Kissing Alcoholic Ass

Alcoholics do not suffer from too LOW self esteem – we suffer from too HIGH self esteem.

Why do rehab centers fail so miserably in treating real alcoholics? Because they have to kiss alcoholic ass for money. This means telling alcoholics what they want to hear or else they’ll bolt. For a delusional sick alcoholic that is always going to be a lie – usually about himself.

Because of this vampirish relationship treatment centers are nothing more than parasites; we alcoholics and addicts are the fat succulent hosts and we are all being sucked dry till we die.

It is easy to convince an alcoholic feeling like shit that that his misery is low self esteem. Hell you could tell him its a vitamin deficient – he’ll do anything to be rid of it. They truth is that alcoholics do not suffer from too LOW self esteem – we suffer from too HIGH self esteem. High Self esteem – or the high regard we hold for ourselves, our abilities as evidences by our our ambitious pasts is what gets us into the horrendous predicament in which we find ourselves the first place.

We have been lied to by the brain doctors and the ‘treatment center” industry to believe the opposite of the truth of this. It is when no one else comes up to match the same high esteem we hold for ourselves that we fill up with self-pity and resentment for those who fail to give us the ‘good feeling’ we want from them – about our stinking drinking selves.

This is why a searching and thorough 4th step is so effective. It tends to reveal to us the horrible truth – the truth about ourselves – not give us a emotional masturbation session that most pay for treatment brain mechanics will give us.

It feels so shitty that when someone comes along and tells us we have ‘low self esteem” our ego says, “OF COURSE YOU DO!” Then we seek out people to make us feel even MORE elevated! This makes us WORSE not BETTER. It takes us FARTHER from the real answer, the “destruction of self-centeredness.” Instead they shower us in new sick “self” esteem as as a new high comes to numb the pain of the truth about ourselves – that we don’t really deserve it!

Self pity for not measuring up to our own self-centered delusion we hold for ourselves is often called “low self esteem” but it is the opposite of that. Who would pay for deflation of ‘esteem”? No one.

That’s why the opposite ‘psychology’ is sold by counselors and psychiatrists. It is intentionally misleading. The 12 Steps is a Program that promotes a DEFLATION of self not one of INFLATION of self and that is why the rehab centers fail miserably in treating real alcoholics. Because they to kiss alcoholic ass for money. Treatment centers are parasites and alcoholics and addicts are hosts and we are being sucked dry till we die.

Even the most highly revered treatment centers in the nation – the 40-50-60 thousand dollar a shot facilities that celebrities and the wealthy can afford to tap have success rates that in ANY other industry would flag them for closure and criminal investigations by Attorney Generals in most States. We are talking in most cases fewer than ten percent and NEVER much over fifteen percent. I think the Betty Ford center has something like a high of seventeen percent at one point – if that number can be trusted – and that while they’re bragging! What happens to the other ninety or eighty percent who don’t get what they came for? Do they get a refund? No they are told – sit down for this one – “ITS YOUR FAULT!” Is this some racket or what?

They will never tell the alkie the truth. they will NEVER encourage a through and fearless 4th step or ardent practice of anything resembling a step 10,11 or 12. With treating people with genuine low self esteem perhaps they do OK — but not we alkies for whom ONLY deflation of ego to realistic levels and the leveling of pride takes us on a road of true recovery. The avenue of approach to that victory is a spiritual path.

This isn’t light matter. This alcoholism biz is heavy duty spiritual principles that are SO simple but we have been so brainwashed to believe the opposite of truths! It’s as if they want us dead! But first they want our money. If anyone can see what is being said here, please consider it.

Peace and Love,

Danny S – RLRA
Real Live Recovered Alcoholic
http://recoveredalcoholic.blogspot.com

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April 5, 2010 - Posted by frunobulax57 | www.dannyschwarzhoff.net

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Danny…

The main value I found in entering treatment was to get out of harms way for a period of time so I could live long enough to have a shot at recovery.

The next value was time to focus on recovery, which in the case of the effective treatment facility I was in was to do at least a meeting a day in the AA community and attend the counselor-led group sessions. The counselor was volounteer.

This recovery house was a startup. You paid your meager room and board of about $700/month. So probably not of the same type you mention where people are paying thousands.

Basically, it was just a safe place to be for a while. For me it worked. I am sober ever since. My understanding is that now, years later, that same organization has expanded to a dozen houses and a money focus. Perhaps drifting in the direction of the recovery industry of which you speak.

I have no contact with them so I really can’t say. But nothing suggests the director(s) are not just as corruptible as those who sell out for the big dollar.

As far as self-esteem goes, I know for myself, I put on a big front. Yet to me, this was an overcompensation of the deep fear and anxiety that lay beneath. I felt playing the big shot was being strong. And I can assure you, is somebody stroked that perception, I would have run with it and it would have got stronger.

I am so glad the false-front got crushed. I am so glad the ruse was up. Through a series of events and people who wove through my life in early recovery, I got the message that I was full of shit. In fact, God is so powerful and so brilliant, he even used many people who were full of shit to help me see my own ‘full of shit’ self-concept.

To this I do not solely credit the recovery house or even AA. God used both and for that, I give him the credit. He also used many people outside of the program, often in bizarre ways that I least expected.

I don’t disagree for a moment that people dishing out crap can hinder our recovery. And self-serving recovery industry does not have the interests of the alcoholic at heart.

For me, I have experienced that the world is full of predators, shisters, and hypocrites, including the recovery industry and including many AA meetings. Shame on any of us for being so.

God still somehow manages to reach those who are truly seeking. The main component of my recovery is not what others can serve me up, but the condition of my heart and mind to hear, receive, and do.

Which I suppose takes us full-circle to the original point about self-esteem. I agree, we gotta crush that inflated grandiosity, whatever the source of it is. Whether it is an overcompensating statement of deep inner-weakness or just sheer arrogance doesnt much matter. Its gotta go if we are going to be reachable and teachable. Feeding it does no good.

Ciao.

Chaz

Comment by Chaz | September 1, 2010 | Reply

Who The Hell Do You Think You Are?

Danny is a born and bred New Yorker, (1957) who grew up in “da Bronx”, New York City and has lived most of his life in the borough of Queens. He now lives on Cape Cod in Massachusetts with his wife Nancy and their two children, Danny Jr. and Kristen.

The Schwarzhoffs are a complete family unit enjoying emotional, mental and physical health and a harmonious lifestyle free from harmful stress. Both children are Honor Roll students in their schools, are socially active and well balanced in all areas of their lives. In July, 2011 the Schwarzhoffs celebrated their thirty second wedding anniversary.

He writes. He plays guitar. Danny was born May 7, 1957. His parents divorced when he was five and he is the product of an alcoholic family life visa vi his mother’s live-in boyfriend who was an alcoholic.Danny himself is an alcoholic. He refers to himself as a “Recovered alcoholic” – no longer suffering from the malady. He got sober for the first time in 1997 and then again in 1999. He has been sober since.He owns several popular and enduring blogs about alcoholism, meditation, recovery and the Twelve Step based solutions to life’s problems. For eight years standing, both Google and Yahoo have rated Danny as the number one, top rated “Recovered Alcoholic”.

He calls himself a “Real Live Recovered Alcoholic”; no longer suffering from the malady. Danny stopped drinking for the first time in 1997 and then again in 1999. He has been sober ever since. He has over thirty years experience with a special form of non-religious, spiritual meditation that he teaches and writes about in tandem with his unique style of carrying the Twelve Step message of recovery that emphasizes this unique meditation technique. He claim it is the missing link in Twelve Step Recovery and has devoted his life to delivering it to the world, beginning with the alcoholic.

Danny was first exposed to the meditation technique he prescribes when he was about five years old. It happened following a traumatic experience with his mother’s violent, alcoholic live-in boyfriend. In order to deal with the humiliation and resentment he experienced at the hands of this man Danny stumbled upon the technique – which he later recognized as meditation – in order to protect himself from the harms caused by that painful traumatic experience. He was able to dislocate his emotions much in the same way that the circus contortionist might dislocate a shoulder. Miraculously, when the experience was over he realized that he no longer hated the man for beating him.

Armed with his secret ‘gimmick’, life could never be quite the same. Then in his teen years he discontinued the mystic ‘dislocation’ practice and descended into the perverse world of active alcoholism, suffering mental and physical dysfunction for nearly two decades. Then in 1999 during a “white light” spiritual experience everything changed and he was able once again to ‘meditate’. He has never needed to look back. He continues to apply this method in all areas of life and has continued to enjoy mental, emotional and physical well-being as well as spiritual healthfulness. Now he teaches the technique to others principally through working with alcoholics who are attempting to go through the Twelve Step Recovery process.

Not only has Danny fully recovered from alcoholism and substance abuse but through this technique integrated into the Twelve Step process he has been able to overcome major depression, anxiety, smoking, onset type II diabetes, obesity, high cholesterol, sugar addiction, colitis, hemorrhoids, and even erectile dysfunction. His doctors have un-prescribed virtually all of the prescriptions he has been given in the past decade including Lipitor, TriCore, and ADD medications like Adderall as well as the antidepressant drugs Effexor, Welbutrin and Lexapro.

He first began writing in the mid 70s when he landed a job as publicist and advertising director for a Bronx produce company. He wrote advertising copy and press releases for the company and directed all of their marketing and promotion until 1982. After several years as a Lobbyist in Washing DC serving the United Fresh Fruit and Vegetable Association he left to start his own weekly tabloid newspaper where he was Editor-in Chief of “The Fruit & Vegetable Reporter.” He wrote most of the tabloids feature stories and much of the news copy. Danny has published articles in Grapevine, AA’s magazine for Alcoholics, and also in the Barnstable Patriot on Cape Cod.

The late 80s and 90s brought Danny to Wall Street in New York City when he became a stockbroker. One of his firms became the subject of the movie “Boiler Room” – a factoid which fuels much of his storytelling on the subject of alcoholism, spiritual dysfunction and substance abuse in the workplace. In the late 90s he moved to Cape Cod where he began writing, working with alcoholics, and breeding thoroughbred racing pigeons. He also began working for several rehab centers aiding addiction counselors with rehabilitating alcoholics and drug addicts.

Today Danny give regular public talks on alcoholism and recovery. He has conducted Twelve Step workshops at recovery conferences in Boston, New York and in Denmark as well as at Dartmouth College (UMASS).

Although frequently consulted by treatment facility administrators and those in the recovery business Danny does not affiliate with any treatment center or rehabs. He hasn’t got any recovery models to sell. He gives his meditation exercise away for free and only writes of his experience on the subject with one goal in mind. He wants to persuade others to try it and to experience an entire change of being and lifestyle through it. He is not an authority on any recovery methods or organizations, God, alcoholism or spirituality nor does he speak or write in representation of anyone but himself. He is not a member of any organized religion or cult and has no axe to grind. He does however express his experience and observations as a spiritually awakened and Recovered Alcoholic. He does not write as a form of “Twelve Step” work for Alcoholics Anonymous or as a form of therapy.

Biographic disclaimer: Sometimes the question of anonymity arises – along with the issue of whether or not Danny is a member of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). If Danny were a member of AA, he would violate AAs traditions by saying so publicly. He would also be lying if he were a member and denied it. So in order to respect that organizations traditions he does not answer that question publicly. However, Danny does want his readers to know that AA has earned his respect and he approves of AAs Twelve Step Program. He also does not think that AA has a monopoly on recovery from alcoholism and that AA is not for everyone. He has attended AA meetings and has done extensive research into its history and Twelve Step Program and is an ardent practitioner of the Twelve Steps. He writes about some of these observations regarding AAs Program, Fellowship and history.

Danny Schwarzhoff is a recovered alcoholic and a writer by trade. He is not an authority on ANY recovery methods or organizations, God, alcoholism or spirituality nor does he speak or write in representation of anyone but himself. He is not a member of any organized religion or cult and has no axe to grind. He does however express his experience and observations based upon that experience as a RECOVERED alcoholic. He does not write as a form of “twelve step” work for Alcoholics Anonymous. Please see the FAQ for more information.

By Nancy Lee Schwarzhoff

Personal Note: I am so grateful to have gotten my husband back. We have been married now for almost twenty-seven years. He became someone I no longer recognized; certainly not the wonderful guy I fell in love with; who made me laugh, who held doors for me, who was truthful and honest; who was going to go out into the world and make a difference – who loved me and didn’t mind showing it. I lost that guy, during the years that he drank. To anyone who has an alcoholic spouse I truly hope you find what my husband has stumbled into. The joy and serenity that has come back is truly a second chance for both of us.

I hope we all enjoy his new book. (He swears he will start looking for a publisher soon!) On the too few occasions that he gives me a few pages to read I end up laughing and crying all on the same page. (I am sure he does that on purpose, knowing him like I do) Then again I went through much of it. So much he never let me know about. He kept so much inside of him. He became secretive and I wondered “How could I have been so mistaken about him?” I questioned whether he loved me at all and what I did to cause him to turn the way he seemed to be. We had no idea what was happening to him. To us.

Even though Dan has been writing his whole life, this is his first attempt at a real book. When he started it a little over a year ago, I knew in my heart that it was something he should do and have been as supportive (through my fears) as I could. I was shocked when suddenly he said he had over 200,000 words written! How he did that, I don’t know. I guess there is still much I don’t know about him as a RECOVERED alcoholic. I am sure he would have started it and given up in our old life. Things are still changing for us everyday.

Although it may or may not be a best seller; it may not conform what to some people think they already know about alcoholics, I will tell you that it is all true and amazing to me. Even his new found recovered friends are just the most amazing, larger than life wonderful people I have ever met in my life. Believe it or not, even the still sick ones he brings here to the house, still drunk!

Danny gets some pretty heavily criticism for being so outspoken. I must say, he does have a knack for cutting to the chase. This bothers some people, especially other un-recovered drunks – who do not even know him past his writings. But if they can deal with their own sensitivities, as I have learned, they will find my husband to be a loving and generous man with a passion for sobriety like none we can imagine. And it is only because of sobriety that it shows. Again.

I know Danny’s talk. He certainly does not walk his own talk a hundred percent. He is far from being a saint. Not on your life! But he does seem to have a skill for catching it before too much harm can come of it. And he helps an awful lot of people. I do admire that in him. But do not ever let him tell you that he walks the talk twenty-four hours a day.

There are second chances in life, happiness, and family. It is waiting for you, inside of you. I hope you find it.
- Love Always, Nancy

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