissapponted that you’ve failed to entertain him)

“Yes, that’s me,” said the sick man, “the very image. You fellows know your stuff all right, but I don’t see what good it’ll do. You fellows are somebody. I was once, but I’m a nobody now. From what you tell me, I know more than ever I can’t stop.”

WOW! Imagine admitting powerlessness in a simple conversation? No writing! No classes! No pledge of allegiance to a sponsor or a fellowship or even God. No committment to do a “90 in 90″. Just one alcoholic talking to another. THAT’S how it was done!

“At this both the visitors burst into a laugh. Said the future Fellow Anonymous: “Damn little to laugh about that I can see.”

The knew they had succeeded. When a man admits powerlessness over alcohol – hopelessness – as Bill D just did, it IS cause to smile! What a joy! Progress at last! We know that alcoholism only SEEMS hopeless and we can now tell our prospect the good news:

The two friends spoke of their spiritual experience and told him about the course of action they carried out. (157:1)

They told him about the STEPS (Or in this case the Oxford stuff which later became the steps) AND they told him what the result of those steps was A SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE!

Peace,

Danny S